


take my hand (and my whole life too)

by portraitofemmy, rainbow_marbles



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Communication, Complete, Courtship through Food, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Consent, Fluff, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mentions of previous dub-con, Omega Bucky Barnes, Phone Sex, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Relationship Negotiation, Rimming, Romance, Scent Marking, get consent BEFORE YOU GO INTO HEAT PEOPLE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-10-26 22:34:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 56,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10796118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/portraitofemmy/pseuds/portraitofemmy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbow_marbles/pseuds/rainbow_marbles
Summary: First and foremost this is a story about love. It’s about two people who, for different reasons of their own, have become comfortable with the idea of being alone. But when chance or fate (or the will of a stubborn little Alpha unwilling to let injustice stand) puts them in each other’s path, the courage to try to make a good thing work is easy to find.This is a story about love. It’s story about partnership. It’s a story about the work you have to do, and how very worthwhile loving and being loved can be.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is FINISHED and will be updated twice a week, Tuesdays and Fridays. Huge thank you to both [wearing_tearing](http://archiveofourown.org/users/wearing_tearing/pseuds/wearing_tearing) and [bitchface47](http://bitchface47.tumblr.com/) for their beta work and feedback. 
> 
> Content warning: this fic contains discussion of previous dubious consent, but all on-screen sexual content is enthusiastically consented to.

He’s not coming.

Not that it’s exactly a surprise, Bucky reflects, swirling his drink morosely around in its glass. He’s been nursing this scotch long enough for the ice to melt completely, watering down the rich amber to a washed out tint of brown, and there’s still no sign of Frank.

He's not really sure why he's here, if he's honest. It's not like he and Frank are a thing, they're barely even friends, but he's been feeling a little lonely lately and there's no one else he can call if he wants a night out on the town. It had seemed like a good idea when he got home from school. He’d felt an itch to go do something instead of sit around in his condo all night and when he called, Frank sounded like he was bored too. Seems like he had found something better to do with his night.

Bucky sighs, looking up from his drink to shoot a glance around the bar. It isn’t exactly his kinda place; the music is too loud for conversation, but there isn’t really enough space to dance either. Still, there are plenty of people, plenty of Alphas sniffing around, and if he really didn’t want to be alone tonight…

He almost laughs at himself, shaking his head a little and knocking back the last of his drink. Like anything he could find here would make him feel _less_ lonely in the long run.

Someone sidles up to him as he puts his glass down, and at first he assumes it's someone wanting to order a drink, but when he turns to look, the guy is leaning against the bartop and looking at him. He's definitely an Alpha, Bucky could tell that even if he couldn't smell the scent. The confident posture, the annoying smirk on his lips, it all screams Alpha, and Bucky sighs internally.

The guy obviously takes Bucky's attention as interest, and leans into his space.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing here all alone?" is his masterful first line and Bucky has to roll his eyes at the unoriginality of it.

“Leaving,” he says, and goes to stand, when the Alpha puts a hand on his wrist, covering his scent gland. It makes Bucky’s skin crawl, and he tries to jerk away.

“Aww, c’mon baby, lemme buy you a drink.”

“Not interested,” Bucky says shortly, pulling his arm back to his chest reflexively. The confident sneer slides off the Alpha’s face, leaving behind a cold flash of anger, and adrenaline spikes through Bucky’s body in response.

“A little old to be that picky, aren’t you, pretty thing?”

"I might be, but I'm still leaving here alone tonight," Bucky says and makes to side-step the guy, but the Alpha moves into his way again.

"You're seriously saying no to me right now?" he says, like he's actually surprised that Bucky's not falling over himself to please him.

"I seriously am," Bucky says sternly and panic flashes through him when the Alpha grabs at him again, his left bicep this time.

"Listen you little bitch, I'm the best option you've got right now and you know it."

“Believe it or not, I’m not in danger of dying if I don’t get some hot dick tonight,” Bucky snarls, yanking his arm away. The movement is violent enough to make the old ache in his shoulder start in protest, but it gets him free. “I’m not interested.”

“Bet I could make you be,” the Alpha says, low and dangerous, and Bucky’s actually maybe starting to get a little bit scared, now. But he doesn’t have time to respond before another voice cuts in.

“He said he’s not interested, pal.”

Bucky and the Alpha both turn to look at the other person and the Alpha snorts when he sees him. "Run along kid, this ain’t your business."

The new guy bristles at being called a kid, but takes a step closer rather than turning away. Bucky can't help but think that's a little foolish. He's small and looks a bit like a strong wind could knock him over, and if it wasn't for the strong jawline, Bucky would think he really is a kid.

"I'm not leaving until you walk away," new guy says firmly, and oh god, he’s an Alpha too. Bucky is not in the mood for this tonight. The last thing he wants is two Alphas posturing over him. Even if the smaller of the two does seem to have his heart in the right place, every Alpha Bucky’s ever met who steps in in this kind of circumstance seems to think they’ve won the rights to Bucky’s time and attention, and sometimes even his body. Honestly, Bucky can handle himself. He may be an omega, and it’s never nice to feel threatened, but having someone step in and posture doesn’t exactly make him feel safer.

The bigger guy gets all growly and the smaller one isn’t really backing down either. He looks like he’s almost itching for a fight, but then a pretty blonde walks past them, obviously giving off signs that she's looking for something tonight, and the asshole seems to find that more appealing, so he immediately slinks off after her. The little guy moves like he’s about to follow them, but seems to change his mind and turns his attention back to Bucky. "You okay?"

“Fine,” Bucky says, and he’d usually tip his chin up, defiant, but something’s different about this Alpha. It takes Bucky a minute to place it, but the other man’s scent is… off, somehow. It’s enough of an enigma that he forgets to be defensive, and when the Alpha smiles at him, Bucky’s heart skips. Because apparently he’s a stupid idiot who’s easy for a sweet smile and a protective display.

"Okay, that's good. I should probably go... go find my friends," the Alpha says, awkwardly pointing to the other side of the bar. He gives Bucky another hesitant look, but then starts to turn away, giving Bucky a parting smile.

“Okay,” Bucky says dumbly, still trying to figure out the oddity in the Alpha’s scent. It’s only when he starts to walk away that Bucky places it, the specific type of scent masker that the doctors and nurses at hospitals use, so as not to overwhelm or intimidate their patients. Bucky’s smelled enough of it after his accident that it’s an intimately familiar scent.

“Are you a doctor?” he calls after the Alpha, who stops, startled.

“Nurse, actually. How can you tell?”

"I've been in and out of hospitals enough recently to recognize the scent masker. I didn’t place it at first because this is an odd place to be smelling it," Bucky answers.

"Oh, uh, a friend of mine is celebrating her birthday. I came here right after my shift, so it hasn't worn off yet," the alpha says, looking a little caught out.

"I've always wondered about that, if it goes away on it's own or if it's kinda permanent."

“Nah, usually if I shower when I get home it comes right off,” the Alpha says breezily. “I guess it used to linger something awful when it was first invented, but no one really wants to go around smelling like a hospital. Stays in my scrubs, but I try not to wear those out on the town.”

There’s something sweetly joking, genuine, about this Alpha’s smile that Bucky actually fucking blushes. Like a teenager.

“Not high fashion,” he agrees, and the Alpha laughs, warm and deep, surprisingly robust for someone so small. “I’m Bucky,” he offers impulsively.

"Steve," he says with another one of those wonderful smiles and Bucky really, really wants to keep talking to him.

"Uhm, so you can totally tell me to fuck off if you want, but uh- I'd like to buy you a drink, if you want," the Alpha blurts out suddenly and if Bucky didn’t know better, he’d say he the other man was nervous.

"I'd like that, Steve," Bucky says. "If your friends can spare you for a bit."

“They’ll live,” Steve says with a grin. “Two of them are my roommates, so it’s not like they’re pining for my company.”

He slides up onto the bar stool next to Bucky, and even though he’s visibly shorter than Bucky something about him is…. soothing. “So, what’s got you here alone, fending off the attention of pushy Alphas?” Steve asks, curious and unassuming.

"Was supposed to meet up with a friend who never showed. Which is rich, because coming here was his idea in the first place," Bucky says, a bit of an edge to his voice, because he's still pissed about that.

"That doesn't sound like a good friend," Steve frowns. "He didn't text or call?"

Bucky shakes his head. "I've tried reaching him, but he's not answering. I'd be worried, but this isn't the first time this has happened. I should have known better really."

"Maybe next time you can make the plans and then ditch him," Steve suggests.

Bucky smiles mechanically, but he can’t imagine leaving an Alpha hanging, even one who’s kind of an asshole sometimes. Especially since it’s not like he’s got a lot of other people clambering to be a part of his life right now.

“Hey,” Steve says, touching Bucky’s elbow softly. “Sorry, ignore me, I don’t know your life and here I go trying to solve all your problems. Pretty Alpha thing to do, isn’t it?”

Bucky laughs, taking a sip of his beer and trying not to focus much on the gentle press of Steve’s cool fingers. “Maybe a little,” he admits, and when he smiles over at Steve it’s genuine. “But I have it coming for complaining to a stranger about my problems.”

"Well, I have been told that I'm a good listener. Something about my face makes people spill their secrets," Steve jokes and Bucky laughs with him, but there's some truth to that. He doesn't know Steve, but there's something about him, a harmless energy despite the fact that he's an Alpha.

"So, a nurse huh?" he asks. "Not to sound like a completely judgmental tool, but that's a little unusual for Alphas?"

"That does sound judgy, but I'll let it slide, because yeah, there's not a lot of us. Nursing doesn't come with the same prestige as being a Doctor does. Not really Alpha bait," Steve answers.

"And you didn't really wanna go for gold?"

“My mom’s a nurse,” Steve says candidly, swiveling just a little in his chair in a way that makes Bucky think he’s kicking his feet under the bar. “I’ve known my whole life that doctors save lives but it’s nurses who really help people. And I wanted to help people.”

“Oh,” Bucky says, because he’s clearly batting a thousand with saying intelligent things tonight. “That’s really nice.”

Steve actually blushes, which makes Bucky’s heart swoop a little bit. “I dunno, it’s nothing special. Just a job.”

“Now why do I get the feeling _that’s_ not true.”

"Well, I don't really do anything earth shattering," Steve shrugs. "I just make sure people have their medicine and food and that they're feeling okay. That they have a friendly face around when things get tough."

"You might not think it's much, but it means a lot when you're stuck in a bed and miserable as hell," Bucky says honestly.

Steve gives him a soft smile and then hesitates for a moment. "You said you were around hospitals a lot lately?"

"Yeah," Bucky grimaces a little. "I'd really rather not talk about it, if it's all the same to you."

"No, no, I didn't mean to pry, just, you're okay right? Don't have to worry I'm gonna see you wheeled down one of my corridors?"

“I’m fine,” he says shortly, ready to end this conversation right now if Steve doesn’t let it go. Steve might be nice but if he’s gonna get pushy in other ways Bucky’s done.

“Okay,” Steve holds his hands out in a placating gesture, and Bucky doesn’t want to be placated either. He bristles, and shit, he just shouldn’t have come out tonight. Shouldn’t have started this conversation, should have gone back home when Frank never showed and curled up with Netflix and a pint of ice cream.

He’s startled out of his spiral of self-retribution by the soft touch of Steve’s hand on his elbow. “I’m not prying, I promise, but you don’t look like you want to be here. Can I walk you to the train?”

"I can get to the station all by myself, thank you," Bucky says gruffly. He's had about enough of... everything tonight.

"I know, I just thought you'd like some company. I promise there won't be any more hospital talk," Steve says gently and gives him another one of those smiles. Bucky's sure he should just get up and go, put this awful night behind him, but there's something about that smile Bucky can't say no to.

"Won't your friends mind if you just leave?"

"I see them pretty regularly and I already congratulated the birthday girl and gave her her present, it'll be fine," Steve replies.

“Why?” Bucky asks, before he can stop himself. “Why’d you step in earlier, why leave your friends now? I’m not even near a heat, s’not like if you’re nice to me you’ll get to be the one to see me through it. Why do you give a shit if I want company?”

“Jesus, what kinda Alphas do you know?” Steve asks, mildly horrified, and then rubs his forehead. “If you don’t want company, I’m not gonna put you out. You just seemed like you could use a friend. Sorry if I read that wrong.”

He pushes himself to stand up and Bucky calls before he can stop himself. “I’m not– I’m not saying you were wrong. I just don’t get why you care.”

Steve shrugs and there's that blush again. "At first I came over because I hate it when Alphas force themselves on omegas, like they have a right to their time just because of their designation, and I stayed because you seem like a good guy, nice to talk to. I'd hate for you to end this night on a terrible note."

"You go around making sure people have a nice night all the time?" Bucky asks dubiously.

"Well... no," Steve hedges. "But I have been told that I have a do gooder complex and don't know when to get my nose out of other people's business."

Bucky laughs and drops his head onto his hands on the bar. "Lucky me," Bucky murmurs and then straightens up. "What the hell, sure. But tell you what, though, I don't really wanna go home. How do you feel about milkshakes?"

Steve grins. "I feel very positively about them."

"I want ice cream something fierce and I've got jack shit at home. There's a diner near here that has amazing milkshakes. Wanna keep me company there instead?"

"Sure. I'll just go tell my friends that I'm leaving. Meet you outside by the entrance in five?" Steve suggests.

"Yeah, cool," Bucky agrees and quickly downs what's left of his beer as Steve weaves through the crowd.

When Steve shows up in front of the club five minutes later as promised, Bucky has to admit he's a little surprised he actually showed up.

"Thought I was gonna ditch you?" Steve asks knowingly.

“Wouldn’t be the first,” Bucky deflects, stuffing his hands into his pockets. The temperature’s dropped since he left home and he wishes now he’d worn something more substantial than a leather jacket.

He expects Steve to make another crack about how Bucky’s clearly had bad taste in Alphas, but instead Steve touches his arm again, just above the spot on his wrist where his scent gland is. Like he wants to offer comfort but doesn’t know if it will be welcome.

And the thing is, Bucky really wants offer out his wrist. He wants to trust the instinct that says Steve is safe, that it’d be safe to show Steve his soft spots. But he just met the man, and he knows better. He’s lived in this city all his life. But he wants, oh he wants. Hasn’t he spent most of his life wanting someone to be sweet for?

Steve just gives him a gentle smile and pulls away, sticking his hands in his pockets just like Bucky has. "So, lead me to this awesome diner of yours," he says and falls into step when Bucky starts walking.

They don't really talk much on the way and usually that would make Bucky nervous, anxious to find some topic that would have conversation flowing, but Steve seems perfectly fine walking beside him in silence and it puts him at ease. The diner is only a few blocks away, but by the time they get there, they're both more than a little cold and they slide into a booth away from the door and the big windows gratefully.

"You sure you still want ice cream?" Steve asks as he rubs his hands together.

Bucky laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, maybe not.”

“They have pie?” Steve asks, curious, reaching for the menu and Bucky laughs.

“It’s a diner, in Brooklyn. Of course they have pie,” Bucky scoffs. “Lemme guess. You’re totally an all-American apple pie type, aren’t you?”

“I’m actually more of a blueberry pie type,” Steve admits, dropping his head onto his hand and smiling. “Though I do like apple. You…. let me guess. Pecan pie?”

“Because I’m sweet and crunchy?”

"Something like that," Steve says and there's a twinkle in his eye that Bucky can't quite read.

"I like pecan pie fine, but if I can pick, cherry pie all the way," Bucky says with a grin.

"Should I take this as some double entendre?" Steve asks cheekily and it's so out of the blue Bucky bursts out laughing.

"Oh my god, I can't even believe you went there. I haven't even known you for an hour and you're already making dirty jokes."

"Well, you said it and it was too perfect to pass up," Steve says and shrugs innocently.

The waitress comes over while they’re both laughing, with that tired, haggard look of diner waitresses at 11 o’clock at night. Steve’s still snorting into his hand, but Bucky quiets enough to order a slice of cherry pie and some coffee.

“I’ll have blueberry,” Steve adds, and his foot tucks against Bucky’s under the table. Not sliding up his leg or anything, just touching. Bucky blushes. “And do you have any hot tea?” 

They make small talk until the waitress comes back with their drinks. Steve smiles at her in thanks, and then turns back to Bucky. “So you know I’m a nurse, what do you do?”

“I am actually a student,” Bucky confides, looking into his coffee cup. “I’m going to CUNY Brooklyn.”

"Yeah? That's cool. What are you studying?" Steve asks, cupping his tea with both hands to warm them up a little more.

"Linguistics," Bucky says, a little hesitant about admitting it. He's been told quite a few times how college is a waste of time at his age, that he should be focusing on finding something that pays, and his choice of study hasn't really helped the matter.

But Steve only smiles, looking impressed. "That's really cool. I've never been good at languages, my brain just doesn't seem built for that."

"That's probably not true. You just probably haven't had the chance to learn in a way that works for you. Few people really get good just hammering grammar into their skull."

“Maybe you’ll succeed where others have failed,” Steve jokes, glancing up as their waitress comes over with pie. “Thank you.”

They talk their way through the pie, and through another cup of coffee, and then another. Bucky’s phone chirps a low-battery tone and it’s only then that he realizes that it’s past three in the morning.

“Jesus,” he groans, scrubbing his hands over his face. “You don’t have to work tomorrow, do you?”

"Nah, took a day off because of the birthday celebrations," Steve answers. "I'm not really much of a drinker, but you never know how a night with Natasha is going to end."

"She's a party animal, huh?"

"I don't know if I'd call her that, but she certainly does know how to have a good time," Steve says in a way that sounds like Natasha's idea of a good time isn't necessarily what Steve finds a good time.

"What about you? Have any early classes you need to get to?"

“I’ve got class at noon,” Bucky sighs, “Which means I should probably get home and go to bed.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Steve says reluctantly, and Bucky’s stomach swoops pleasantly. It’s not a feeling he’s very familiar with, but he definitely likes it.

“Thanks for turning my night around,” Bucky says shyly. “This went a lot better than I expected it to even before I got stood up.”

Steve’s smile goes soft. “I’m happy I could help.”

They call their waitress over and settle the bill before putting their jackets on and braving the cold again.

"I gotta head that way," Steve says and points back into the direction of the bar where they met.

"I'm in the opposite direction," Bucky says with a nod of his head, his hands firmly stuffed into his pockets again.

"I guess this is goodnight then," Steve says and the smile he gives this time doesn't really reach his eyes.

"I guess so yeah," Bucky sighs.

"Do you think-" Steve starts and then pauses.

"You're not gonna offer to walk me home are you?" Bucky says, because as nice as this was, he's not really in the habit of leading strangers to his home. Even if Steve's not that much of a stranger anymore.

Steve blinks, startled. “No, not actually. I was gonna ask if you wanted to get dinner later in the week. But if you don’t want to it’s fine.” His shoulders hunch in, defensive, and Bucky feels bad.

“I didn’t say that,” Bucky says gently, and Steve looks up, hopeful. “I’ve got a late class tomorrow and Thursday.”

Steve makes a face. “I’m working night shifts Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.”

“Brunch on Friday?” Bucky suggests.

"That works yeah," Steve grins. "If it's not too forward, we could exchange phone numbers? Talk about specifics when we're not in a hurry to get some sleep?"

"That would be great. I really should hit the hay as soon as possible," Bucky says and fishes his phone out of his pants’ pocket.

They exchange phone numbers and then stand there a little awkwardly, not knowing what to say until Bucky breaks the silence.

"I'll text or call tomorrow then. It was nice meeting you, Steve," he says softly, smiling.

"It was nice meeting you too. Goodnight Bucky," he says and then turns to walk away. Bucky echoes it before he turns as well, stubbornly refusing to turn and watch Steve walk away.

____

They set the brunch date for Friday as agreed. Bucky’s all fluttery and excited, in a way he really can’t remember being since his early teens. It’s not that he’s had all bad experiences with Alphas, but he’s not exactly had good ones either. None of the ones he’s known have really had much interest in him outside of heats or ruts, of the warm holes he’s got to fuck.

He almost talks himself out of going by the time the day actually rolls around. He’s half convinced Steve is a drink and disappointment induced hallucination, but he doesn’t want to leave a nice guy hanging, on the off chance that he is real.

Still, he turns up at the same diner Friday morning pretty much expecting to be stood up by yet another Alpha.

He sits at the same booth they occupied last time for twenty minutes, his shoulders drooping more and more as the time ticks by. He was expecting it, but he didn’t want to be right. He’s contemplating ordering food anyway or leaving, when there's a commotion at the door and Steve comes barreling in. He looks around wildly, and his shoulders slump in relief when he notices Bucky and he hurries over.

"Oh thank god, you're still here," he breathes out as he slumps into the seat opposite of Bucky. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I'm no better than that friend of yours at the moment, I know, but I stayed a bit later at work than intended and I missed my bus and didn't have time to recharge my phone-"

"Steve-"

"- so I couldn't call and tell you I'd be a little late. And I was worried you might have left because you thought I stood you up-"

"Steve-"

"-which I had no intention of doing, I promise. I just fucked up and I'm sorry and I hope you're not mad and still want to stay and eat, though I'll totally understand if you don't want to," Steve finishes his word vomit and visibly deflates, just looking tired and worried now that he's said what he had to say.

“I’m not mad,” Buck promises, concerned. “Are you alright? I thought you were working tonight.”

“Got called in for an extra shift,” Steve says, making a face. “It’s fine, I’ll sleep all day tomorrow, I don’t have to go in until like 7pm. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you hanging.”

“It’s alright,” Bucky deflects, a little embarrassed that he’d thought Steve would stand him up like everyone else.

“I really am sorry,” Steve says quietly, and he slumps back into the booth like all his strings have been cut.

“I believe you,” Bucky replies honestly, cupping his hands around the mug off cold coffee in front of him just to have something to do. “Do you still want brunch?”

“Yeah, I’m starving,” Steve agrees, animating a little as he sits forward and reaches for the menu. “The last thing I ate was a microwave hot pocket thing from the vending machine at the hospital at like 2 am.”

Bucky makes a face. "That's disgusting."

"It is," Steve agrees. "But I work at a hospital and sometimes vending machine food is all I have time for and the cafeteria food isn't that much better. I've gotten used to it."

"No man should ever get used to shitty food, that's just sad," Bucky shakes his head.

"I'm not exactly picky," Steve shrugs.

“That’s just because you’ve been deprived of good food for so long. You can’t recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the touch of grass.”

Steve blinks at him. “Did you just quote Lord of the Rings?”

Bucky’s heart swoops a little in his chest, a happy little sing that makes him feel squirmy inside. He smiles into his menu, and admits. “I did, but you recognized it. Nerd.”

“Oh, so that’s how it is?”

"That's how it is," Bucky says and when he glances up, Steve is smiling at him over the top of his menu. It makes Bucky's throat suddenly feel dry.

"See if I pay for your brunch," Steve says jokingly and it takes Bucky a moment to reply with something.

"Nah, you should keep your money. Buy yourself some decent lunch to take with you next time."

“It’s more of a matter of time than money,” Steve says with a shrug, then looks studiously back at his menu. “Besides, it’s a date. I’d like to pay, if that’s okay.”

“Okay,” Bucky agrees, fighting down a series of complicated reactions. He doesn’t need an Alpha to pay for him, has never needed an Alpha to support him. But he doesn’t get the feeling that Steve’s offering because it’s his place, but more because he wants to do something nice for Bucky. It’s been a little while since someone just wanted to be nice to Bucky. “Well, I’m getting pancakes _and_ eggs, so feel free to back out.”

"Go crazy and have some bacon too," Steve says. "Or feel free to steal some of mine, because I'm definitely ordering some," he says and closes the menu, seemingly decided on what he wants.

"Think I'm gonna go with stealing some of yours, don't know if I can fit it all in my stomach if I order all three," Bucky replies, feeling warmth spread through him.

"Okay, but I reserve the right to steal a bite of your pancakes," Steve says and leans forward a little now that the menu is gone, giving Bucky his full attention.

“We can maybe work out a barter system,” Bucky agrees, squinting mock thoughtfully. Steve smiles at him, bright and happy, and Bucky’s stomach does the wiggle swoop again.

The sweet omega waitress who had been sympathetically filling up Bucky’s coffee cup for the last half hour makes her way over to them, giving Bucky a bright smile and Steve a more reserved one. “What can I getcha fellas?” she asks, and Bucky half expects Steve to try to order for him. But the Alpha doesn’t, just places his own order and then looks expectantly at Bucky.

"Pancakes and eggs," Bucky orders and she jots it down quickly before she heads back behind the counter.

"Have you done anything besides work since the last time I saw you?" Bucky asks in an attempt to keep the conversation going. He doesn't feel like he has to try really, they haven't run out of things to talk about and it doesn't feel like they will, but he doesn't want to risk it.

"Not really?" Steve says and puts his elbow up on the table, resting his chin on his hand. It's adorable. "I've been too tired to do much when I get home. Nat's birthday was all the fun I was allowed."

“And I dragged you away from it,” Bucky guessed, feeling a shot of guilt settle in his stomach. “Sorry about that.”

“Please don’t be,” Steve says, and he sounds earnest. “Believe me, I’m not sorry at all. Besides, I see those guys all the time, they’re my roommates and our friends, they’re around a lot. I liked getting the chance to meet someone new.” Steve finishes, seeming a little embarrassed, which leaves Bucky a little taken aback. He’s never really met another Alpha like this before.

He's not really sure how to respond to it, but lucky for him their waitress comes and saves him as she comes over and puts their order down on the table.

"God, this looks so delicious," Steve all but whines, his stomach making a loud growling noise in agreement. "I'm too hungry to even be embarrassed about that," he says, but Bucky can see a light dusting of red over his cheeks. It's adorable. Steve's adorable and funny and kind and Bucky has no idea what to do with it all.

"Well, don't let me stop you, dig in," he says with a grin and follows suit himself.

By the time their food is gone, Bucky’s laughed so hard he snorted his coffee, and his face literally aches from smiling. Steve’s sense of humor is dry and sarcastic, a little bit warped, but Bucky finds that he likes it. He really likes it. Actually, he really likes Steve.

The thought settles a little uneasily in his stomach, because he doesn’t know what to _do_ with it. He wasn’t looking for an Alpha, wasn’t looking to get attached again, but well. There was a reason he’d been sitting in a bar he hated last night, waiting aimlessly for someone to turn up. Loneliness wasn’t fun for anyone.

"So um, I should probably go. Have some stuff to do before I totally crash and fall asleep in the middle of a street. But this was fun and I'd really like to do it again," Steve says, smiling shyly at Bucky from under his bangs. Bucky's stomach clenches, but he knows what he's going to say, what he wants to say.

"Yeah, I'd love that."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The courtship through food continues, and a second proper date is had.

Steve wasn't lying when he told Bucky that his work schedule was really all over the place. They managed to grab some coffee after their first date and there was a dinner at a Chinese place close to the hospital, but other than that they've mostly stuck to texting and phone calls. It's not ideal, but it's easier to fire off texts and talk to Bucky when he's on his way home than it is to get time off work. He'd been worried that Bucky would grow impatient with how many times he's had to pass on hanging out in person, but if anything, the amount of texts between them have only grown over time.

Still, it’s been over two weeks since they’ve seen each other in person, and it’s sort of driving Steve insane. Texting is great and all, but something in the back of Steve’s brain is just itching to actually see Bucky, to be in the same room with him. Texting could never communicate body language or scent, and Steve finds himself missing those things desperately.

Which is why it’s such a pleasant surprise when Bucky turns up at the hospital halfway through his shift, with take-out-bags of food and a shyly hopeful expression.

Steve's so surprised at the gesture that he pleads with Sharon to man the nurses station on her own so Steve can have an early break. He leads Bucky to the nicer part of the hospital park, because it's nice out for a change (and it's away from snooping hospital staff).

Bucky brought sandwiches from the deli that Steve loves, full of melted cheese and sweet spicy barbecue sauce and a bag of local chips and honestly. It's a sandwich, Steve’s eaten a lot of sandwiches in his day. But this is literally maybe the best sandwich he's ever had, and Bucky leans in against him, scenting happiness so strongly Steve's probably gonna have to reapply the masker when he goes back or he's just gonna smell like really really pleased omega all afternoon. He's irrationally grumpy about the idea of having to wash Bucky's scent from his skin.

"Thanks for bringing this, really," he says gratefully. “It’s been such a busy shift, I thought I was gonna have to resort to vending machine food again.”

Bucky makes a face. “You really need to stop making that a habit.”

“Probably, but the only other option is to make myself something to go before work every day and I like to roll around in bed for as long as possible before I need to get back to the grind.”

"So, good food's not worth a little less lazy time?" Bucky asks, eyebrows raised.

"Until you work a twelve hour shift at a hospital, you don't get to be judgy over my poor food choices," Steve says and takes a big bite out of his sandwich.

"I've eaten a lot of hospital food," Bucky says mildly, in that casual way he brings up his injury that still throws Steve for a loop all the time. "I can't imagine not wanting to make time to avoid it after a while, no matter how tired I am."

"Well, lucky for me I got this guy I know who thinks I'm worth spoiling," Steve deflects after a minute, tapping his foot into Bucky's ankle and making him blush. His skin is the prettiest pink when he blushes, Steve thinks. He wants to track the change in scent on Bucky's skin.

"Hardly outta my way," Bucky murmurs, but he's pleased, so pleased, Steve can smell it. "I was just going to the library to write a paper. Believe me, I'd rather be here."

"Oh, I see, I'm just a distraction so you can avoid your obligations," Steve says playfully, nudging his shoulder against Bucky's.

"The best of distractions," Bucky grins and Steve is struck with the intense need to kiss him. He's glad that his own scent is masked now, because Bucky would definitely be able to smell it otherwise. Bucky likes him, Steve's almost certain he does, but he doesn't want to move too fast. Bucky hasn't revealed any specifics, but from what he did say, Steve gets the impression Bucky hasn't been treated all that nicely by Alphas in the past. He doesn't want to end up being one of them.

"Well, I'm ready to be a distraction any time you need," he says instead.

Bucky looks at Steve like he's hung the moon, and Jesus, that's dangerous. Steve could get used to being looked at like that.

"What about tomorrow night?" Bucky asks, and there's something teasing playing around his mouth, his eyes sparkling. "I could cook you dinner, you can give me an excuse to avoid studying for my morphology midterm."

Steve wants to take him up on it, especially since he actually has the night off tomorrow. But he can't help but be acutely aware of the pressure on omegas to be homemakers, to have to work to keep the interest of Alphas outside of heats by waiting on them. That's not what Steve's ever wanted.

"You don't have to cook," he says sincerely. "I could pick up a pizza on my way over, or we could go out. Or I could cook."

"You want to cook for me?" Bucky asks, taken aback, and his obvious surprise at an Alpha wanting to do something for him makes Steve's chest clench.

"Yeah. I'm not a master chef or anything, but I can cook. My ma wouldn't have let me move out of the house if I didn't learn," he smiles. "So I can pick some stuff up on the way to your place and then make you something good when I get there," he offers. He'd ask Bucky to come to his place, but he doesn't want the other man to feel like he owes him anything and he hopes that being on Bucky's territory will keep it a nice low-pressure evening. 

"That would... That would be nice," Bucky says a little hesitantly, but the happiness is still there, spiking in his scent, so Steve's not worried.

"Maybe... sometime we can cook together?" Bucky suggests, tentative. "Not this time or whatever, if you want to do it yourself, but I do actually like cooking, as cliche as it is. It's nice to not have it expected, but it'd be fun to do together?"

"Yeah, I think it would," Steve agrees, imaging flicking flour into Bucky's soft brown hair to make him laugh, then brushing the powder out of the silky strands for him.

"Next time," Bucky says decisively, sprawling a little so he's pushed against Steve from shoulder to hip. "So what are you going to cook for me?" he asks, grinning.

"Well, you're probably gonna be hungry from all the work you're avoiding, so I won't do anything long winded. How does steak and mac and cheese sound?" Steve suggests.

"Like, mac and cheese from scratch?" Bucky asks with hopeful eyes and even if Steve didn't intend to do it like that, he would just because of those eyes.

"Of course. Boxed mac and cheese does it in a pinch, but it doesn't count as cooking for you. Imma do all of it by myself."

"I can't remember the last time I had actual homemade mac and cheese," Bucky says wistfully. "Probably when my mom made it."

"Does your family live around here?" Steve asks, curious, because it hasn't come up yet.

"Nah, they live in Indiana," Bucky admits, and he looks sad. "My mother got transfered out there by her company, when I was a senior in high school. We had a bit of a falling out, because I didn't want to leave everything I knew 6 months before my graduation. Ended up just saying here with a cousin. We get together on Christmas and stuff, but we're not close."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Steve says and places a gentle hand on Bucky's arm. He wants to ask if that means Bucky was all alone when he got injured. He still doesn't know what happened, but it sounds like it was bad and he hates the thought that Bucky had no support when he was hurting. He's learned by now though that Bucky doesn't like to talk about or dwell on it, so he gives him a smile and another playful nudge while he changes the subject.

"Does around six work for you tomorrow? Should give me enough time to sleep off my shift and look vaguely human again."

Bucky makes a thinking face, his nose scrunching up in the most adorable way. "I should be back from class by then," Bucky says, licking his lips in a way that is totally fucking distracting. "I get out at 5:30, just gotta make it back from campus by then."

"Sounds good," Steve says around the mouthful of sandwich he'd taken a bite of to suppress the urge to kiss Bucky again.

___

Steve has a text with Bucky's address waiting for him when he wakes up the next day and his stomach is immediately a ball of nerves. He has plenty of time to get ready and get there on time, but he finds himself out of the shower and looking at what to wear hours before he needs to head out.

He likes Bucky, more than he's ever liked anyone, he thinks, and despite all of his plans to keep tonight casual, just test the waters a little more, it feels like... something. It feels like tonight is important, and he wants to get it right.

He spends the rest of the time pacing around his apartment and half paying attention to his TV, and when the clock says 4:30, he's beyond ready to get out and make his way to the grocery store.

He tries to be a little late, he tries not to seem overeager, but he still ends up in front of Bucky's door only a couple of minutes past six, ringing the doorbell nervously.

Bucky opens the door a moment later and Steve almost drops the bags he's holding. Bucky always looks good, but today he's dressed in nice jeans and the softest blue sweater Steve has ever seen. He's even done something to his hair that makes it look silky smooth and Steve itches to run his fingers through it.

"Hi," he says dumbly and all but melts when Bucky smiles at him.

"Hello, I see you found the place alright. Come in," he says and steps aside so Steve can do just that.

"The kitchen is right over here," Bucky says, motioning for Steve to follow him and put the bags on the counter.

"Your place is really nice," Steve offers as he starts to unpack.

"Thanks," Bucky says with a small smile and leans against the counter next to him. "Do you need any help with that?"

"No thanks, I got it. You can show me where you have your bowls and stuff though," Steve says, hoping Bucky can't tell how much he wants to touch him right now.

Bucky ends up sitting on the counter next to Steve's prep station, being thoroughly bothersome and attractive. He keeps stealing slices of cheese and looking innocent when accused. Steve doesn't know what to do with himself, besides focus on what he's cooking.

"So how was your shift?" Bucky asks after Steve foils his attempt to get another piece of cheese.

"Uneventful," Steve says focusing on the steak he's tenderizing. "I was in the recovery ward today, so not a lot of excitement, which is good."

"That's cool, I'm glad it wasn't too exhausting," Bucky says and reaches out for the cheese again, but this time Steve slaps his hand away at the right time.

"If you keep eating the cheese, there won't be enough to put in the macaroni," he chastises, but there's no real heat behind it.

"But it's so _good_ , and besides, look how much you've brought. There's more than enough," Bucky complains.

"You won't be hungry enough to actually eat the macaroni," Steve tries again, and Bucky grins.

"You underestimate my appetite," he teases, but does actually leave well enough alone after that, hopping off the counter to go fetch a strainer.

By the time the food is done, Steve's nerves have settled, and he's comfortable enough to bump his hip against Bucky's as they serve themselves from the casserole dish.

Bucky'd set the table while Steve was searing the steaks, and he set them kitty corner, so they're on joined sides of the square table instead of across from each other. It's closer, more intimate, and it makes Steve's stomach swoop happily.

He watches as Bucky takes his first bite of the dish and then almost wishes he didn't, because first Bucky's face looks surprised and then it slides into such open satisfaction, it makes Steve go hot all over, and to make it worse, Bucky flat out moans.

"This is so good Steve, ohmygod," he mumbles with his mouth full and then immediately digs in again when he swallows.

"I-I'm glad," Steve stutters, frozen to the spot until Bucky looks at him with a raised eyebrow and he shoves a forkful into his mouth just so he won't end up saying anything stupid.

Bucky just grins at him, knocking their ankles together under the table. It’s impossible for him not to smile back. “Where’d you learn to cook so good?”

“My Ma, mostly. And a lot of cooking shows.”

Bucky laughs, that warm, open happy sound that makes Steve’s chest squeeze in new and exciting un-asthma-related ways. “Lots of Chopped?” he teases, and Steve makes a face.

"Maybe. It got you this delicacy though, so don't poke fun," Steve says grumpily, but Bucky just shoots him another smile.

"Hey, I don't care how much of the cooking channel you watch, if it gets me more amazing food," he says and takes another generous bite of the macaroni. It makes Steve stupidly happy and content that Bucky likes it so much.

"Well, there's definitely more where that came from, if you decide you want a repeat," Steve promises.

“My turn next time,” Bucky reminds him, looking suddenly shy, and it’s all Steve can do not to reach out and stroke the tender skin on his wrist, a kind of reassurance and praise. It might, he wonders, even be a welcome touch. He grips his fork even tighter to stop himself from pushing the little bit he wants to.

They chat amiably through dinner, though Steve almost chokes on a piece of steak when Bucky’s ankle tucks against his. It’s simple contact, almost wholly innocent, like Bucky simply wants touch. Steve wonders how much innocent, affectionate touch Bucky’s gotten recently. From the little Steve knows of his life, it wouldn’t surprise him to learn it hasn’t been much.

"That was the best dinner I've had in a while," Bucky says when his plate is finally empty and he leans back in his chair.

"I sure hope so, I'd hate to think you got seconds of something you hated," Steve says teasingly.

Bucky just rolls his eyes and they sit in silence for a moment before Bucky clears his throat.

"You wanna move to the living room?" he asks tentatively. "I'll put the dishes away and then we can watch a movie?"

“Okay,” Steve agrees easily enough, and he’s pretty sure he made the right call with how Bucky unwinds, like strings that had been holding him taut were suddenly cut. They stack the dishes in the sink and head to the couch, dropping down onto opposite sides, where Bucky flips to his Netflix account.

“Ideas?” he asks, and Steve shrugs, happily surrounded by Bucky’s scent lingering in the fabric of the couch, the warmth of Bucky’s body a few inches from him.

“I’m game for whatever,” Steve promises, then revises. “Not horror. I’d like to sleep tonight.”

"I'm not into scary stuff either, how bout we settle on something funny?" Bucky suggests as he flicks through the options. "Oh Ace Ventura! Haven't seen that one in ages."

“Me too,” Steve grins. “Let’s go with that.”

Bucky presses play and Steve settles back into the couch as the opening credits start to roll. 

Steve's pretty focused on the screen, so at first he doesn't notice, but as a few moments pass, it becomes obvious that Bucky is slowly inching towards him on the couch.

Steve’s still trying to decide if he should say anything, try to head Bucky off before they end up in territory Steve’s not ready for yet, when Bucky seemingly decides to just throw caution to the winds and reaches for Steve’s belt. Steve catches his wrist on instinct, turning to him to with a firm “Hey, Buck, you don’t have to–” already started when he sees the look of panic on Bucky’s face.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky squeaks, tugging on his wrist, and Steve lets go immediately. Bucky scrabbles back, still speaking. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to push, I just thought. You seemed like you were into me, I didn’t mean to assume–”

“Hey, hey, Bucky, calm down,” Steve soothes, turning towards Bucky and reaching out for him, one hand hovering near his shoulder, the other brushing the skin near his wrist. “I’m not mad at you, I promise. C’mere?”

Bucky still looks wary, but he scoots a little close so he's within Steve's reach, and Steve touches his shoulder gently.

"I am into you," he admits, because it's kinda pointless not to. "I like you a lot, Bucky, too much to rush into something physical too fast."

Bucky is tense under his hand and he seems confused. "I don't understand. You like me, but you don't want to fuck me?"

Steve swallows anger that isn’t directed at Bucky, but could be so easily misinterpreted, and hurt that Bucky would think that of him. “I want to cook with you and watch movies with you and have greasy diner brunches with you. I want to get to know you,” he explains gently, and Bucky’s face shifts from confused to wary to resigned.

“But you don’t want to fuck,” he says again, drawing in on himself. “So you just want to be friends, and I misread all of this.”

“No,” Steve says sadly, unable to stop himself from reaching out to rub his thumb across the scent gland on Bucky’s wrist. Bucky’s body starts to lose tension immediately, shivering a little. “I do want you, Bucky. I want to kiss you and hold you and pet you and make you smell like me. I just want us to be closer before we fuck.”

Bucky looks torn, like he wants to accept Steve's explanation, but doesn't fully believe it, and Steve bites his lip against the touch of distress in Bucky's scent.

"We could- We could do all of that and still fuck," Bucky offers hesitantly and Steve abandons his plans on not touching too much, because it doesn't seem like Bucky will believe his words alone. He slowly runs his hand from Bucky's shoulder, up his neck, and then gently cups his cheek.

"Yeah, we could. And I want to, I think about it and I know that once we get there, it'll be so good, so good Bucky," he says lowly. "But before that happens, I want to get to know you, for you to know me, for you to believe that I want you, not just your body."

Bucky watches him for a minute, quiet, pretty grey eyes flicking around like he’s trying to spot a tell somewhere on Steve. “I don’t know how to do that,” Bucky admits, finally looking away from Steve and down at his lap. “I’ve never had anyone want to know me like that before. Even the Alphas I’ve gone back to for heats or fun or whatever, they’re just. Frank, the guy I was waiting for the other night, he’s not a bad guy. He’s never hurt me or pushed me or anything, he’s just caught up in his own shit and all he’s got time for is sex.”

“I got time for you,” Steve promises, sliding his hand up to sink into Bucky’s thick, silky hair. Bucky practically melts, and Steve smiles, grabbing a throw pillow to put on his lap so he can guide Bucky’s head down to rest there without giving mixed signals. “I’ll make time for you.”

Bucky moves like he's been waiting for this the whole night, curling up on the couch with his head on the pillow, one of his hands hesitantly placed on Steve's thigh and Steve's chest aches for how touch starved he seems.

"What if I do it wrong," Bucky asks quietly after Steve starts stroking his fingers through his hair.

"There is no right or wrong way to do it. You'll make mistakes, I'll make mistakes, but we'll sort it out. This isn't some sort of three strikes and you're out thing, we'll make it up as we go along,"

Bucky nods, curling up more like he wants to get as close to Steve as possible. No wonder he’s so eager for sex, Steve thinks, if sex is the only kind of touch he gets. Steve swaps out his hands so he can pet Bucky with one hand, and run the other down is back in a long slow loop. Bucky’s eyes flutter shut, and Steve smiles, rubbing the skin behind Bucky’s ear with his thumb. “You’re so sweet,” he whispers, and Bucky makes a soft little sound, like a cross between a sigh and the quietest keen imaginable.

They lapse back into silence, the movie still playing on the TV filling the void, but Steve’s watching Bucky as much as the movie, and Bucky’s eyes are shut more than they’re open.

Bucky falls asleep at some point and Steve lets him doze through the rest of the movie, but he thinks he should probably wake him up when it's over, so Bucky doesn't fuck up his sleep schedule too much. He calls his name and shakes him gently, smiling when Bucky scrunches up his face adorably.

"Hey sleepy head, come on, wake up. It's not time for bed yet," he says softly and Bucky rolls over onto his back, stretching a little before he blinks his eyes open.

"Have a good nap?" Steve asks, taking in the soft look on Bucky's face, his rumpled hair. He's the most beautiful thing Steve has ever seen.

“Mmhmm,” Bucky hums, a little sleepy still, and turns to nuzzle his face against Steve’s hand.

“I should go, let you get some sleep for real. You must be tired,” he says gently, traces the line of Bucky’s nose with the tip of his finger, up to his eyebrow and across. Bucky moves so he can nuzzle at Steve’s wrist, brush his lips against it, breathing deep. God, he’s going to be covered in Steve’s scent, drenched in it. The thought makes Steve’s heart speed up, his dick twitch despite how much he means everything he said to Bucky earlier.

Bucky presses his lips against the spot more firmly and Steve has to squeeze his eyes shut, rally his thoughts.

"Bucky," he says firmly, warningly. Bucky backs off and when Steve looks down, he seems contrite, but not as fearful as he did earlier in the evening, for which Steve is grateful.

"Sorry," Bucky says. "I didn't mean to push, honestly, you just... you smell really good."

Steve smiles, rubbing his wrist over the curve of Bucky’s jaw one last time before nudging him up. “I like your scent too,” he admits, stretching a little as Bucky settles close to him. “I really should go though. I have an early shift and you have a paper to write.”

Bucky makes a face and Steve laughs, tugging him in to brush their noses together, and press a quick, fleeting kiss to his cheek, near enough to the corner of his mouth that Steve can feel the other man’s breath. It makes him tingle. “I’ll see you soon?” Bucky asks, shy, and Steve nods.

“As soon as possible.”

"Tomorrow?" Bucky asks hopefully. “I could swing by for lunch?"

Steve wants to say yes, because Bucky bringing him tasty sandwiches and spending time with him during work sounds perfect, but Bucky seems so eager and Steve really doesn't want him to think he has to be at Steve's beck and call.

"I'd like that," he smiles. "But you don't have to keep going out of your way."

“It’s not,” Bucky assures, and even though he’s eager he does sound sincere. “I don’t have class or any other plans besides studying and I’ll definitely need a break. And if it’s during your lunch break it’s a finite amount of time, right? So I can just make myself go back and study more after, without worrying I’m gonna get distracted like I probably would if I came back home.”

“Okay,” Steve agrees. “Just don’t feel like it’s something you have to keep doing.”

“I don’t, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky Barnes needs a hug. :( Thank you so much for reading, and we appreciate your comments!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprises and movie dates await.

A few days after that mess of an evening, Steve decides he wants to do something nice for Bucky. The events of that night had made it crystal clear to Steve that Bucky had never been properly wooed before and Steve wanted to change that. Bucky deserved to be wined and dined and surprised. And Steve has the perfect date in mind.

He tries to be subtle about it, when he turns up at Bucky’s place to take him out for the evening. He considers bringing flowers, but then decides that might be overkill. He’s eager nonetheless, bouncing on his toes at the door to Bucky’s building. Bucky is immediately suspicious, pestering Steve the whole subway ride from his place, but Steve keeps evading questions. Bucky keeps it up, going so far as to list off all the attractions he knows of near the stop they get off at, until they round the corner and Bucky can see the movie theater and the posters displayed declaring it classic movie night and he stops in his tracks in surprise.

“They’re showing Casablanca and Citizen Kane and King Kong,” Steve says hopefully. “I don’t know about Kane, but you have posters for Casablanca and King Kong, and I noticed you have a bunch of classics collections on your DVD shelf so I thought you might want to go? I got tickets, it’s a special showing, so you had to get them on pre-sale, but I’m sure there’s someone loitering around we can pawn them off on if you’d rather go see something new?” he rambles, but Bucky’s grinning.

“Why would I want to see something newer? This is amazing!” Bucky’s face is utterly delighted, and Steve feels warm, happy at having guessed right.

Steve's not really one for snacks at the movies, everything costs way too much if you ask him, but this night is special and he leads Bucky to the concession stand and lets him pick. "I can't believe you thought of this, I never even said anything," Bucky says, eyes sparkling as they wait for their popcorn and soda.

"No, but I noticed the posters and I figured they weren't just randomly chosen. They could've been I suppose, but I got the feeling you're not the kinda person to hang up stuff on your wall just because it looks cool."

Bucky smiles shyly, so sweetly happy scented that it makes Steve want to tuck his nose behind Bucky’s ear and just breathe him in. “Not really,” he admits. “Still, no one’s noticed before. And you’ve only been to my place once!”

“I dunno, the posters were pretty easy to notice,” Steve shrugs, and slides his hand into Bucky’s while they wait. It leaves their wrists brushing, scent glands rubbing together, and it makes Steve shiver a little, even this simple, high-school-really kind of scent marking. If the way Bucky’s cheeks flush a little is anything to go by, though, he’s feeling the same way.

"So, if not randomly chosen, are they your favorite movies then?" Steve asks.

"In a way, yes. I used to watch them with my grandma when I was little. She was a fan and when we visited her, the only things that were acceptable to watch were the classics," Bucky says with a fond smile. "I used to be so angry over it, because I wanted to watch my cartoons, but then she showed me King Kong and I was hooked. We didn't watch stuff like Casablanca until I was older, but I kind of fell in love with how glamorous the alphas and omegas were in those movies. Used to fantasise about my life being like that, but that's not really how real life works I guess," he finishes quietly.

“You wanted to be swept away by moonlight?” Steve teases after a minute, not sure what else to say, and Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Yes, and be kissed so it looks like we’re trying to mash our faces together by sheer force of will, with lots of side to side wiggling.” Steve laughs, squeezing Bucky’s hand lightly in his. “No, I guess I just… I always liked the idea of someone just… seeing me, and knowing I was meant to be theirs. You know? There’s no courting or casual sex or anything in these movies. Alphas just meet their omega, and it’s like it’s written in the stars. I know better now, but when I first designated it was really scary, feeling like I was a prize to be won. I liked the idea that the person who was supposed to have me would just know somehow.” He drifts off into silence, and looks a little embarrassed. “I’ve never told anyone that. It sounds silly now.”

"No it doesn't," Steve says softly and squeezes Bucky's hand reassuringly. "A little bit idealistic, sure, but not silly," he says and can't help but move his thumb so it strokes over Bucky's wrist slowly. He thinks about Bucky, young and scared and hoping for an alpha who'll take him as theirs and make him feel safe, only to run into a string of assholes just interested in his body. It only makes Steve more determined to do right by him.

Bucky shivers at the touch, but he still looks a little uncertain, so Steve goes on his tiptoes and presses a light kiss against his cheek. "I think it's sweet."

Bucky’s looking at Steve dopily, like he’s trying to come up with something to say, when their popcorn and soda is put down on the counter and they have to let go of each other to carry it.

The movie theater is crowded enough that while they have no problem finding seats together, they have to pick their way carefully around people to get to them. They end up settled together in the middle of a row, higher than Steve would generally like, but Bucky seems content enough, using the excuse of the stranger next to him to lean into Steve’s side. Steve wishes briefly that he were taller, that he could slip his arm around Bucky’s shoulders and hold him close, but instead he just takes Bucky’s hand in his again, and settles in to watch the show.

Bucky is completely entranced by the movie and just like last time, Steve finds himself sneaking glances at him. Steve likes old movies fine, but it's clear from the expression on his face that Bucky really loves it and Steve privately congratulates himself on a great surprise date idea.

Halfway through the movie, he can feel Bucky shifting, and for a moment he irrationally thinks they're gonna have a repeat of last time, but Bucky only moves to rest his head against Steve's shoulder. He seems to have slid down in his seat and is leaning heavily on the armrest to make it work. It can't really be comfortable.

"Bucky..." he whispers, but only gets a- "Shh, I'm watching the movie," in response.

Steve bites his lip not to laugh, and nudges Bucky away a little so he can push up the armrest between their seats. Like this, Bucky can curl down more fully, settling into Steve’s side. It still doesn’t seem comfortable, almost a full foot of difference in their heights working against Bucky, but this close Steve can smell his happiness even stronger, so he stays quiet.

There’s a short break between the movie and the next, and when the house lights come up, Bucky sits up, stretching.

“You’re gonna get a crick in your neck,” Steve says fondly, and dutifully ignores the patch of skin on Bucky’s stomach where the stretch caused his sweater to ride up.

"Then I'll just have you massage my neck for me until it gets better," Bucky says matter of factly, but Steve doesn't miss the smug little grin on his face.

"Oh really? You think I'll just go along with it?" Steve asks, even though yes, if Bucky was in any kind of pain, he would jump to make it feel better.

"Of course you will. You're a nurse, it's your duty to help people," Bucky counters and he's outright grinning now.

“I’ll bill your insurance company,” he says dryly, but reaches for Bucky nonetheless, setting his hand on the tense muscle of his neck and digging in with his thumb.

Bucky makes an obscenely happy sound, enough to earn them a glance from the couple in the row beneath them, but Steve pays them no mind. Bucky’s like a cat, tilting his head this way and that, guiding Steve towards the spots he wants worked on. But when Steve brings his other hand up to Bucky’s left shoulder to start digging in, Bucky flinches away, startled.

Steve pulls back instantly, hands up in reassurance and concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Bucky says, avoiding Steve’s gaze. “My shoulder’s just… tender.”

"Oh, okay," Steve says and can't help the way his eyes wander to Bucky's shoulder, like he'll be able to see the damage through his sweater, but he snaps himself out of it quickly.

Bucky is still not looking at him and Steve is looking for something to say to diffuse the situation, but Bucky stand up suddenly.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, the line's probably not too bad now," he says quickly and then hurries down the aisle as fast as the other patrons in their row will let him.

“Shit,” Steve whispers to himself, slumping back in his chair. Everything about the evening had been going so well, enough to lull him into forgetting what little he knew about this secret hurt which was basically the only thing Bucky kept to himself.

Steve resolves to give him space until the lights go down, and if he doesn’t come back by then he’ll go and check on him. Bucky comes back before then, though, the sides of his hair damp as though he’d splashed water on his face. He slides down next to Steve, dropping his head back onto Steve’s shoulder to forestall conversation and Steve lets him. He’s not sure what he would say anyway.

Fortunately as the second movie starts, Bucky’s body loses the tension it had been carrying, and he settles in to watch the show. Steve can’t help himself from turning a little to press a kiss into Bucky’s dark hair, take in a breath of his scent which, if not as sparklingly happy as before, has settled back into contentment.

They watch the second movie in silence, but as the final bit of the movie plays, he can feel Bucky tense up again, probably worried that Steve will want to talk about what happened earlier when the lights turn on again.

Steve is perfectly fine not talking about it if Bucky doesn't want to, so when the lights go up, he gently nudges Bucky away and sits up.

"I'm gonna go brave the bathroom line this time. Should I grab more popcorn on my way back?" he asks, a soft smile on his face, which he hopes Bucky will understand as the peace offering it is.

“I’m not really hungry,” Bucky says softly, and there’s some kind of internal battle happening behind his eyes. Steve can’t tell what wins out, but eventually he says, almost timid, “hurry back?”

“I will,” Steve promises, and wonders as he stands if Bucky’s been left behind on movie dates before, when some new opportunity presented itself (or themselves) to whoever he was with. Steve wouldn’t be surprised.

It’s 10pm when the third movie starts, and by the midway point Bucky’s body has gone sleep-lax against him, the breath against Steve’s neck regular and slow, and when Steve glances down at him occasionally he’s blinking his eyes open, like he’s fighting the edge of sleep.

"You can have a small nap if you want, I'll wake you when the movie ends," he whispers to Bucky. He's not sure if Bucky's tired or maybe it's just because they've been sitting in a dark room for so long, but if Bucky needs the sleep, Steve's perfectly fine with Bucky sleeping on him.

"Nah, wanna watch the movie," Bucky whispers back.

"But you've seen it before."

"So?" Bucky counters. "Besides, you brought me here on a date, I'm not gonna sleep through it."

“Okay,” Steve lets it drop, shifting the position of his arm so he can reach up and scratch his fingers through Bucky’s hair. If possible, Bucky goes even more pliant against him, and Steve smiles. He likes knowing little tricks like this that make Bucky relax, make him happy. He’s aware of how much more he’d like to know, how much he wants to be the person who knows how to take this sweet omega apart with a couple touches.

Steve does get sucked into King Kong, more so than the other two, so he couldn’t say if Bucky actually slept, or just stayed tucked into Steve’s side, relaxed and content. By the time the lights come up in the theater he’s awake, anyway, sleepy and with a crease on his cheek from Steve’s jacket, but meeting Steve’s gaze with a smile.

It's dark outside when they file out of the theater, colder too, despite the warm temperature earlier in the day and Steve steps closer to Bucky when he notices him shiver.

"I'd offer you my jacket, but it probably wouldn't fit," he says sheepishly as he winds his arm around Bucky's waist.

"That's okay, this is better," Bucky smiles softly and leans into his side. Steve is (for the most part) done being bitter about his small size, but sometimes it still comes up and he's glad that it doesn't seem to be an issue for Bucky.

“Do you want to call an Uber?” Steve offers, even though he doesn’t like the idea of the evening coming to an abrupt halt, despite the fact that it’s past midnight. Still, he doesn’t want to make Bucky traipse all over the city in the cold if he doesn’t want to.

“I’m fine walking,” Bucky promises, looking more alert now, less sleep fogged. “Steve…. thank you. Thank you for tonight. I wasn’t kidding when I said no one has ever done anything like this for me before. No one has ever cared enough to try.”

It never fails to break Steve's heart when Bucky tells him stuff like this. To him, Bucky is so special and he can't understand how no one has seen that before.

"You should probably get used to it, cause I'm planning on surprising you like this more often," he says instead of something that might make Bucky feel like he's being pitied.

"Yeah?" Bucky asks and Steve pretends he can't see the wet sheen to his eyes.

"Definitely. Anything that makes you smile deserves a repeat," he grins.

“You gotta give me a chance to return the favor,” Bucky says casually as they walk. “I haven’t seen your place, though, so I haven’t been able to secretly snoop on your interests.”

Steve laughs, jokingly pushing Bucky away, then tugging him back by the hand. “My apartment has two roommate’s shit in it too, you’d have to play the guessing game of ‘Steve, Sam or Riley?’”

“I think that sounds like a challenge,” Bucky teases, and laces their fingers together, wrists rubbing. Steve’s going to go home tonight drenched in his scent. He can’t wait.

"Well, you did say you wanted to cook together sometime. Sam and Riley usually have a date night every weekend, so if I can get Friday or Saturday off, you could come over and try to guess as we make dinner," he offers.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that," Bucky grins and Steve's stomach does a flip, both from the smile and the thought of Bucky in his home.

They continue to make plans as they walk back to Bucky's place in Flatbush and it passes by way too quick for Steve's liking, because one moment they're tossing barbs at each other and the next they're already at Bucky's building.

Bucky looks up at the building like going into it is tantamount to going off to war, and Steve feels a rush of affection so strong he’s sure it came out in his scent, even if he himself can’t smell it.

The way Bucky glances back at him confirms it, a little surprised and shy. “You could come up?” he offers, and Steve rubs his thumb along the delicate skin inside Bucky’s wrist, across his scent gland.

“Not this time,” Steve apologizes, and Bucky nods, but he’s stopped looking stung every time Steve pumps the breaks.

“I’ll talk to you soon?” he asks, getting ready to draw away, and Steve can’t let the evening end here, he just can’t.

He tugs Bucky closer to him before his brain has a chance to come up with a reason not to and reaches out with his other hand, so he can cup Bucky's cheek. Bucky looks confused for a second, but when Steve lifts up on his toes, he's already leaning down and their lips meet halfway.

From this close, Bucky's scent is even stronger and the elation, happiness and surprise are there clear as day and it makes Steve lift a little higher so he can tilt his head and deepen the kiss, nip a little at Bucky's plush lip.

A fine shiver wracks through Bucky’s body at that, and they’re pressed in close enough that Steve can feel it. One of Bucky’s hands slides around his back, and oh hell but Steve wants him. Imagines looping his arms around Bucky’s neck and jumping up, letting Bucky catch his weight. Imagines pushing Bucky down onto his knees so Steve can pet his hair and tell him how beautiful he is, and guide him forward.

Bucky, when they part, looks like he’s moments away from falling to his knees on his own. His eyes are wide in surprise, want and gratitude and hope written all over his face. It makes Steve swell, part Alpha pride and part simple happiness at the reciprocation, and he strokes his thumb over Bucky’s cheek. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Bucky looks like he wants to protest, but he bites his lip and nods. "Night," he says, sounding a little dazed, and Steve almost doesn't want to let go when Bucky pulls away from him and turns to go into the building.

He stands there watching as Bucky unlocks the front door and gives him one last smile before he ducks in, and then stands there for a little longer before he can bring himself to snap out of it and leave.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some details about the past come to light.

Steve and Sam both manage to get a night off on Friday, so Steve anxiously spends the hours before Bucky is set to arrive cleaning around the apartment and making sure everything looks presentable. Sam, of course, thinks it's hilarious.

"I can't wait to meet this boy of yours. He really must be something if he's got you in such a tizzy," he says from the living room where he's calmly sipping on his coffee while Steve scrubs the dining table.

"I am not in a tizzy, his place is just really nice and I don't want him to think I live in a pigsty," Steve grunts.

"We do not live in a pigsty."

"The stack of dirty dishes I just washed would beg to differ."

“We’ve got a dish washer,” Sam points out, and Steve glares at him.

“Which is full of clean dishes, that no one bothers to put away, because if you just take dishes out of there instead of the cupboard it’ll be empty eventually, right?”

“Hey! I don’t do that. Riley does that, not me.”

“Uh huh,” Steve mutters, straightening up to try and stretch out the knot in his back with a wince. “Keep telling yourself that.”

Steve thankfully gets everything done with time to spare even with Sam's constant ribbing, and ducks into the shower to make himself presentable. By the time he's out of the bathroom and dressed he's starting to wish he'd made Sam and Riley leave early, because they're sitting in the living room like they're his parents and he's fifteen and bringing his date home for the first time.

"Seriously guys, don't be overbearing. I like him and I want him to want to come over again after this evening."

"Aww, look at our Stevie, all grown up and overprotective," Riley teases.

“Look, he’s–“ Steve sighs in frustration, looks at Riley specifically. “He’s not met a lot of the good kind of Alphas, if you know what I mean. He tends to be deferential and if he feels like you, either of you but more Riley, are passing judgement on him as an omega he’s likely to react poorly.”

“You remember what I do for a living, right?” Sam says gently, while a cloud of dark disapproval passes over Riley’s face. “You remember that we met in a psychology seminar on working with abused omegas? We’ll play nice, Steve. I promise.”

"Okay, good, thanks," Steve says and takes a deep breath. It's not like he thinks Riley and Sam will be mean to Bucky, but they like to tease and Bucky doesn't know them well enough to know it's not mean spirited.

He jumps when the buzzer rings a few moments later and hurries over to let Bucky in. He's a little past trying to hide that he's eager, so he waits by the open front door for Bucky to come up the stairs and walks over to greet him with a hug.

"Hey you," he says softly and wonders if it'd be overkill to tell Bucky that he's missed him.

Bucky grins at him, and Jesus. In the maroon leather jacket and dark pants, he looks like every teenage fantasy Steve ever had. The fact that the jacket’s hanging open to reveal a soft grey sweater that looks like it was made for cuddling just makes it all the better. Or worse, depending.

“Hi,” Bucky greets him, looking shy and eager and excited all in a measure, and Steve can’t help himself, he just can’t. He stretches up on his toes, cupping Bucky’s jaw to tug him down into a soft, fleeting kiss.

"I was hoping there'd be more of that," Bucky murmurs as they pull apart and Steve smiles, can't help but feel pleased.

"There'll definitely be more of that," he promises. "But first, uh, my roommates are still here. They're leaving soon, but they still have a bit before their reservation is up and they wanted to meet you."

"Yeah, okay," Bucky nods, but he looks nervous.

Steve links their hands together, thumb brushing Bucky’s wrist in comfort, as he leads him into the living room. Sam’s leaning comfortably into Riley’s side, not an awkwardly overt gesture of public affection, but enough to say “we’re together, this Alpha’s taken, he’s not a threat.” Steve hasn’t seen Bucky around many Betas, but it’s Riley Bucky’s eyes flick too when they enter the room, and Steve thinks his guess was probably right.

“This is my best friend, Sam,” Steve introduces, and Sam raises a hand in greeting. “And his bondmate Riley.”

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Bucky," Bucky says and waves back.

"It's nice to meet you too, good to be able to put a face to the person who's been making Steve smile so much," Sam says warmly.

"Sam," Steve groans, but when he looks over at Bucky, he just looks a little smug.

"I make you smile, huh?" he says teasingly and Steve groans again. “How’d you meet?” Bucky asks, curiously, glancing between Sam and Steve.

“College,” Sam, says easily. “Steve was in pre-med and I was in psych and we had a lot of overlap in classes. Steve has a tendency to….. end up punching other Alphas if he lives with them too long? So we ended up moving in together.”

“I’ve lived with Riley for 4 years!” Steve protests, and then mutters sulkily. “I only punch them if they do something to deserve it. It’s not my fault the school kept placing me with assholes.”

"Somehow I am not at all surprised to hear this," Bucky says, amused.

"Witnessed it first hand then?" Sam asks.

"Oh yeah, I- wait, did he not tell you how we met?"

"He said he bumped into you the night of Nat's birthday and you had drinks. Is that not what happened?" Sam asks, eyebrows raised.

"It is, but he didn't bump into me, he came over because some asshole wouldn't take no for an answer," Bucky says almost gleefully.

Sam narrows his eyes at Steve. "You were picking fights at Natasha's birthday? You do have a death wish."

"I was standing up for someone who needed it!" Steve protests and Bucky raises an eyebrow. "Or someone who needed back up anyway. I'm not sure how I feel about you two knowing each other if you're just going to gang up on me."

"Oh, I don't know, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Sam grins. "Steve, be a pal and get my new friend Bucky here a beer."

Steve rolls his eyes, but ends up doing what he says, because Bucky is smiling and relaxed enough to slide into the armchair adjacent to the couch as Sam starts talking about the time he had to physically carry Steve away from a fight.

"He was mad at me for days, but he had an important midterm coming up, I wasn't about to let him get his face smashed in."

“Meddlesome Beta,” Steve grouses, but reveals the jest by pressing the ice cold beer to the back of Sam’s neck. Sam squawks, flailing a little, and Riley laughs at him. Bucky’s watching them, amused, and it makes Steve so happy he can’t force himself to stay away. Instead he perches on the arm of Bucky’s chair, stroking his hair once in greeting, and Bucky melts into him. He’s the goddamn sweetest thing Steve’s ever seen. He will put up with half an hour of embarrassing stories for this.

Bucky’s leaning into Steve’s side by the time Sam and Riley get up to head out for their dinner reservation. “You be good to this one, I like him,” Sam says to Steve mock sternly, and Steve can smell the wave of pleased embarrassment coming off Bucky.

"Wasn't really planning on doing anything else, mom," Steve throws back. "You and pa have a nice dinner."

Sam only laughs in response and it's soon cut off by the sound of the front door closing and then they're alone.

"Your friends are nice, I like them," Bucky says, moving to wrap his arms around Steve's waist, burrowing even closer.

“They like you,” Steve says fondly, bring both arms around Bucky’s shoulders in a tight hug. He buries his nose in Bucky’s hair, drawing in a deep breath of his scent, lightly sweet and happy. “I like you too.”

Bucky draws back to look up at Steve with big grey eyes, hopeful and happy and still a little shy. Steve smiles at him, leaning forward to kiss his forehead, the tip of his nose, then the soft bow of his lips. Buck opens up for him, eager and warm and so so sweet, it’s all Steve can do to make the touch fleeting.

"We should probably start on our own dinner," he says when he pulls away, but his grip tightens almost instinctively when Bucky blinks his eyes open, looking at him all soft and trusting. 

"Probably yeah," he agrees, but makes no move to pull away, noses along Steve's jaw.

"Bucky..."

"No, I know, just, wanna stay like this for a moment longer."

Steve brings his hand up to cup Bucky’s jaw, cradle it while he kisses Bucky’s cheek. “Alright,” He agrees, and lets himself bask in this, in the vague pleasure of having an omega melted in his arms, and the specific joy of having Bucky close. Bucky seems to ache for touch, starved for it, and again Steve finds himself wondering again how long it’s been since Bucky’s had regular, affectionate contact.

Eventually, though, Steve draws back, and Bucky takes the cue from him. Seized by a sudden impulse, Steve drags the wrist of the hand cupping Bucky’s head down his neck and across his collarbones, rubbing scent into the skin above the gland on his neck.

Bucky takes in a sharp breath, his eyes widening, body tensing, but then he suddenly goes lax, looks a little blissed out as he smiles at Steve.

"Okay?" Steve asks, wanting to make sure he didn't just majorly overstep, but Bucky just nods, and Steve can smell the contentment through his own scent mixing with Bucky's. He swallows heavily.

"Food now?" he asks before he can do something rash, like pull Bucky's shirt over his head so he can rub his own scent all over Bucky’s body.

“Food,” Bucky agrees, voice hoarse, and when Steve hops off the arm of the chair, Bucky trails after him, still looking a little punch-drunk.

“What are we making?” Bucky asks, leaning on the counter next to Steve.

“Well, I thought we could make curry, but if you don’t like that I also bought stuff to make pizza from scratch. Whichever one we don’t make is fine, I’ll make it later in the week or pawn it off on Sam and Riley.”

"I like curry, but to be perfectly honest, I've never had homemade pizza," Bucky says.

"Never... not even at a friend's house?" Steve asks, a little perplexed.

"Nope. I am aware that people make pizza at home, but pizza is one of those things you have when you're too lazy to cook, so it never really crossed my mind to make it at home," Bucky shrugs.

"Okay, we're doing that," Steve says decisively. "I'm not motivated enough to make the dough from scratch so it's from the store, but other than that we can go from basics."

Steve divides the dough into two portions and walks Bucky through the process of punching it down and rolling it out. Bucky takes to it zealously, flour all up his arms and on his face, and it makes Steve grin.

"I have red sauce, pesto sauce, garlic and olive oil, fresh mozzarella, shredded mozzarella, fresh tomatoes, pepperoni and onions. You can use whatever you'd like?" Steve offers, knowing full well he went overboard.

"Wow, you're really into pizza," Bucky says, eyebrows raised, but he thinks a little on his choices and reaches for the red sauce and the shredded mozzarella.

"Yes, but I also wasn't sure what you'd like, I wanted to make sure you had choices," Steve says and the big grin Bucky gives him makes him a little weak in the knees.

"Super considerate, even with pizza toppings," he says, but it comes out pleased rather than teasing.

Steve fixes his own pizza with the fresh mozzarella and pesto and tomatoes, and then helps Bucky get his onto a baking sheet. Bucky's laughing, leaning in and kissing Steve's cheek. "Thanks for the pizza lesson," he murmurs, nuzzling at him, as Steve puts the sheet pans in the oven.

"You're welcome," Steve grins and wraps his arms around Bucky when he straightens up. "I've set the timer as a reminder so we don't leave them in for too long, but we should have enough time to get cleaned up," he says and reaches up to wipe off some of the flour off of Bucky's cheek.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Bucky laughs. "Wouldn't wanna mess up your couch."

"Bathroom's this way," Steve says and leads Bucky down the hall. "Your shirt gonna be okay, or should I check if Sam has something you can borrow?"

Bucky glances down at his sweater, which has some flour clinging to the the sleeve, but most of it had ended up on his face or in his hair. “Nah, I’ll be okay,” Bucky says with a shake of his head, and Steve smiles shyly to himself as he turns away, letting Bucky shut the door.

He can hear the tap running when he goes back into the kitchen to start cleaning up the mess they made, and deliberately doesn’t wonder if Bucky pulled his sweater off or not, if he’s actually shirtless in Steve’s bathroom or not. Unfortunately, not thinking about that leaves him gathering up jars of sauces and thinking about how Bucky’s going to end up washing off all the scent Steve rubbed on him instead.

Oh well. Just an excuse to mark him again, Steve thinks to himself, with a little swoop of excitement in his stomach.

He's got everything cleaned up by the time Bucky comes back out, clean and a little rumpled looking.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to leave you with all the cleaning," he says, contrite, but Steve just shakes his head and walks over to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Don't worry about it, it didn't take long. You wanna go sit and find something for us to watch while I go get cleaned up real quick?"

“Sure,” Bucky agrees, and looks like he’s about to lean in for touch again but thinks better of it, turning instead towards the couch Sam and Riley had vacated earlier.

Steve washes up as quickly as possible, pausing only to scrub his hands through his hair and try to push it back off his forehead. But that works about as well as it ever does, so he gives up and heads back into the apartment proper. Bucky’s flicking absently through the channel guide, and Steve’s about to tell him he can pick a DVD if there’s nothing good on when the timer for the pizza goes off.

He turns on his heels and heads for the stove, calling out an "I got it!" to Bucky, but by the time he has the pizzas out, the other man has joined him.

"These look really good," he says, impressed and Steve raises an eyebrow.

"What? You thought they might not be?"

"Naw, I have absolute faith in your cooking abilities after that mac 'n' cheese," Bucky replies with a warm smile. It makes Steve melt a little.

“They need to cool a little,” Steve says regretfully, and Bucky pouts, which is too goddamn cute, and also distracting as hell with his full, pink lower lip. Seized by an idea, Steve hops up on the counter a few feet away from the cooling pizza, beckoning Bucky over. “C’mere,” he murmurs, and when Bucky steps up to him he lets his legs fall open so Bucky’s standing between his knees.

Like this he’s got a couple inches on Bucky, just enough so Bucky has to tilt his head up a little to meet his eye. Steve’s pretty used to being small, has been his whole life, but there’s something about having an omega look up at him like that, with hope and excitement and clear want, that makes the Alpha in him purr.

“Just a little,” he reminds Bucky, because it would be so easy to get carried away here, even with the smell of the pizza reminding them both how hungry they are. “Just wanna kiss you.”

"I always wanna kiss you," Bucky says and sways into him like Steve's a magnet and Bucky just can't resist. Steve leans in too and their lips slide together sweetly, almost innocently.

Bucky doesn't really smell like him anymore, but Steve can faintly smell the soap from his bathroom and gets hit with a deep longing for Bucky to stay. Stay here and smell like Steve and Steve's things always. He doesn't really think about it when he licks along Bucky's lower lip, but the small sound Bucky makes as he opens his mouth for him, hits him right at his core.

He's walking a thin line, he knows, but his hindbrain is locked on that sound and he wants more of it, so he brushes his fingers gently through Bucky's hair, settles his hand at the back of his neck so he can angle his face properly and deepen the kiss.

If Steve had though Bucky was eager for touch it’s nothing like the way he just melts into Steve, mouth open and inviting and warm, wet, sweet. Steve drags in a breath through his nose as he cups Bucky’s jaw, and it’s like being smacked upside the head with omega sweetness. It sends a flood of hot blood down his front, makes his dick twitch, and when he slides his tongue into Bucky’s mouth, slow and dirty, Bucky whimpers.

“God,” Steve breathes, sliding his hands down to cradle Bucky’s neck and draw him back. “We need to take it easy, I’m serious.”

“Uh huh,” Bucky agrees, but he’s not going anywhere, still pushing forward into Steve’s hands, one hand resting on Steve’s thigh. He’s by no means passive, but there’s something sweetly submissive about how he just goes where Steve puts him that reminds Steve how long it’s been since he’s been with an omega. His last few rut partners have all been betas and that had been years ago.

Steve leans his forehead against Bucky's and closes his eyes for a moment, needing to gather himself. He always takes great pride in not letting his alpha instincts rule over him, but it's hard when he's around Bucky. Part of it is definitely that he's an omega, but mostly it's just Bucky. Bucky who is so hungry for touch, who responds so sweetly to every move. Steve wants to give him what he craves, wants to make him feel good and show him how good it can be when it's not just about scratching an itch.

"You have no idea what you do to me," he murmurs.

"Think I have a pretty good idea," Bucky says, voice pitched low. "I can smell it on you, how much you want me."

“It’s more than that, though,” Steve says, drawing in a deep breath and smelling only Bucky, who’s own want sings through Steve’s blood. “You’re just… you’re so special. I need you to know how special you are,” he tries to explain, dragging one of his hands down from Bucky’s neck, across his collarbones (he’s so responsive he shivers as Steve’s hand drags over his scent gland) to rest over his chest, over his heart.

“I’m really not but if you want to go on thinking that I’m not going to stop you,” Bucky laughs, a little weakly, sounding choked up. That more than anything else is enough to break through the fog in Steve’s head, to make him draw Bucky close again, not to kiss him but to wrap his arms around Bucky and hold him close.

Bucky melts into the hug as easily as he had the kiss, arms around Steve’s low back, and chin resting on Steve’s shoulder. Hugging him is different like this, with the inch or two height advantage from the counter. He feels smaller, more vulnerable in Steve’s arms. “C’mon,” he says eventually into Bucky’s hair. “Pizza and movie, and if you’re good I’ll pet your hair.”

"I'm always good," Bucky says matter-of-factly, but moves away so Steve can hop off of the counter and cut up the pizzas. He hands Bucky the plates and gets a bottle of coke out of the fridge and grabs two glasses before following Bucky into the living room.

"So, what are we watching?" he asks as they get settled on the couch.

"There's not really much interesting on, so we basically have the choice between a rerun of the beginning of Game of Thrones or the Terminator."

“Terminator,” Steve says immediately, and when Bucky raises an eyebrow at the speed of his response, he shrugs. “I don’t feel like watching people be awful to each other. That show treats being a good person like a death sentence. Like goodness is some kind of invitation for horrible things to happen to you.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Bucky says, and there’s something odd in his voice, but he puts on the movie so Steve lets it go. The pizza is good, and Bucky seems to be enjoying it, judging by the happy little noises he’s making every couple minutes, which Steve can’t help but smile at.

So when, partway through the movie, Bucky says, “I don’t think I’ve known that many genuinely good people. At least in my adult life,” it startles Steve a little bit.

He puts down the last slice of his pizza and shifts a little on the couch, angling himself more towards Bucky before he replies.

"You've... only met horrible people?" he asks, because he's not sure how to reply to that otherwise.

"Not horrible, just... I don't know a lot of people who go out of their way to be nice. People always have an agenda or they're too busy to care about anyone but themselves. I've never met anyone who doesn't put themselves first," Bucky says, and it's so matter-of-fact, like it's normal for people to be selfish assholes.

Then, when he thinks about Bucky’s parents moving away and leaving their teenage son to fend for himself, and of the string of Alphas who’d ditch Bucky in a bar because someone hotter/better/younger came along, maybe it is normal for him. It makes cold settle in the pit of Steve’s stomach. “Can I touch you?” he asks, and when Bucky looks surprised, it only reinforces the point for Steve.

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees, and Steve reaches out for him, cradling both wrists in his hands, touching with as much comfort as he can muster in such a basic action. Touching against a wrist gland is less intimate, more an action between close friends, but he doesn’t know how to go for Bucky’s neck or start petting his hair without bringing this faster towards the physical than he wants.

“I’m so sorry,” he says sincerely, thumbs rubbing into Bucky’s skin. “You deserve to have good people in your life, you deserve kindness, and I am so sorry you’ve only known selfish people.”

"It's fine," Bucky shrugs, looking down into his lap. "I've managed so far."

Steve's heart breaks a little. Bucky sounds so resigned and his scent has dropped from happy to despondent and Steve can't help but scoot a little closer.

"You're special Bucky," he says softly. "I know you don't believe me, but you are. You're smart and funny and kind and you deserve good things. All those people in your life that let you down, they fucked up, you deserve better than that. Believe me."

“I’m working on it,” Bucky says, shy but sincere, looking earnestly at Steve. “I got so lucky meeting you, I don’t… I don’t think I’m gonna run into anyone else so kind just randomly.”

“Well,” Steve swallows, embarrassed and pleased at the same time. “I’ve got friends to share, I know good people I can introduce you too.” Bucky smiles, glancing up at Steve from under his lashes, and a strand of hair falls down across his forehead that Steve just has to brush away.

“Have I earned petting?” Bucky asks, lightly, probably aiming to break the sadness that settled over them, and Steve laughs. He pretends to think about it then says, “Oh alright,” and gestures Bucky close.

Bucky grabs a pillow from the end of the couch and places it in Steve's lap, laying his head on it a moment after. He looks up at Steve, eyebrows raised like he's asking if that's okay, and smiles when Steve rests one hand on Bucky's waist, the other settling in his hair.

"Comfortable?" Steve asks as he starts stroking through Bucky's hair.

"Very," Bucky replies as he turns back to the TV, snuggling down into the pillow.

While Bucky seems able to focus well enough on the TV, Steve’s having a hard time not getting distracted by the man under his hands. Eventually he just gives up and lets himself focus where he wants, on the soft, smooth texture of Bucky’s hair, the rhythm of his breath where Steve’s hand is on his side.

Steve’s never liked sex without closeness, even if it wasn’t romantic, especially never liked tying with someone he wasn’t close too. And he’s been able to find people over the years, dated occasionally, more often than not betas, but since he started nursing school he just hadn’t had the time to build that kind of relationship with anyone. So while he’s nowhere near as touch starved as Bucky is, he can’t remember the last time he had someone so relaxed and happy under his hands. It’s intoxicating.

The movie ends and Bucky doesn't move a muscle, so Steve bends down to ask if he wants to watch something else, but the words catch in his mouth when he notices Bucky's eyes are closed.

"'m not 'sleep," he mumbles as if he can read Steve's mind, but he doesn't look like he's intending to get up anytime soon either.

"Could've fooled me," Steve says fondly.

"I'm just really comfortable. 's nice when you play with my hair."

Steve smiles, rubbing his thumb along the soft skin behind Bucky’s ear. Bucky hums happily, turning to lay on his back instead, Steve’s hand coming to fall on his stomach, the other brushing hair off of Bucky’s forehead. He wants to praise again, tell Bucky how sweet he is, how much Steve likes having him there, but he doesn’t want to over-do it.

He’s derailed from his train of thought when Bucky asks, “When was your last rut?” He still looks relaxed and sleepy, just sounds curious, so Steve keeps petting him.

“About a month and a half ago?” Steve answers honestly. “I’m months away from the next.”

“I’m about two months away,” Bucky admits, looking guilty, and Steve wonders who he spent his last heat with. Someone who didn’t deserve him, he thinks viciously, and then stamps down the possessive jealousy before it can take hold.

"Are you trying to ask if I want to spend your heat with you?" Steve asks, because he can't think of another reason why Bucky is bringing this up now.

"Kind of? I know you don't want us to go there too soon, and I respect that. I'll understand if you think in two months it'll still be too soon, but I was just wondering," Bucky replies, his eyes looking anywhere but at Steve. "I usually... I told you about Frank and I don't tend to have a shortage of offers once I go into pre-heat. I'm not... I don't like to go with strangers anymore, but I don't tend to spend my heats alone," he finishes quietly. "I will, if that's what you want, but if that's the case, I'd just like to know so I can be ready."

“You’d do that?” Steve wonders. “After three dates, you’d go through heat alone if I asked you to?”

“Yeah,” Bucky says quietly, and Steve thinks about everything he knows about heats, about how painful they can get sometimes. He doesn’t know if not having gone through a heat alone in the past would make it better or worse, if Bucky’ll be wholly unprepared to deal with it, or if his body won’t be as desperate because he’d completed the heat last time.

Two months is less time than Steve usually likes to spend getting to know someone before he ties with them, but Bucky’s different. Everything about Bucky has always been different. “I don’t think I could know you were in pain and not go to you,” he admits quietly. “I don’t see that being less true two months from now.”

Bucky smiles at him, though he still looks nervous, and Steve rubs at his stomach lightly, hoping to ease some of the tension.

"I know it's a little soon to be asking you this and I know this- whatever we have, might be over before my heat comes around," Bucky says, his voice wavering. "I just- No one's been interested in me before. Not like you are. No one's wanted to just spend time with me. And I meant it when I said I'd go it alone if you think it's too soon. I like you Steve and I really- You're different. This is different. It feels like it matters and I don't want to ruin it because of something my body needs that's out of my control."

“It is different,” Steve agrees, curling his fingers into the strands of Bucky’s hair. Different for all kinds of reasons, because Steve’s never been needed quite the way Bucky needs him, because he’s never felt so drawn to someone, so connected to them so quickly, because he already feels a tug towards Bucky that it usually takes him months to develop. It’s different, quite frankly, because he’s older now than when he used to go looking for rut partners, and trusts himself more. It’s different because Bucky’s scent has crawled into his brain and taken root.

He thinks about Bucky bringing him lunch just because he can, falling asleep on him at the movies, texting him when he’s bored in class. He thinks about Bucky telling him about the fantasies he’d had as a kid, of an Alpha from an old Hollywood film just looking at him and knowing he was meant to be theirs. “I want to spare you pain if I can,” he says eventually, leaning down to kiss Bucky’s forehead, rest his own against it for a moment.

One of Bucky's hands comes up to tangle in his hair, keeps him there.

"Okay," Bucky says quietly, accepting, and when Steve pulls away there's a small smile playing on his lips.

"Anything else on your mind?" Steve asks, his hand gently scritching at Bucky's scalp, the other still rubbing circles on his stomach.

"No, I've got the answers I need," Bucky says and stretches out like a cat under Steve's ministrations, his back bowing in a graceful manner that Steve can't help but follow with his eyes. "Is there anything you want to ask? Since we're being all open and honest and all," Bucky says in a slightly teasing tone, the one Steve's learning he always goes to after a serious moment.

There’s a lot of things Steve could ask, things that other people might even call his ‘right’ to know, like how many other Alphas Bucky’s been with before. He doesn’t care about that, really doesn’t, of course Bucky would have had a life before he met Steve. There’s just one thing, one thing he feels like he should know, if he’s even going to consider going through a heat with Bucky so soon, so he knows how to treat him. How to take care of him, and not end up making something worse.

He deliberates over phrasing for a while before deciding straightforward is probably best. “Has someone ever used your heat as an excuse to make you sleep with them? When you didn’t want to?”

The smile falls off of Bucky's face as soon as the question leaves Steve's mouth, and he's got his answer before Bucky even speaks.

"Once," he says quietly, turning his head to the side, and Steve fights to keep calm, to keep up his soothing touches. "There was this guy a few years back. Brock. I met him through some people I worked with at the time. I wasn't near a heat yet and he seemed interested. It wasn't exactly a relationship, we hung out and we fooled around and it was nice, I thought it was going somewhere, so when my heat did come, I didn't hesitate to spend it with him. Only he dropped me like a hot potato as soon as it was over. Practically disappeared out of my life," he says and pauses to take a deep breath.

"I felt like an idiot. It wouldn't have been so bad if it was clear he only hung around to fuck an omega in heat. I was used to that. It took me awhile to get over it, but the asshole showed up again when I was nearing my next heat, trying to win me over by reminding me how much fun we had last time. I told him to fuck off, but he knew where I lived at the time. Knew where to hang around so he could get me alone and lucky for him my heat started when I was still at work," he gets out, his voice level only because he's clearly trying hard to keep it that way.

“Buck,” Steve says, heartbroken, not even sure how to offer comfort for this. “God, I’m so sorry.”

Bucky shrugs weakly, rolling onto his side so he can hide his face against Steve’s stomach. “It was a while ago,” he says weakly, like that somehow makes it less awful.

Anger and helplessness and yes, possessive protectiveness zing through Steve and he hugs Bucky close. He wants to promise that he won’t let it happen again, wants to bear his teeth and hiss at another alpha coming near Bucky right now. That’s not who he is, though, eager to jump into a fight to protect someone sure, but never possessive.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you,” Steve all but whispers, running a comforting hand through Bucky’s hair. 

“Not your fault,” Bucky mumbles. His scent is melancholy, but he sighs, sitting up and giving Steve a weak smile. “I really do try not to dwell on it. I’ve had to keep going, and I think I’ve gotten pretty good at it. I can take care of myself most of the time, I just sometimes– hit blocks in my own head? So. Now you know.”

“Now I know,” Steve agrees, taking Bucky’s hand in his and squeezing fondly. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you for making me feel like I can,” Bucky says shyly, tucking his hair behind his ear in a nervous gesture. Steve smiles, kissing the tip of his nose, his cheek, then the corner of his mouth.

“Do you want to watch something else?” he asks, sensing that Bucky’s quite ready to be done talking about this. “I know it’s a little late, but we can do another movie and you can take an Uber home or something.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Bucky agrees, curling into Steve’s side. Steve smiles, kissing his hair, and reaches for the remote.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple of hours into Steve’s shift at the hospital, there’s an incident in his wing.

A few days later, a couple of hours into Steve’s morning shift at the postoperative care ward, there’s an incident in his wing. One of the recovering patients in Steve’s rotation is an omega who unexpectedly goes into heat. It’s not an unusual occurrence, as stress tends to mess up cycles a bit, so there are contingencies in case something like this happens. The patient gets transferred to a private room and would usually get assigned a beta nurse to take care of them. 

The only beta nurse assigned to their shift this particular morning had been called up to pediatrics, and they’d let her go because things had been running pretty slow. Which leaves one brand new omega nurse, who looks like he might start crying if he’s dumped into this hormone pool, an alpha who takes one look into the room and walks right back out again, and.... Steve.

He’s wearing the scent masker anyway and he doesn’t look like an Alpha, so he figures it won’t be a problem. And it isn’t, for the patient, but Steve isn’t as resistant to the scent the omega is giving off as he’d like to be, even if he has no interest in them whatsoever.

It’s a long, torturous shift and by the time he’s even half way through it, he realizes he can’t go meet Bucky for dinner like this. He’s going to have to text him and cancel their plans. 

Bucky's understably concerned, Steve’s never canceled on him before, and never at such short notice. He’s insistent in asking what's wrong and if Steve needs help. Steve has all kinds of images in his head about all the ways Bucky could help, but he gets a hold of himself and just tells him that something came up at work and that he'll see Bucky the next day. It doesn't really help when Bucky sends a sad emoji face but tells him he understands.

The thing is though, Steve knows that Bucky's used to Alphas flaking on him. And Steve's trying so hard to focus on something other than the cloying sweetness of heat that he sort of ends up in this guilt cycle of being just another hormone driven Alpha who can't take care of Bucky the way he deserves. It works as a distraction, alright, but it also leaves him in this weird state of distress and arousal.

He asks Sam for advice, who is entirely unhelpful, because all he does is give Steve a look and say: "Have you considered being honest? Telling him what's really up?"

Steve gives him a look of his own, because he can't tell Bucky he's no better than all the other Alphas Bucky knows. As more time passes he only feels worse and he can't leave work, that would be unprofessional and completely unfair to the omega in his care, but he's not sure what else to do other than maybe consider taking Sam's advice.

It's one of the longest shifts of his professional life. It does occur to him that it would have been so much harder to get through the day a month ago, before he met Bucky. At least now he has another omega, who has some passing association with the label of 'his', to focus his attention on. He can channel the need to care for into his patient, and the need to protect into Bucky. Even if in this case 'protect' means avoid.

Riley gives him a wide berth when he gets home from the hospital, as if Steve is the one on cycle, and he assumes that means Sam read him in. Steve is proud, honestly, of how long he's lived with the other Alpha. But a lot of that can be attributed to them both understanding the meaning behind alpha aggression and how to avoid it.

He gets in the shower, hoping that washing off the omega's scent will help him calm down, but the scent has done the damage already. It's not enough to trigger a sympathy rut in him, but the arousal is still going strong and he doesn't feel any more settled after he jerks off either.

There's dinner waiting for him in the oven and he makes a note to thank Riley when he's more himself again. He takes the food into his room and scarfs it down without tasting much of it and then settles on his bed. His phone is on his nightstand and he can't help but sneak longing glances at it, wishing he could call Bucky.

It's like fucking magical thinking, because he's staring right at the thing when the screen lights up with a text message, and he grabs it before he can talk himself out of it.

_Hope you're doing all right. Are you still stuck at the hospital? I can swing by with takeout for you if you are._

Steve grinds his teeth against the throb of arousal, because his omega is so fucking _sweet_. Not his, he reminds himself forcefully. The omega he's courting, maybe, but not his.

He stares at the screen for a while and then decides that Sam was probably right. Bucky has had enough people in his life who have treated him badly, and he deserves the truth from Steve.

_No, I'm home, but you shouldn't come by. I had an omega in heat on my floor today and there was no one else who could look after them. I didn't react well =/ I didn't do anything, I promise, but it definitely affected me. That's why I canceled on you earlier._

He presses send and then follows it up with another text. _Sorry I didn't tell you right away, I just, wasn't really proud of myself for letting it affect me like this._

He's chewing on his lip, overthinking everything, when Bucky's response comes.

_I wouldn't have thought you did anything. I trust you. Are you okay? Are you going into rut?_

_No, I'm just wired_ Steve sends back quickly, touched by Bucky's faith in him. _Fuck or fight instinct, you know? Riley's avoiding me._ he tries to joke.

The next text is instantaneous. _Gotta get away from the big bad alpha :P_ Bucky writes. _You gonna be okay by yourself? ___

__He can read what Bucky really wants to say, and as much as he wishes Bucky were here with him, even everything else aside, he'd hate for their first time together to happen because he got riled up by another omega._ _

___Yeah I'll be fine, just gotta ride it out. They gave me a day off tomorrow, so should be a long night, but I'll survive._ _ _

___Just you and your hand, huh? ;)_ _ _

___we're old familiar friends_ he jokes, shifting restlessly on the bed as he starts to get hard again. Fucking hormones._ _

___you could tell me about it?_ Bucky's next text reads, and Steve stares at it for a minute, sure he's misunderstanding._ _

___not texting though, I don't have that level of multitasking ability_ comes another reply, and then another in short order. _if you want? I know I'm already pushing you faster than you usually go.__ _

__Steve bites his lip and considers what Bucky's offering. Normally he'd be against it, but he's hard and he's been feeling on edge and like a mess all day. And it's not like they're really crossing any of his hard lines, it's just talking, no actual touching (and he feels a pang there, knowing that Bucky's not here)._ _

__He finds Bucky's number and presses the call button before he can overthink it and he's not really prepared for Bucky to pick up only after two rings._ _

__"Hi," Bucky greets him and he sounds shy, despite the fact that he's the one who suggested this, and Steve's heart flip flops._ _

__"Hi," Steve replies, making himself fist his hand in the blanket near his hip. He refuses to grab his dick just because he's hearing Bucky's voice. "Are you sure about this?"_ _

__"Are you?" Bucky asks, and he's teasing but Steve knows he's also being completely serious. "Because if we were going at the rate of what I'm comfortable with, I would have definitely at least sucked your dick by now."_ _

__"Shit," Steve swears, hips snapping up off the bed at the mental image of Bucky between his legs, sweet pink lips stretched wide around him, fist around his knot._ _

__"You like that, huh?" Bucky asks, continues before Steve even has a chance to reply. "Like the idea of me on my knees for you, your big cock in my mouth."_ _

__"Jesus Christ, Bucky," Steve swears and his hand is on his cock before he's even thought about it, rubbing over the distinct bulge in his sweat pants._ _

__"I like giving head you know," Bucky continues. "Not with everyone, but if I really like them, I get really into it. Want to be good for them. And I really want to be good for you Steve."_ _

__"God, you already are," Steve pants, and Bucky makes a happy sound that doesn't seem put on for Steve's benefit at all. Steve chases that thread. "You're so sweet, you're so good to me, so good for me."_ _

__"Can make you feel good," Bucky says, breathy, and Steve wonders if he's hard, if he's _wet_ , hell. "Open up so nice for you, let you get your whole cock in my mouth, tie behind my teeth with your dick down my throat."_ _

__"You'd take it all, wouldn't you?" Steve says, rubbing at the head of his cock through his pants, a wet patch already forming, but he doesn't wanna touch skin yet, doesn't want this to be over too soon. "Let me come down your throat, lap it all up."_ _

__"I bet you taste good," Bucky says, a hitch in his voice, and it goes straight to Steve's cock, the sound and the realisation that Bucky is definitely touching himself too._ _

__“Bet you do too,” Steve counters, and he imagines it, pushing Bucky over into perfect presentation position, spreading his ass open and seeing him all slick and winking open, leaning forward to lap it up. “Bet you taste fucking amazing when you’re wet.”_ _

__Bucky lets out a sweet little whine, and it’s killing Steve to not be able to see his face. “You’d do that? Even though it’s not for you?”_ _

__“Hell yeah, I would,” Steve says defiantly. “I like making my omegas feel good too, it’s not a one-sided exchange.”_ _

__Bucky makes a soft little noise and Steve can hear some clicking and shuffling, worries for a second that they got cut off, but then Bucky is back, clearly out of breath._ _

__"Sorry, sorry, had to put you on speaker, had to move, can't get my fingers deep enough if I'm on my back," he pants and Steve nearly goes cross-eyed._ _

__"It's okay baby, you good now? You feeling good?" he asks and takes the moment to shimmy out of his sweatpants._ _

__“Yeah,” Bucky says with a soft laugh, “Yeah, Steve, feeling pretty good.” He sounds teasing, happy, still sweetly submissive, but not thoughtlessly so. He’s having fun, Steve realizes, and that sends a spark of arousal through him. He likes being able to make his partners laugh during sex._ _

__“How many fingers?” Steve asks, curious, and Bucky lets out a breathy sigh._ _

__“Two,” he says, and punctuates it with another sweet sound. “Just two right now. Should I put in another?”_ _

__"Yeah, yeah add another, but be careful, go slow, don't want you to hurt yourself," Steve says and wraps his fingers around his cock, stroking down slowly, and he has to bite back a moan at how good it feels._ _

__Bucky huffs softly. "Not gonna h-hurt myself, I'm so wet, so ready for you," he moans and now that he's on speaker phone, Steve can hear it. It's faint, but he can hear the wet glide of Bucky's fingers as he pumps them in and out of his hole._ _

__"So eager, you want me bad, huh?" Steve says, can feel himself grow even harder at the thought. "I'd still take my time with you, make sure you were nice and loose, let you come on my fingers and tongue first before I give you my cock. "_ _

__“Fuck,” Bucky swears, and Steve wonders if he slid another finger in, is about to ask when Bucky starts talking again. “What if I want you in me more than I want to come? Gets like that sometimes, gets like I want the knot more than to come myself. Sometimes I just wanna be full, Steve, if I’m being honest.”_ _

__“Oh, _hell_ ,” Steve mutters, fucking up into his fist. “What if I want you to come on my knot?” he asks, and he can hear Bucky’s needy whine, the way the rhythm of his fingers speeds up._ _

__“Gotta give it to me first. Can I have it, Steve? Can I have your knot?”_ _

__"Yeah, yeah. You're being so good, how could I not?" Steve pants. "I'd slide in slow, but you're so ready for me, I don't have to be careful, do I? I can just slide right in to the hilt, fill you up."_ _

__"Mmn, I love that first stretch," Bucky moans, like it's actually happening, and Steve's going steady now, fucking up into his fist in approximation to how he'd do it to Bucky. "You don't have to go slow. You don't have to give me time to adjust, you can just go for it, fuck me like you mean it."_ _

__The words send a spark though Steve's body, but even in the haze of lust there's a flicker of worry. Steve likes it hard and rough, when the mood is right and when he knows both he and his partner are into it, but he's not entirely sure it's what Bucky wants, if it's not just the only thing he's used to._ _

__“What if I want to go slow?” Steve asks, and Bucky lets out a little broken sob._ _

__“Please,” Bucky begs, and Steve can picture him so clearly in his mind. “Please don’t make me wait.”_ _

__“What if I want to, though? What if I want to take my time and open you up so slow on my dick that it drives you crazy?”_ _

__“Wanna be good for you,” Bucky pleads, starting to slur a little. “I’ll be good for you, I promise I will.”_ _

__“I know,” Steve coos, and this is getting to him, so help him it’s getting to him. He wants both, he wants to be rough and fuck Bucky open until he’s mewling, and to be slow and sweet and worshipful. “I know you will. You always are.”_ _

__"You close Steve?" Bucky chokes out and by the wet sounds he can hear, he guesses Bucky is, speeds up his own pace so he matches Bucky's. "Don't wanna come if you're not."_ _

__"Shh, don't worry about me baby. I'm close too, but want you to lose it first. My knot's almost full, enough that it catches on every thrust, I'm not going slow anymore, because you feel too good and I can't help myself," he breathes, trapping the phone between his ear and shoulder so he can reach down with his other hand and cup his slowly forming knot._ _

__"Fuck, Steve, I want it, I want it all, wanna be full," Bucky whines._ _

__"Just a little more baby, just gotta wait a bit more. Are you touching your cock too baby, do you need the extra help? Or can you come just from this?"_ _

__“I can come on a knot,” Bucky says, and then lets out a little laugh, pained. “I don’t actually have a knot to come on right now, though, so I’m gonna have to touch my cock.”_ _

__“Do it,” Steve instructs, massaging the swell of the knot with his left hand, letting his body bow with the pleasure of it. “Bet you’re cock’s as pretty as the rest of you, huh? All sweet and slim and smooth. You ever fuck someone, baby? Put that pretty cock in someone?”_ _

__“Once,” Bucky admits. “A beta. It was nice but I like it better the other way.”_ _

__“Yeah,” Steve says, gently, and hears the words leave his mouth before he even thinks about it, might not have said it if he had. “It’s what you were built for.”_ _

__Bucky lets out a shocked little sound, and comes._ _

__Steve listens to Bucky come apart on the other side and grips his knot a little tighter as he races to the finish, his hips snapping up into his hand hard and fast. He's got Bucky panting softly in his ear, spent and sated, as he comes too, spilling over both of his hands, still cradling his knot. He's made a mess, but he can't bring himself to care too much about it._ _

__They just breathe at each other for a moment and, even though Steve wishes he weren't alone, could curl himself around Bucky now and kiss him, he feels more settled than he has all day._ _

__"You okay?" Bucky finally asks and Steve can't help but smile._ _

__"Yeah, better than okay. Feel like myself again. How about you?” he asks, and Bucky makes a pleased little sound._ _

__“Goo-ood,” he sing-songs, long and drawn out. “Little lonely. It’ll be better when you’re here to cuddle me up.”_ _

__“Play with your hair,” Steve says, feeling a little sleepy, a little floaty. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you angle for that every time I’m within arm's reach of you.”_ _

__“I’m kind of a slut for having my hair played with,” Bucky jokes, lightly, but it’s enough to wash Steve’s sleepy afterglow away as he remembers what he’d said, what had ultimately made Bucky come._ _

__“I don’t… I didn’t mean what I said, you know?”_ _

__“I hope you meant some of it, or this whole thing is gonna be embarrassing later on,” Bucky says lightly, and Steve frowns._ _

__"I mean, the thing I said right before you came. It was in the heat of the moment, I don't think of you that way," he says seriously, because it really wasn't appropriate._ _

__"You mean the thing about me being made to be fucked? It's fine Steve, it was hot, made me shoot off, didn't it?" Bucky says and he sounds wholly unconcerned, Steve's not sure what to make of it._ _

__"Yeah, but... that's not- you're an omega, sure, but that's not your only purpose."_ _

__Bucky, of all things, laughs at him. "Steve, I really appreciate that you're trying to comfort me here, but it really was hot. You're a good guy, you've proven that you want me for more than just my body, I know you don't see me that way. But I liked hearing it. From you."_ _

__“If you’re sure,” Steve starts, but Bucky cuts him off._ _

__“Steve, part of respecting me is respecting my right to consent to what I want. I’m telling you that I liked it, and if you can’t trust I mean what I say then we’re gonna have a problem here.”_ _

__Bucky’s voice is hard, inconsistent with the warmth of afterglow, and Steve swallows. “I trust you,” Steve promises, then laughs a little. “I think I freaked myself out more than you.”_ _

__“This isn’t how you usually are with other people?”_ _

__"I try not to be," Steve confesses. "I take pride in not being lead by my urges. I never want to be that guy, the domineering alpha type. And I guess part of me is trying too hard not to be like that with you."_ _

__"What do you mean?" Bucky asks._ _

__"Just... I'm used to being with betas. It wasn't entirely intentional, but I guess part of me gravitated to them for some reason. I haven't been with an omega in a while, so sometimes I have to reign myself in with you. And I don't- after what you told me, I don't want to do anything that would make you think I'm just like the rest of the alphas you were with," he says softly._ _

__“I don’t think that,” Bucky says, honest. “I never did. I’m not saying I wouldn’t have come this far with you if you were, because obviously I have before. I probably would again, if you were…. another Frank, or Brock, or whatever. But you’re not.”_ _

__“I try not to be,” Steve starts and Bucky’s sigh cuts him off._ _

__“You’re not, Steve, you’re not. You’re fundamentally different, believe me. I’ve been around Alphas like them my whole life. Trust me when I say you’re different. If you’re holding back on me now, what are we going to do during my heat? You won’t be able to hold back then.”_ _

__Steve bites his lip, but he has to admit that Bucky has a point. "You're right. I won't be able to control anything then. I guess I just got it into my head that I need to be perfect around you and that's not good either."_ _

__"Steve, I don't need you to be perfect. I appreciate that you're trying for me, but you don't need to treat me with kid gloves. I know I've made some bad choices in the past, but this isn't going to work if you don't respect and trust me enough to be real with me," Bucky says and Steve swallows heavily._ _

__"I know. I'm sorry."_ _

__They’re silent for a few more beats, and then Bucky says, a little off-hand. “It’s nice of you to try, though? I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I like that you want to take care of me, just… don’t do it at the cost of being yourself. That’s not doing either of us any favors.”_ _

__“Deal,” Steve smiles, and then lets out a sigh, swallowing heavily. “I wish you were here.”_ _

__“Well, that is your own fault. You decided to cancel on me,” Bucky points out, and Steve laughs. “How much of that was you not being ready, and how much was you thinking you were protecting me?”_ _

__"It was more about me wanting to protect you," Steve admits. "It still felt too soon, but I was really bad off when the scent first hit me and I didn't want to put it on you. Didn't want you to feel obligated to have sex with me because I was hopped up on some other omega's scent. Especially because it was another omega's scent."_ _

__"That's really noble of you, but I really wouldn't have minded,"_ _

__"Bucky-"_ _

__"No really. I know it probably felt sleazy, getting turned on by someone else and then working it off with me, but you didn't do it on purpose. It's not like you were out in a bar somewhere intentionally looking for an omega in heat. It was your job to take care of that omega and I wouldn't have felt weird or used if you had come to me to help you work it off after. It's like you said when we talked about my heat, I wouldn't have wanted you to suffer if I could help."_ _

__“I also didn’t want our first time to be like this,” Steve admits. “And that was for me. Call it romantic.”_ _

__“I’ve been getting that vibe from you,” Bucky teases, and then more seriously. “It’s nice.”_ _

__“We’re still on for tomorrow?” Steve asks, rolling over onto his side and imagining, just for a minute, that Bucky’s here._ _

__"Yeah. I've got a class at eleven, but I'm free all day after. You've got the day off right?" Bucky asks._ _

__"Yeah. They're gonna have more beta nurses on call and they wanted me to have enough time to get back to normal. But that's taken care of now."_ _

__"I'm glad I could help," Bucky says, sounding smug. "But okay, since we both have most of the day off, we could meet up after my class is done. Have lunch and hang out. You wanna go somewhere or do you wanna come to my place? Or me come over to yours?"_ _

__“I don’t really care,” Steve says . “I’m happy to see you. But unless you want to hang out with my roommates, your place is much more private.”_ _

__“I like your roommates, but I think I’d rather just spend time with you,” Bucky admits, and then after a beat, adds softly. “I want you to hold me.”_ _

__“Soon,” Steve promises. “I’ll meet you after your class, we can get food and take it back to your place.”_ _

__"That sounds good," Bucky says and Steve can tell he's smiling even through the phone. "I'd love to keep talking, but I should probably go and clean up before everything dries up and becomes an even bigger mess," he says regretfully and Steve winces, remembering his own mess._ _

__"Yeah, I should clean up too. Thanks for this. I know it's not a thing you thank someone for, but I'm glad it turned out the way it did. I'd probably still have my head up my ass and be miserable if you hadn't suggested it."_ _

__"You are very welcome, Steve," Bucky chuckles. "And I wouldn't mind a repeat performance even if it's not an emergency."_ _

__“Me too,” Steve agrees. “But no pressure. I’m not going to jump you the minute we get in the door.”_ _

__“I know,” Bucky says warmly. “Go get cleaned up, Steve. I’ll see you tomorrow.”_ _

__“Bye baby,” Steve murmurs, and Bucky hums happily, and hangs up. Steve lies in bed after the click of the speaker shuts off, letting himself imagine Bucky’s smile for a minute. Then, with a sigh, makes himself roll off the bed and go to clean up._ _

_______ _

__Steve ends up waiting for Bucky on campus, and he’d actually had the time to get dressed that morning, not just throw on clothes after scrubbing down after work. So he’s wearing slim cut corduroys and Doc Martens and a button up with his sleeves rolled up, hair swept to the side off his forehead. He knows it just dodges the line of “old man” into “hipster chic” and he’d anticipated it being a little weird, but Bucky just looks kind of knocked sideways when he catches sight of Steve._ _

__"Is today special or something?" he asks, his eyes slowly raking over Steve, top to bottom, and Steve ducks his head, a little embarrassed._ _

__"No not really, I just actually had time to get dressed for a change," he shrugs._ _

__"You've been holding out on me Steve," Bucky says appreciatively. "Not that you don't always look good, but damn."_ _

__“Gotta make the most of the day off,” Steve says cheerfully, hopping down off the low wall he’s sitting on, holding out his hand in an offer Bucky takes him up on immediately._ _

__“You feeling better?” Bucky asks, as they stroll towards the subway stop, giving Steve a sideways glance that’s almost teasing._ _

__“Yeah,” Steve agrees, tugging Bucky towards him and stopping long enough to go up on his toes to press a kiss to Bucky’s cheek. “Thanks to you.”_ _

__Bucky glows under the praise, and Steve bites his lip, happy. He doesn’t regret deciding to move slowly, get to know each other, but he thinks Bucky’s right that holding back his instincts hasn’t been doing them any favors either._ _

__"There's a Chinese place and an Italian restaurant on the way from my stop to my place, if you wanted to get something to eat on the way?" Bucky suggests._ _

__"I could go for an egg roll," Steve nods and Bucky smiles._ _

__"Good choice, I was leaning towards Chinese too," he says with a grin._ _

__"How was class?" Steve asks and Bucky goes into a detailed explanation of his neurolinguistics lecture that lasts them almost the entire train ride._ _

__"I'm still ways away from having to decide, but I started out in this program thinking I was likely to end up as a teacher or something, but now I'm not so sure. I just find it really interesting how the brain works," Bucky says, his whole face lit up in excitement._ _

__Steve grins at him. “That’s great, Buck. There’s a speech pathologist at my hospital I could introduce you to, maybe you could meet her some time, get a feel for how things like that pan out outside school?”_ _

__Inexplicably, Bucky blushes, and Steve grins, tugging on his hand a little. “That’d be really cool.”_ _

__The Chinese place by Bucky’s condo is fast for take-out, so they get in and out of there pretty quickly. Steve ends up having to drop Bucky’s hand so he can carry the bag of food, and it’s not too long a walk but Steve misses the warmth of Bucky’s hand in his._ _

__Bucky's apartment is still as nice and put together as it was last time when they walk in. The last time he was here, Steve assumed Bucky had cleaned because he knew Steve was coming over for dinner, but now he's pretty certain that Bucky's always this neat._ _

__"You can take the food to the living room, I'll go grab us something to drink," Bucky says as he puts his backpack and jacket away._ _

__"You sure? I don't wanna mess up your nice couch," Steve says a little warily._ _

__“It’s fine, I eat there all the time,” Bucky says dismissively. “Sitting at the dining room table by yourself kind of sucks, ya know?”_ _

__“Chopsticks and I aren’t the best of friends,” Steve says warily, glancing back at Bucky, who raises and eyebrow and then raises a fork. Steve laughs. “Yeah, okay, that’ll work.”_ _

__They settle down onto the couch, knees bumping companionably, and Steve spears a piece of chicken on his fork. “Your place is really nice,” Steve says, glancing around at the exposed brickwork and the hardwood floors, the big bay windows and the wide open floor plan. The whole building seems newly renovated, part of the Flatbush gentrification that’s starting to push into Steve’s area of Bed-Stuy. “How’d you get it, places like this never open up.”_ _

__Bucky pauses with his own fork halfway to his mouth and gives Steve a considering look. "They do if you've got enough money," he says before he takes a bite of his food._ _

__"Yeah?" Steve says, not entirely sure how to take that._ _

__"Yeah," Bucky shrugs. "You come into the realtors office and have a big budget, they show you lots of things they don't show other people."_ _

__"And you had a big budget," Steve says, trying to wrap his head around it. Bucky hasn't mentioned a job and he goes to school full time. Steve hasn't really given it much thought until now, but now that he is, something feels off. Full time classes and an amazing condo, but no job. It doesn't add up._ _

__"I've got money," Bucky shrugs noncommittally._ _

__“Oh,” he says, put off, and suddenly a little self conscious. His apartment is nice enough, but it’s pretty much the same size as Bucky’s and there’s three of them living in it. He and Sam could never have afforded it without Riley pitching in too, and even then on lean months he feels the strain on top of his student loans._ _

__Bucky’s quiet, pointing a hundred yard stare down into his beef and broccoli, and Steve wonders if he over-stepped somewhere. Money’s never a fun topic. Given Bucky’s history with his family, his financial situation could be really weird._ _

__Then Bucky swallows and takes a deep breath. “I was in an accident a couple years ago. A couple months after Brock. I got a good settlement.”_ _

__"Oh. _Oh_ ," Steve manages and immediately feels like a heel. He couldn't have known, but he still totally stepped in it and he hates the way Bucky's hunching in on himself now. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"_ _

__"No, it's okay. It would've come up sooner or later, one way or another. It's pretty obvious that I don't have a job," Bucky says, avoiding Steve's gaze._ _

__"I'm still sorry. You don't have to tell me any more if you don't want," Steve says softly, wanting to reach out, but not sure if his touch would be welcome._ _

__"There's not really much to tell," Bucky shrugs._ _

__“That’s okay,” Steve says, resting his hand tentatively on Bucky’s knee, and then when he doesn’t pull away, rubs with his thumb a little. “Are you alright?”_ _

__“Yeah, my arm got fucked up pretty bad. But it’s been years and I’ve got most of the full range of motion back. Just scars now.”_ _

__“That’s good,” Steve says gently, rubbing Bucky’s knee more firmly. “I meant emotionally though. Are you okay, now, here?”_ _

__“Yeah,” Bucky laughs wetly, leaning into Steve’s side. “Yeah, I’m alright. I don’t like to talk about it because it’s not exactly… a good memory? But it would have come up, if you’re planning on getting my shirt off at some point.”_ _

__"I am, absolutely," Steve smiles, because if Bucky's willing to try for a lighter mood, so is he. "But, if you ever feel uncomfortable, dressed or undressed, you let me know okay?" he says and drapes his arm around Bucky's shoulders._ _

__"Okay," Bucky says softly._ _

__"And if you ever decide you do want to talk about it, I'm here," Steve offers and Bucky just snuggles closer into his side, the food momentarily forgotten._ _

__"I missed this last night," he mumbles._ _

__“Me too,” Steve admits, setting aside his carton of food to angle his body, turning so he can slide his fingers into Bucky’s hair. Bucky’s scent spikes, happy, and Steve draws in a deep breath of it. He scratches his fingers lightly over Bucky’s scalp and he practically purrs._ _

__“You can totally do that forever if you want,” Bucky says dreamily, and Steve smiles, kissing his temple._ _

__“Your food is getting cold,” Steve points, and Bucky grunts, nosing at Steve’s neck. But then he sighs, pulling back to go for his food again._ _


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has a bad day, and they take another step forward.

They fall into a rhythm of easy contact, calling and texting each other whenever they can’t find an excuse to get together in person. Which means he’s not exactly surprised whenever he checks his phone during breaks at the hospital to find a message from Bucky, but it still makes his stomach swoop happily, his heart do an excited little wiggle. Half the time it’s a picture of a dog, or something funny someone in class said, or a random meme that made Bucky laugh. Steve loves it, loves feeling included in Bucky’s life, loves that he’s in the other man’s thoughts.

So, while having a message from Bucky waiting for him isn’t exactly unusual, it’s rare for it to be something along the lines of _are you busy tonight, can you call me?_

Which he does, as soon as he gets a break. Bucky picks up promptly, and he sounds tired when he says, “Hey, sorry for bothering you.”

“You’re not bothering me,” Steve assures him. “I’m at the hospital now, though, in answer to your question.”

“Oh,” Bucky says, and there’s something off in his voice, something oddly defeated. “I think I knew that, I was just. If you were out, I was gonna say maybe we could do something– but it doesn’t matter, it’s fine.”

"Is everything okay Buck? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want, but you sound off," Steve asks, concerned.

"I- no, not really," Bucky admits. "I had a presentation in class today and this professor is such a complete tool to all the omegas in class. I was up late preparing for this because I knew he was gonna be nitpicky, and then I didn't sleep well and it was a disaster anyway," he sighs and Steve wishes he could reach through the phone and hug him.

"I'm so sorry to hear that Bucky," he says softly. "I still have two hours until my shift is over, but I can come by after?"

“I don’t want to be a bother,” Bucky hedges again, sounding guilty.

“It’s no bother,” Steve rushes to assure him. He’s hiding in the break room, phone squished between his face and shoulder while he desperately makes himself some coffee, the 10 hour shift starting to wear on him. “I’m not sure how much excitement I’ll be up for tonight, because once I sit down I might not stand up again, but if I can help in any way I want to.”

The ‘I want to take care of you’ is left unsaid, hanging in the air like a tease, and Steve bites his lip, waiting for Bucky’s reply. “Yeah, I’d- I’d like you see you,” he admits.

"I'd like to see you too," Steve says softly. "I'm gonna have to run home to shower before I get to yours, so I can smell like myself, but I'll come straight to your place after."

"That's okay, take your time," Bucky says, sounding a bit less weighed down now, and Steve knows he'll take the quickest shower known to man and then rush over to Bucky's place.

"I gotta go now, but I'll see you soon," Steve promises. "Try to get some sleep in the meantime."

Bucky doesn’t look like he got any sleep when Steve finally gets to his condo, but he doesn’t look as bad as Steve was half dreading. He mostly looks tired, but his smile is genuine, and when he kisses Steve hello it’s warm, sweet, and chocolate flavored.

“You have dinner?” Steve asks, teasing, and Bucky grins.

“I may have skipped dinner in favor of a mocha and a cookie from Starbucks,” he admits, and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Healthy,” he says dryly, but he goes up on his toes for another kiss. He can already feel the tension of the long shift bleeding from his body, surrounded by Bucky’s smell, his warmth, welcomed into his home.

"If you're hungry, we can order some take out," Bucky offers when the kiss ends, but Steve shakes his head.

"I had a quick snack, so maybe later. Right now I'm just looking forward to sitting down with you and holding you close," he says and Bucky lips turn up again as he nods.

"Yeah, that's what I was hoping for too," he says and tugs Steve over to the couch. There's a blanket thrown over it, indicating that maybe Bucky at least attempted some sleep, and Steve picks it up as he sits down. He puts it over his shoulders and then holds it open for Bucky.

"C'mere," he smiles.

Bucky grins, climbing onto the couch and settles with his head resting on Steve’s chest, arms circling all the way around his waist. Steve hums happily, wrapping Bucky up in the blanket and his arms.

“I’m sorry your professor’s a dick,” Steve murmurs, nuzzling against Bucky’s hair. He can smell the leftover undercurrent of frustration and anger on Bucky, a charged electrical burn of unhappiness, and he wants desperately to soothe it away.

“He is,” Bucky grouses, then sighs, rubbing his nose right against Steve’s scent gland, making him shiver. “Everyone knows that, though. He’s always talking down to omegas, but he’s tenured.”

"That's really shitty," Steve says, swallowing hard. "He's not gonna fail you or anything, right?"

"Nah, he's too smart to go that far, but he's gonna give me a shitty grade no matter what I do. No omega does well in his class."

"And they just let him get away with that?" Steve says, indignant, both on Bucky's behalf and that of the other omegas in his class.

Bucky shrugs. "People have complained before, but nothing's come of it, so everyone just accepts it and works harder in other classes. I'm just glad I don't depend on a scholarship."

Steve rubs his thumb against the soft skin behind Bucky’s ear and he lets out a pleased hum. “I hate people like that,” he says forcefully. “Who just willfully do the wrong thing and never have to deal with any consequences.”

“Yeah, well. There’s a lot of them, you get used to it,” Bucky says darkly, and Steve regrets bringing it up at all with how Bucky tenses. He should be distracting him, not making him dwell on what was upsetting him.

“Did you watch the Mets game?” he asks, changing in subject, moving his hand to drag through Bucky’s hair.

Bucky hums in contentment, his eyes closing. "We can put it on yeah, but if you keep doing that, I'm likely to fall asleep on you," he murmurs and Steve laughs.

"Wouldn't really be the first time," he says fondly and reaches for the remote with his free hand. He turns the TV on and sets it to the correct channel, the excited voice of the commentator washing over the previous silence.

"You a big baseball fan?" Bucky asks, moving his head to Steve's shoulder so he can see the screen better. His breath tickles over Steve's neck and he has to suppress another shiver.

"Not so much anymore now that work keeps me busy, but I used to be," Steve answers. "Went to games whenever I could. Can't really play for shit though."

He can feel Bucky’s smile against his neck, warm and sweet, and it makes something swoop in his stomach. “I used to play soccer in high school,” Bucky volunteers. “Our team was pretty good, set to go to state the year my parents left. Most of my high school friends were on the team.”

He’s wondered, in passing, when Bucky talked about refusing to move with his family, what had happened to the friends Bucky was so adamant about not losing. Now, he can’t help but realize that he hasn’t really heard Bucky mention _any_ friends, besides passing class acquaintances. “You still in touch with those guys?”

Bucky is silent for a moment before he shakes his head. "No, they... we lost touch when I was with Brock," he says quietly and Steve wants to slap himself for bringing the mood down again.

"I'm sorry," he says softly, his grip on Bucky tightening.

"It's okay, it's kinda my fault anyway. They kept telling me Brock was trouble and I didn't listen, argued with them over him, and I guess they got fed up with it," Bucky shrugs.

Steve feels a surge of annoyance, at the kind of people who would abandon their friend to a shitty situation, but then Bucky keeps talking.

“We’d been drifting for a while anyway. People always drift after high school, and they didn’t really like the kind of Alphas I went with in general. Brock was the worst, but there were ones before him who were just… out to fuck. But it was fine, I was pretty much out to fuck too, I didn’t expect anything more, you know? I just wanted to have fun. But with Brock it felt like something, and they could just… tell I guess. It was a general ‘if he’s gonna make his bed, he needs to lie in it’ attitude. So we drifted.”

Steve bites his lip as he contemplates how to reply to that. He can understand how Bucky being around bad alphas would be a problem, but he still thinks it was unfair. Bucky stayed for them and had lost so much and then they left him too. He doesn't say that though, Bucky feels bad enough as it is and now is not the time to press the issue.

"I'm sorry you lost them," he ends up saying and kisses the top of Bucky's head. "But it's in the past. You've got me now. And Sam and Riley like you too." And so will his other friends and coworkers Steve plans on introducing him too. He knows enough good people who could become Bucky's friends.

Bucky hums happily, nuzzling at Steve’s neck. “I got you,” he repeats, happy, and Steve tugs him up for a kiss.

“Lucky me,” he whispers honestly, and Bucky bites his lip.

“Lucky you, huh? What are you getting out of this?”

“What’d you mean?” Steve laughs, but a flash of insecurity flit across Bucky’s face. “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met, I love spending time with you.”

"You keep saying that," Bucky says softly, his hand coming up to play with the string of Steve's hoodie. "Most of the time I believe you, but sometimes it's hard."

"Bucky..."

"No, hey, it's fine," Bucky says, tries for a smile. "It's been a bad day and my head's not in a good place. I'll be better tomorrow," he says and Steve looks down at him helplessly. He'd wanted to cheer Bucky up, but everything he says brings the mood down even further. He bites his lip in contemplation. Maybe it's time for a different approach.

"It's okay to have bad days," he says and moves to tilt Bucky's chin up. "It's fine to have doubts, but I promise, I'm exactly where I want to be," he says and kisses him.

Bucky melts into the kiss, going so pliant against him that Steve’s first reaction is to pull back and check in. But their phone conversation flashes through his mind, and it occurs to him that Bucky is accustomed to physical affection. He’s used to gauging his worth by how much people want him. He’s worth so much more than that, but holding out on him in the one way he knows how to show and receive affection might be a part of the reason it’s not sticking.

He breaks the kiss, running his hand down Bucky’s spine. “Would it help if I showed you how much I like being with you?”

It is clear from the surprised hope on his face that Bucky wants to say yes, but he hesitates.

"I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with," he hedges, but Steve just smiles at him, determined now.

"I've set up some boundaries, yeah, but I think we're ready to move past them. You can say no whenever you want, but I really want to make you feel good," he says honestly and Bucky's reaction is immediate.

"Yeah, yeah, I- yes please," he says, his eyes already glazed over.

“C’m up here,” Steve murmurs, scooting down the couch a little bit so Bucky’s cradled in the V of his legs. Bucky wriggles up, so he’s hovering over Steve, looking a little uncertain. “That’s what you get for picking a little guy, you’re gonna be bigger than me,” Steve jokes, and Bucky looks guilty.

“It’s okay, I’m not like–” he starts to ramble, and Steve cuts him off by squeezing fondly but firmly on the back of his neck. Bucky’s eyes flutter shut.

“You’re still gonna be sweet for me though, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Bucky agrees, and Steve hums, pulling him into a long slow kiss.

“Yeah you are."

They've kissed like this many times before, but instead of trying to rein himself in, Steve lets himself give in to it. His hands, which before he would try to keep in proper places, start to wander. He maps out Bucky's back through the fabric of his shirt and then slides them lower, cupping Bucky's firm ass like he's wanted to for a while now.

It makes Bucky gasp and pull away from the kiss in surprise, like he didn't think Steve was serious up until now. Steve just grins and takes the opportunity to press wet open-mouthed kisses against Bucky's neck. Bucky trembles in his arms, the sweetest moan tearing from his throat as he presses himself closer.

Steve tuts, bring his knees up to hug Bucky’s hips, one hand massaging his ass while the other one scratches through his hair. “Poor baby, I haven’t been taking care of you properly, have I?”

Bucky keens, his whole body pushing against Steve like he can fuse them together if he tries hard enough. “You’re fine,” he starts, and Steve tugs lightly on his hair, enough to bring a small sting but not enough to really hurt. Bucky’s hips snap against him in response.

“No, sweetie, don’t do that. I know what you need now.” Bucky nods eagerly, tilting his face up for a kiss, which Steve gives him happily. “You like listening to me talk honey? How about this. I’ll talk to you, and give you my fingers, and I can take care of you without going faster than I’m comfortable with. How’s that sound? You gonna get wet for me?”

"Yes, please, yes," Bucky nods frantically and his hips twitch, like he wants to move into Steve's touch again, but he stays still.

"That's right," Steve praises. "Let me do all the work, let me take care of you," he says and moves his hand so his fingers tease between Bucky's cheeks through the denim. There isn't much give with the material, but Bucky clutches at Steve's knees for purchase, his breath coming out in pants as the bulge in his jeans becomes more prominent.

“Get your pants open,” Steve whispers, and Bucky scrabbles to obey, going up on his knees so he can get at the button on his fly. Steve tugs him back down right away, into the cradle of his hips, but now there’s enough give for him to slide his hand down the back of Bucky’s pants, palm at the warm muscle.

Excitement jumps inside his chest. Hell, it’s been awhile since he had his hands on someone. He stuck out his last couple of ruts by himself, too busy with the hospital to find a partner he felt comfortable with, and it’s been so long. Bucky makes a sweet, soft, distinctly omega sound and Steve swallows. Even longer since he’s heard that.

He kneads at the flesh for a moment and then trails his fingers to the cleft, dipping his fingers in teasingly, getting the tips wet.

"Such a good boy, got all wet for me just like I asked," he praises and Bucky whimpers, his whole body tense from holding himself back. "I'm not gonna make you wait sweetheart, I promise. I know you need it," he says and runs his free hand through Bucky's hair, tugging him in for a kiss.

Bucky kisses him back desperately and Steve can feel his own pants grow tight from how needy Bucky is, how gone, and Steve hasn't even properly touched him yet.

“Made you wait long enough, didn’t I? You were so good for me, such a sweetheart, waiting because I asked you to when you needed it.” He runs his fingertips over the rim of Bucky’s hole, blood-swollen and slick, loose under his fingers.

“Steve,” Bucky begs, long and drawn out, breath going ragged as Steve dips one finger tip into the warm clutch of Bucky’s body.

“So good,” Steve praises, dropping kisses all over Bucky’s face. Another soft sound as Steve slides the first finger in all the way, and Bucky turn his face towards the hand in his hair, nosing down until he can mouth gently at the scent gland in Steve’s wrist.

Steve lets out a low moan, slowly starting to move his finger in and out of Bucky's body.

"You're so open for me sweetheart," he breathes. "Bet if I wanted to, I could slide my cock right in," he says and to demonstrate, he adds a second finger, sliding both in with ease, Bucky cries out, his hips canting like he wants Steve even deeper and Steve did promise not to tease, so he presses his fingers into the final knuckle, stretching out the rim as his fingertips massage along his inner walls.

“Want your knot,” Bucky whimpers, and Steve’s hips snap up despite himself, grinding his cock against Bucky’s hip. Bucky’s looking at him, eyes bright and a little out of focus, and Steve imagines it as he slides a third finger in, locking with this beautiful, sweet omega who deserves so much. A rush of hot blood washes down his front, pooling between his legs, and he growls a little despite himself. Bucky keens.

“Wanna be full?” Steve asks, sliding back into that mindless place where his mouth had run away from him last time. “Wanna be so full of me you can’t get away, want me to fill you with come and then plug you up?”

“Please, please, I’ll be good,” Bucky pants, hips working back desperately on Steve’s fingers. “Lemme be good, such a nice warm wet place for you to come in.”

Steve swears, hips snapping hard, and he sinks his teeth into the meat of Bucky’s shoulder to keep himself from going for his neck.

Bucky cries out, almost losing his balance for a second, but Steve's got him, his arm sliding down to wrap around Bucky's waist securely. Holding him in place, he works his fingers in and out of Bucky’s hole at a punishing pace, the room filled with the wet sounds of it.

"Please Steve, fill me up," Bucky begs and Steve is overcome with the need to do just that. It's too late now, even if he did change his mind, so he kisses up Bucky's neck, lips barely ghosting over Bucky's scent gland.

"I can't do that right now baby, you're so gone already, ready to come on my fingers. Be a shame to stop," he says and Bucky only whimpers in response. "Yeah, you're close. You wanna touch your cock for me baby? Gonna feel even better if you do,"

Bucky tries, but he’s starting to shake too hard to balance well on one arm, and keeps tilting sideways when he tries to get his hand down his pants. Steve goes for plan B, shushing Bucky gently. “C’mere, try this,” he murmurs, shifting his weight until his cock is lined up against Bucky’s and then pulls him down so they can grind together.

There’s no way Steve’s not going to come from this, but he can tell already that the knot isn’t going to take, not enough direct stimulation for it to blow all the way. He swallows down the frustration of a half blown knot and focuses instead on matching the rhythm of his fingers to the grind of Bucky’s hips, helping him chase his pleasure.

“Such a good boy, want you so much,” Steve promises, and the shudder that rolls through Bucky’s body makes Steve think that maybe this time, he actually believes it. “Come for me sweetheart.”

Bucky doesn't need more encouragement, his hips snapping up into Steve's a couple of times before he stiffens, clamping down on Steve's fingers hard as he comes.

Steve imagines for a moment what that would feel like on his cock, his hips rubbing up against Bucky's frantically at the thought, and Bucky's just stopped shaking in his arms when his own orgasm hits.

Bucky's kissing along his chin lazily when he can think straight again, and they're both slumped against the back of the couch in a messy heap.

“This probably would have been less messy if I’d just let you take your pants off,” Steve says after a beat, and then Bucky devolves into helpless laughter which Steve can feel, hell, everywhere, from inside Bucky’s body to where they’re pressed knee to chest.

“Maybe,” Bucky acknowledges, and then sighs happily, rubbing his face on Steve’s neck. “But it was really good anyway.”

“Yeah?” Steve says absently, rubbing the small of Bucky’s back in warning, then sliding his fingers free. “I’m really glad, baby.”

Bucky makes an unhappy noise at being empty again, but Steve catches his lips in a sweet kiss, letting it peter out into a series of soft nips and when they pull away, Bucky is smiling, a true content smile that warms Steve up from the inside.

"I really don't want to move, but the longer we wait, the grosser this is gonna feel," he says regretfully, but Bucky just chuckles.

"Yeah, you're right. You're welcome to use the shower, I can lend you some clothes if you need them," he says.

Steve doesn’t shower, but he does borrow a washcloth and wipes down, making a face at the mess in his pants. The sweats Bucky lends Steve are at least two sizes too big and need to be cuffed up if he doesn’t want them to trail on the floor, but they’re warm and soft and smell like Bucky.

Bucky’s hovering outside the bathroom, his dirty jeans hitched up around his hips, looking slightly embarrassed. “I might shower,” he admits, when Steve walks out. “Is that alright? I feel bad leaving you hanging around here by yourself, but I feel really…. sticky.”

“Yeah, of course,” Steve rushes to assure, and then catches Bucky’s waist, going up on his toes to kiss Bucky softly. “Hey. Thanks for giving me that. Thanks for letting me inside you.”

Bucky blushes sweetly, ducking his head for a moment before he smiles. "I've wanted to for a while now," he shrugs.

"I know, but I just want you to know I'm not taking it for granted," Steve says, running his fingers through Bucky's hair.

"I know you're not," Bucky says softly and Steve presses another kiss to his lips before he steps around Bucky.

"I'll watch some TV while you shower, take as long as you need."

“Okay,” Bucky agrees, and looks like he wants to say something else but thinks better of it. “Be out in a minute.”

Steve channel surfs while the water runs for the shower, forcing himself not to think about Bucky naked and wet a few walls away. He could get it up again easily, despite having come already, because the knot didn’t complete, but he forces himself to focus on the television in front of him.

A plume of steam follows Bucky out of the bathroom, citrus scented and warm. Bucky’s got the long part of his hair slicked back with dampness, but a couple pieces of his bangs are falling across his forehead and he looks so cute Steve can’t help himself, holds out his arms and asks, “C’mere?”

Bucky grins widely, crawling onto the couch to tuck himself into Steve’s arms. He smells like clean soap and citrus shampoo and underneath it the sweet honey smell of omega. “Wish you could stay,” he mutters into Steve’s shoulder, and Steve’s heart jumps.

He has work in the morning and he'd originally been intending to go home after he made sure Bucky was feeling better, but now he's not so sure about it. He should definitely go home so he can change and make sure he doesn't reek of Bucky, but he wonders how many times the alphas Bucky has been with have just up and left after the sex was over. He doesn't feel good about being another person on that list, even if he has a good reason for it.

"I could... I could maybe stay?" he says hesitantly. "I'd have to get up really early, but if you're okay with being woken up before the sun's properly up, I could stay?"

Bucky looks up at him, big blue eyes full of hope, but he shakes his head. "I know how rough your work can get, you need a good night's sleep. And I made you come here when you were exhausted already, you should go home."

Steve brushes his thumb across the arch of Bucky’s cheekbone, sharpened by shadows cast by the flickering TV. “I want to stay,” he stays honestly, making sure Bucky sees the truth of it in his face. “I do. But I have to be at the hospital at 7, to get back to my place and then to work I’d have to wake up at 4.”

“No, you should go home,” Bucky sighs, closing his eyes and nuzzling at Steve’s neck, drawing in a deep breath and then pulling back. “Next time,” he mutters.

“You could… come back with me? How early’s your class? I’d still have to get up at like 5:30, honestly so I understand if you don’t want to do that, plus Sam and Riley would probably be home when you got up for real. But if you don’t want to be alone tonight, we could do that?”

"I have a class at nine," Bucky says, thinking about it. "But I could just bring everything I need with me, go to class from your place."

"Yeah, that would work," Steve nods. "But again, you'd be going out of your way and it's totally fine if you don't want to. We can make plans to sleep over for another time."

"We could yeah, but I-I'd really like to come with you," Bucky says quietly. "I don't wanna be away from you tonight."

Steve’s heart drops a little, and if he’d been wondering before if Bucky was used to being left after sex, now he’s almost sure of it. “Okay,” he agrees, sitting forward so can kiss Bucky’s lips, cheek, forehead. There’s no way he can leave him alone now. “Okay, c’mon. We can take an Uber, it won’t even be too late when we get there if we leave soon.”

It takes a couple minutes for Bucky to throw his books, laptop and clothes for the morning into his bag, but it’s a fairly short ride from Bucky’s place to Steve’s by car, and neither of them care too much about the fact that they’re wearing sweatpants.

Steve’s half expecting Sam and Riley to be kicking around the apartment when they get there, but they’re not. Steve can see a sliver of light under their door, however, so he calls hello as the leads Bucky down the hall towards his room.

"You're back early!" Sam calls back.

"It's not that early. And Bucky and I decided to spend the night here tonight!" Steve calls back, giving them a heads up.

"Hi Bucky! Hope you enjoy your stay at Casa Rogers, don't be too loud, the walls are thin!" Riley calls back and he and Sam dissolve into laughter.

"You’re real comedians!" Steve calls back, ushers Bucky into his room and pointedly clicks the door shut.

"I'm sorry about them, sometimes it's like living with a pair of twelve year olds," he apologises.

Bucky just waves his hand, looking around the room curiously, and Steve belatedly realizes that Bucky’s never been in his bedroom before. It’s not as clean as he would like, especially given how neat Bucky tends to keep his own living space, but it’s not too bad. Honestly, Steve mostly only comes in here to crash after a shift, so most of the clutter is just clothes left lying around.

He gathers them up as Bucky wanders over to look at the pictures on his desk, dumping them in the hamper in the closet as Bucky picks up a framed photograph. “This your mom?” he asks softly, tilting the frame so Steve can see the photograph of him and his Ma, taken at the nurses station on his first day at the hospital.

“Yeah,” he confirms, walking over to slide his arm around Bucky’s waist. “First day we worked together after I got my job at the hospital.”

Bucky’s quiet for a minute, but when Steve looks up at him he’s smiling softly. “You look like her.”

"Yeah, I seem to have gotten most of my looks from her," Steve smiles.

"You two still work together?" Bucky asks and Steve shakes his head no. 

"She's not retired yet, but she stopped working at the hospital last year. She's still completely able to work, but she said she wanted to make room for new blood, though to be honest I think she just likes the hours as a private nurse more."

Bucky laughs. "Gee, I wonder why that is. Who doesn't love super long shifts and working at night every couple of days?"

Steve laughs, pinching Bucky’s hip, making him squirm away. “We here to shit talk my job, or are we here to sleep?”

“Mmmm, sleep,” Bucky replies, dropping his bag next to Steve’s desk and flopping down onto the bed. It’s a double, big enough for both of them, but small enough not to dwarf the room. Sam and Riley have the bigger room, and Steve had never had a reason to dislike that, though he didn’t often have company for the night.

Bucky grins at him, and Steve grins back, helpless. “Just let me get changed,” he says, turning to grab a pair of pants that would actually fit and a warm cotton shirt. “You can get in bed, I’ll be right back.”

He goes to the bathroom to change and while he's there, takes care of some other business. When he hurries back to his room, Bucky is already under the covers, face smushed into one of the pillows, though he turns enough for one eye to peek out at Steve when he closes the door.

"Comfortable?" Steve asks as he throws Bucky's sweatpants over his desk chair.

"Mmn, very. Would be more if you were in here with me," he mumbles and Steve doesn't hesitate to crawl under the covers with him. Bucky immediately scoots over to rest his head on Steve's shoulder and Steve puts his arms around him, kissing the top of his head.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he murmurs into Bucky’s hair, and Bucky hums happily, wriggling a little closer.

“Sure is,” he mutters, voice sleep laden already, and Steve smiles to himself. He scratches his free hand through Bucky’s hair gently, drawing out another happy sigh, so he keeps it up as he lets himself drift, stopping only once drowsiness descends.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky comes out of his shell a bit, and gets to know some good people a little better.

Bucky wakes up briefly when Steve’s alarm goes off, long enough to roll over and snuggle close and bury his face in the warm spicy smell of sleepy Alpha. He’s aware, vaguely, of Steve’s soft laughter and the gentle feeling of Steve’s hand in his hair, of the fondness in Steve’s voice when he murmurs hello, and the feeling of lips on his forehead. He knows he whines when Steve finally pulls away, and that Steve responds with a soft “Go back to sleep, sweetheart.”

He must doze for a while more, because the next time he opens his eyes to glance at the clock on the ipod dock on Steve’s dresser, it’s almost 8:30. There’s sounds of life in the apartment, coming from the kitchen most likely, the sound of cupboards opening and closing, the burble of a coffee pot. He entertains an idle thought of maybe hanging out in here until Sam and Riley leave for work, but he has no idea of when that might be.

The possibility is snatched away from him when Riley knocks on the door and asks quietly if Bucky’s awake, if he wants breakfast. As tempted as he might be to hide out in Steve’s room all morning, Bucky refuses to be intimidated by Riley. He knows they probably think he's going to be skittish around the other Alpha, that Steve probably warned him off, but Bucky has dealt with Alphas his whole life. He refuses to seem scared of a mated Alpha who's his boyfriend's roommate.

So he opens the door and he can tell from the look on Riley's face that he looks defiant, like maybe he's way over shot confident and landed in aggressive, but Riley just smiles blandly at him. "Sam's making pancakes," he says lightly. "Which between you and me is like, the best thing that's happened all week, because he only does that when he's trying to impress someone and he stopped trying to impress me like 3 years ago."

Bucky's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He has no doubt that Riley is exaggerating a bit, but them making breakfast for him is... unexpected to say the least.

"He didn't have to do that," he says, dialing back the attitude, but Riley just smiles.

"Probably not, but that's Sam for you. There's coffee too," he says enticingly, and well, how can Bucky say no to that?

"Pancakes and coffee sound nice," he returns the smile, willing himself to relax.

The kitchen smells amazing, and Sam is standing at the stove in a pair of running pants and a workout tee, pouring batter into a pan. He glances up when Bucky shuffles in, smiling warmly, and Bucky feels the same rush of nerves he had when he met them for the first time. This is Steve's _best friend_ , his roommate since college. If they thought Bucky wasn't good enough, Steve would....

Steve would do absolutely nothing, besides maybe argue with his friends, Bucky reminds himself forcefully. Steve has never been anything other than kind, and gentle, and sweeter to Bucky than he'd ever thought anyone could be. And he keeps saying Sam and Riley are good people, Bucky should give them a chance.

"Anything I can do to help?" he asks, trying not to sound too awkward or shy about it.

"Nah, I got it covered," Sam says, eyes back on the pan. "The coffee pot is full, just grab one of the mugs and get settled."

Bucky nods and walks over to the coffee machine, pouring himself a cup. Riley is sitting at the dining table when he turns and he figures he should probably go sit with him. He sits down across from the Alpha and takes a sip out of his mug, mostly so he doesn't have to say anything, but he lets out an involuntary humm as he swallows it down.

"Good, huh?" Riley smiles. "Figured you for the kind of man who appreciates fancy coffee, unlike some people."

Bucky glances at Sam, who laughs at him, shaking his head. "Not me, Steve. Come on, man, you've got to have noticed he will drink coffee from literally anywhere. Literally. He drinks gas station coffee."

"Well," Bucky muses. "In his defense, hospital coffee is right up there with gas station coffee in the worst kinds of coffee you can get, and he drinks a lot of that. All hospital food and beverages are deplorable."

" _Deplorable_ ," Riley laughs, and Bucky grins at him. "Something tells me you have strong opinions on this, buddy."

"Some very strong opinions. That's why I stop by and bring him lunch every so often. Just thinking about him living off of hospital cafeteria food makes me sad," he says dramatically and both Sam and Riley crack up.

Sam joins them at the table a few minutes later, carrying a stacked plate of pancakes and another plate loaded with bacon.

"Steve didn't mention if you eat meat or not, but if you don't want bacon, I can scrap up some eggs or an omelette or something," he says almost apologetically, like he should've known this in advance and Bucky feels touched that he'd even care.

"Nah, not a vegetarian or anything, but even if I were, the pancakes would've been enough, thank you," he says sincerely.

"No trouble, man," Sam says kindly, and motions for Bucky to help himself to the pancakes.

For as nervous as he'd been about this, Bucky finds himself relaxing as conversation starts to flow naturally. Sam and Riley needle each other constantly, but with such obvious underlying affection that Bucky can tell how well and truly they love each other.

Sam's funny, sharply intelligent and sarcastic, while Riley gives off the same vibe of protective kindness at Steve does. _Like a good Alpha_ Bucky's brain supplies, and his next bite of pancake is a little harder to swallow. _Like the good kind of Alpha everyone says is out there and you could never find._ He's struck suddenly with the feeling that this was all an accident, that someone is going to bust down the door and tell Bucky that this isn't the life he's supposed to have, he doesn't deserve people like this.

"Bucky? Everything okay?" Riley's worried voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and shit, he didn't even realise he zoned out.

"Yeah, sorry, just got lost in thought for a bit," he apologises quickly, hiding behind his coffee mug as he takes another sip.

"That's alright man, it happens in the mornings," Riley says warmly and thankfully doesn't pry even though he looks like he wants to. Bucky doesn't know what to do with that for a moment, that these two care enough to be worried about him after seeing him twice.

He misses Steve, suddenly, wishing Steve were here to slide his hand around Bucky's wrist and rub calming circles into his skin, take the focus off Bucky until he could get his head under control.

He ends up catching Sam's eye almost by accident, but something about the way Sam quirks a smile at him and then turns to Riley, starts needling him about something or other and pulls his attention away from Bucky, makes it seem like maybe he gets it somehow. Maybe he's safe.

It's not quite the sympathetic, safety in numbers feeling Bucky gets from being around other omegas, but something about Sam feels firmly, silently, solidly supportive. He takes advantage of their distraction to go up and get another cup of coffee, and try to knock his head back into line at the same time.

He hadn't even been this nervous around _Steve_ when they met, a bonded pair should not be setting him on edge like this. Maybe it's residual hangover bad emotions from his shitty day yesterday, or emotional wonkiness from the approaching heat.

He catches a glimpse of Sam and Riley over his shoulder as he pours himself another cup and sighs. They're trying, for him, or maybe because Steve told them too and that might be the issue. He wants Sam and Riley to like him. He knows Steve won't kick him to the curb if they don't, but he wants to fit into Steve's life, wants his friends to look at him and see a good person who doesn't fuck up all the time. He didn't have to try to impress Steve, but he feels a little like he has to work for it with Sam and Riley.

Steve would probably tell him he's being ridiculous, that the doesn't need to impress anyone, but Bucky can't remember the last time someone just wanted to be his friend.

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. No one's going to want to be his friend if he hides out by the coffee pot and wallows.

“You guys don’t have work today?” he asks as he turns back towards the table, blowing on the steaming mug in front of him to have something to do.

“Yeah, we do, just later,” Sam says kindly. “I work at Steve’s hospital, and I’m sure you know how that place is with their predictable scheduling.”

Bucky smiles a little, and inclines his head. “Yeah it can be kind of a mess. You’re not a nurse, though, right? You said before you studied psych in college.”

“I’m a trauma therapist,” Sam says mildly, and Riley’s hand drifts seemingly thoughtlessly to hold his wrist, a small gesture of comfort and affection. “It’s a hard job, but I can help a lot of people.”

Bucky nods, taking another sip of his coffee as he sits back down. That certainly explains a few things.

"What about you?" he asks Riley. "Don't think Steve's mentioned what you do."

"I'm a personal trainer," Riley smiles and Bucky automatically gives him a once over. He wouldn't have immediately thought of that, but it makes sense.

"So you work odd hours too," he comments.

"Yes, but they're infinitely less stressful and I get to pick when I work, so I more or less win here," Riley says and leans back in his chair smugly.

“Technically I don’t have a job, so I kind of win?” Bucky jokes, and even he knows it’s weak, but they seem to appreciate the effort. “I just…. pay other people large amounts of money to make me wake up early in the morning?”

“Ahhh, college,” Sam says sarcastically, and Riley laughs. “Seriously though, man, it’s cool what you’re doing. A lot of people who don’t jump into college right after high school never make a go of it. What made you decide to go back?”

“I used to work for a moving company?” Bucky says, rocking on the legs of his chair a little awkwardly. “I got the job through a high school buddy, he worked there during summers during college, but I stayed year round. But after my accident, I… there was a huge chunk of time where I had little to no mobility in my arm. So I couldn’t work the only job I’d ever had, and I had more than enough money from the settlement, even after I got my condo, so I said… why not. I started taking one or two classes at a time. This year is my first full year, even though I’m technically second year in my program.”

"That's smart though, gives you more options for the future," Sam nods and Bucky's shoulders drop in relief. He's got nothing to hide, but he's glad they're not making him talk about the accident more.

"I really hope so. I'm not really in a hurry to get a job, but I hope I'll be able to do something with my degree when I'm done, I've really grown to love what I'm learning," he says.

"Linguistics right? I think Steve mentioned that," Riley says and Bucky nods.

"Yeah. I've always been interested in languages, so it made sense to go for that. I was worried for a bit that it would be weird, going back to school after so many years, but it thankfully hasn't been."

“Do you speak any other languages?” Sam asks, curious, and it’s easy to fall into the rhythm of conversation as they continue eating. Bucky explains about picking up some Russian from the other guys on his moving crew, which transitions them nicely into crazy work stories.

Of which Riley, shockingly, has many. “I’m not bound by doctor-patient confidentially, understand,” Riley drawls, and the soft lilt of his southern accident gets more predominant as he settles into the story. Which, guessing from Sam’s face, he’s told hundreds of times. “That means I can talk all I want about the crazy Alpha lady I worked with for 6 months on the upper east side who insisted that on a no-carb no-fat no-meat diet she was feeling better than she ever had in her life.”

“What was she eating?” Bucky splutters, horrified, and Riley laughs.

“Mostly kale and beans, from what I could tell.”

"Man, that's crazy. If I ate only that and then had to work out, I'd pass out for sure," Bucky says.

"Oh she did, she totally did, but she claimed it was somehow my fault, even though we'd only gone through stretches at that point," Riley rolls his eyes.

Bucky shakes his head. "I don't know how people do diets at all, I'd go crazy if I had to stop eating foods I love."

"Yeah, that's why I tell my clients to eat what they want, just in moderation," Riley says. "It does depend on the results you're looking for, but it's hard for a lot of people to eat clean and unless you're looking to get ripped, there's no need to torture yourself."

“He _will_ talk at you about this for 45 minutes,” Sam warns, and Bucky downright giggles at the long suffering look on Riley’s face.

“He’s dating _Steve_ , you think he’s a stranger to impassioned rants on random and sundry topics?” Riley demands, incredulous, and Sam shuts him up via the rather effective method of smacking a kiss on his mouth.

“I gotta go get ready for work,” Sam admits, standing up and stretching. “Gotta get to the hospital by 9:30. You need the shower, Buck?”

Bucky shakes his head, feeling stupidly shy and pleased at the use of the nickname. “Nah, I showered at my place last night.”

"Okay cool," Sam nods. "You got the clean up?" he asks Riley, nodding at the dishes on the table.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, I've got until noon," Riley says with a shit eating grin and Sam just glares at him before he walks to their bedroom.

"You want help with the dishes?" Bucky asks, feeling a little guilty at them making him food and cleaning up while he just sits by.

"Nah, it's okay, you probably need to start getting ready too and I've got more than enough time," Riley smiles.

It’s an excuse to escape, but Bucky at least helps gather up the dishes in the sink, before Riley seriously shoos him away. Even then, though, he avoids using any kind of commanding Alpha tone, remaining seemingly thoughtlessly neutral. Bucky almost asks him if a lot of his clients are omegas, but that seems too nosey, implying too much, and ultimately he does use the excuse to disappear back into Steve’s room.

Actually getting dressed doesn’t take that long, and he ends up sort of flopped on Steve’s bed, halfheartedly dicking around on his phone while mostly looking around at Steve’s space.

The room has the same warm, lived-in feel as the rest of the apartment, the kind of personality that says people live in a space and feel comfortable in it. His own compulsive neatness since the accident has prevented his condo from ever really getting that broken in feel, and being in this place is comforting, even without Steve there.

He stays until the last possible moment before he needs to leave to catch his train and he's a little regretful that he has to leave. He knows he can come back any time, but it was a surprisingly nice morning and he's not eager to replace the new familiarity with disinterested classmates. But he does have to go, so he grabs his stuff and takes one last look at Steve's room before leaving.

Riley's in the living room watching TV when he walks out and he nods at him. "You heading out?"

"Yeah, got a train to catch," Bucky smiles. "Thanks for breakfast."

"Don't mention it, it's not like we were gonna make you leave hungry," Riley says. "Sam, say bye to Bucky, he has to leave for school!" he calls.

"Bye Bucky! Have a good day! Come back soon!" Sam calls back.

Bucky bites his lip, and even that’s not really enough to hold back the grin. “Bye, Sam!” he calls out, and waves a little at Riley, who waves back.

“Really, do come back. I know your place is private and while you and Rogers are all loved up that has it’s appeal. But come by for movie night or something,” Riley says sincerely, and Bucky nods.

“I’d like that,” he agrees, and can’t even deny there’s a bit of a spring in his step as he heads down to his train. He fishes in his jeans pocket for his phone, sending Steve a text that says _Riley invited me to movie night. do they know what they’re getting into????_ and sticks on a couple emojis for fun. He doesn’t expect Steve to answer while he’s on the floor at the hospital, but that’s fine. He can wait.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another date, and another step forward.

Steve’s got a rare Saturday off, and he’s prepared to spend the whole day sitting on his couch in sweatpants and texting Bucky. This plan is thwarted, however, when the first text he gets from Bucky that morning is _good morning sunshine. you up? put on pants and don’t eat breakfast yet, it’s YOUR turn for a surprise date_

_I just got up out of bed, perfect timing :P. Do I need to wear anything special?_ he texts back immediately, excitement bubbling in his stomach.

_yes, it's like i knew you were incapable of sleeping late even on your day off :P. nothing special, what you usually wear is totally fine. in all possible meanings of that word._

_Some people like being awake when it's actually day time, okay? When're you picking me up Mr. Flirt?_ he texts back, already perusing the contents of his closet for something nice.

_you totally love it when i flirt. and i'm already on my way, so hussle._

Steve settles for a nice pair of jeans cuffs turned up, and after deliberating about the weather, throws a green sweater over his button down. Then he spends about 25 minutes trying to get his bangs off his forehead, while Sam yells at him from the kitchen about hogging the bathroom.

“If you actually need it, I’ll get out, otherwise fuck off!” Steve shoots back, and he can hear Riley’s laughter.

They’re both still in their PJs when Steve comes out, Riley perched on a stool at the counter while Sam makes coffee, both looking like they just rolled out of bed. Riley’s sandy brown hair is sticking up in every direction and it makes Steve feel somewhat better about his own floppy bangs.

“Lover boy coming by?” Riley asks, lazy. “Should we try to be more put together?”

"Nah, he's taking me out for a surprise date, so we won't really be staying, continue with your lazy Saturday," Steve says, eyeing the coffee machine a little longingly.

"This is our coffee, Bucky can buy you some as part of his surprise," Sam says without even turning around and Riley laughs at Steve's surprised face.

"I've lived with you long enough to know how you work Steve," Sam says as he hands Riley a cup and then pointedly takes a sip from his own.

“Rude,” Steve huffs, but he can’t help smiling at the fond look Riley shoots Sam. It had been hard, at times, watching his best friends have the kind of connection he’d always wanted with someone. Now, though, with Bucky in his life it was easy to be happy for them without even the pangs of jealousy.

He’s just settled down at the counter to mess around on his phone and wait for Bucky when the phone buzzes in his hand, the text popping up. _outside your building_

“Don’t forget we’re supposed to get brunch with Natasha and Maria tomorrow!” Sam calls after Steve. “If she’s hungover and cranky that you’re not there, you get to deal with the angry Russian.”

"I plan on being there, don't worry!" Steve calls back as he shuts the door behind him. He hurries down the steps, but pauses right before the front door to make sure his hair is still in place and then steps out to meet Bucky, who’s looking perfect as always, leaning against the wall in his light blue sweater and leather jacket.

"Hi," he says, and when Bucky completely lights up just at the sight of him, he has to walk over and pull him in for a kiss.

"Hey yourself," Bucky grins, a little surprised, but obviously happy. "Someone definitely got out of the right side of the bed today."

“Just happy to see you,” Steve says gently, nuzzling against Bucky’s face before letting him go, stepping back and taking Bucky’s hand. “Where are we going?”

“Into the city,” Bucky says cryptically, laughing a little when Steve glares at him. “Trust me! I have a plan.”

He does in fact, have a plan. Their first stop is an open-air market near Central Park, with stalls set up from all kinds of local bakeries and vendors. They wander through the stalls hand in hand, stopping at a local coffee roaster’s booth to pick up coffees, and then browsing the selection of baked items and fresh fruit, looking for breakfast.

Bucky ends up deciding on a giant blueberry muffin while Steve gets himself two apple scones and they find an empty bench on the edge of the lot where the stalls are. It’s out of the way, but they still have a good view of all the hustle and bustle.

"Oh man, these are the best scones I've ever tasted," Steve says around a mouthful and Bucky grins.

"You may beat me in kitchen skills, but I am the master of finding good street food and take out," he brags.

“I will happily give you that crown,” Steve says, breaking off a morsel of flakey sweet goodness and holding it out to Bucky. Bucky takes it happily, bumping their shoulders together. “I’m always too scared to try street food. I think I’ve seen _way_ too many people come into the ER with food poisoning.”

“Pssh, amateurs,” Bucky scoffs. “Besides, no one is gonna get food poisoning from a farmer’s market.”

Steve sticks his tongue out, and swipes a tiny piece of Bucky’s muffin. “I think our whole courtship can be tracked through food,” he muses, swinging his feet happily.

Bucky laughs. "Now that you mention it. But hey, I really like food and I really like you, so I'm not complaining," he says happily.

"Yeah, me neither," Steve smiles. "I'd say your surprise totally worked out," he says and takes a sip of the truly delicious coffee. He'll have to bring Sam and Riley here sometime.

"Oh this isn't the surprise," Bucky says. "At least not the whole surprise."

"There's more?" Steve asks, eyebrows raised.

“Of course there’s more,” Bucky says with a smirk, and Steve feels another happy little bubble of excitement. He turns his attention back to his scone, leaning against Bucky’s side. There’s a light breeze blowing around them, just cool enough to make Steve glad he’d worn a sweater, and it keeps picking up Bucky’s scent, washing him in bright waves of happiness.

Bucky’s still a couple weeks out from his heat, by his own estimate, not near enough that his scent has started to change yet, but Steve’s so gone on him that even just the neutral scent, that specific defining mark that means _Bucky_ is enough to make Steve want to roll around with him. Add happiness to the mix and it’s like champagne bubbles under his skin.

“So where are we going?” he asks once his breakfast is gone. He hops down and steals Bucky’s hand, letting their wrists brush, glands rubbing together.

Bucky's eyes glaze over for a moment before he clears his throat and Steve feels a wave of pride that such a small gesture still has such an impact.

"Not telling. It's a short walk from here and you'll just have to be patient," he says smugly, swinging their hands in the air.

"Oh come on, don't I even get a hint?" Steve needles, but Bucky just shakes his head.

"Nope, you didn't even give me an inkling about my suprise, you already have a leg up because you know it's happening. And that face isn't gonna make me change my mind either, you look ridiculous," he says and pokes Steve, who had pulled his face into a very exaggerated pout, in the cheek.

Steve keeps grousing as they walk through the Manhattan streets, not yet too overrun with people. He starts to get an inkling of where they’re going as familiar sights appear around them, and by the time Bucky’s leading him towards the stone steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, he’s grinning like an idiot.

“I haven’t come to the Met in years, oh my god. I used to come all the time in when I was in college,” he says excitedly. “This is amazing, Bucky, perfect surprise.”

“There’s more,” Bucky promises, tugging him into the lobby, and points at the banner displaying the title of a special exhibit: _Turn of the Century – Alphonse Mucha and the Art Nouveau._

Steve looks at the banner and then at Bucky and then back at the banner, his mouth open in surprise.

"I didn't even know this was happening! How did you- ohmygod," he manages and Bucky just grins proudly.

"You're not the only one who can do stealthy detective work. I saw the pieces at your apartment."

"How'd you know it was mine though?" Steve asks, still awed.

"I am super good at guessing," Bucky says. "And I may or may not have seen a post it from Sam on one of the frames asking you to move it somewhere else because it feels like the lady is staring at him while he's watching TV and it makes him uncomfortable."

Steve grins. “I put it there on purpose because it creeps him out,” Steve says cheerfully, tugging Bucky towards the ticket line. “It keeps him and Riley from fucking on the couch.”

Bucky laughs, bright and delighted, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way that makes Steve’s stomach swoop. The line moves pretty quickly, so in no time at all they’re making their way to the specialty gallery.

“The thing that’s so interesting,” Steve explains as they walk, “Is that both Mucha and Bernhardt were supposedly betas. But she exerted this pull on him that would end up shaping a decade of art and architecture. There’s a lot of speculation that she was actually an Alpha, but hid it because she was determined to be an actress, and at the time all the parts for women were omega roles.”

"I think I might've skimmed through some of that information yeah," Bucky nods. "I gotta admit, I didn't know what this was at first, but someone in my Language Theory class had a flier for the show and I recognized the style. Figured it'd be something you'd enjoy," Bucky says, letting himself be led along the space.

"I do," Steve smiles and tugs Bucky a little closer to his side. "I'm very glad you brought me. I really would have missed it otherwise, what with work being crazy as hell all the time."

"I'm glad the surprise was successful. Though I gotta say, I was a little surprised that you like this. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but it's so... flowery," Bucky says.

Steve scoffs, making a face. “It’s elegant. Stylistically it was also groundbreaking for a lot of reasons. I like the colors more than anything though. It’s all warm, golds and reds and oranges. Even when they use other colors it just feels… magical, somehow. Otherworldly. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with flowers. Impressionists have more flowers than these guys.”

“All art has a lot of flowers,” Bucky mutters and at Steve’s face, he laughs. “I’m sorry. I am totally here to learn and expand my cultural horizons but closest I come to art is movie posters. I’m sure you noticed.”

“Oh but that’s part of what’s so cool about these!” Steve says excitedly, gesturing to a long print of a woman with bright whips of red hair. “They were posters for plays, and they brought art back into advertising. Without these who knows what movie posters would look like.”

"Huh, that's really cool. You know a lot about this, sounds a bit more than 'I just really like the colors'," Bucky comments.

"Well, yeah," Steve shrugs. "I've always been into art. Did a bit of drawing in high school and I kinda thought I was gonna be an artist one day, looked at schools and everything."

"What changed your mind?"

"I got sick a lot when I was little and as I said, my Ma's a nurse, so I was around hospitals a lot and got to see my mom in action. In the end I guess I just didn't feel like I had anything to contribute with my art. I wasn't bad, but I never really felt like I could have an impact with it. Nursing though, I knew how much I could help people if I decided to do that," Steve explains, feeling a bit sheepish.

Bucky smiles at him, fond, and Steve’s stomach swoops. “Do you still draw?” Bucky asks, curious and Steve nods tentatively.

“Like everything else in my life, it’s a matter of ‘when I have time’ which isn’t often. I’m more likely to want to go home from the hospital and crash or veg out on the couch than I am to want to sketch. But sometimes I do. Sometimes it’s nice, helps get me out of my head. I took a couple classes in college, just to fill up elective space, and I still like it.”

Bucky’s looking at him like he can’t quite believe Steve exists, and it makes him chuckle a little self consciously. “You’re quite something, Stevie,” Bucky says, quiet, and Steve brushes his wrist in fond affection because he doesn’t know what to say.

“C’mon, let’s look at the rest,” he says eventually, and leads Bucky down the gallery.

They walk through the exhibit hand in hand, Steve commenting on the artwork and Bucky listening intently, offering his own thoughts from time to time. It's the best Saturday he's had in awhile. It's still early in the day when they walk outside the museum and by the looks they keep shooting each other, it's clear neither of them wants to say goodbye.

"So um, this is all I had planned for our date, but we could go to my place if you wanted?" Bucky offers tentatively. "Or we could go somewhere else? Take a walk in the park?"

"No, your place is fine," Steve smiles. "It is Saturday after all, we should definitely camp out on the couch and cuddle."

“Okay,” Bucky agrees, happiness curling at the corners of his lips, the crinkles by his eyes, radiating in his scent.

They hop on the subway rather than retracing the route of their walk from the morning, and Steve’s happy to let Bucky take the lead on the best way to get home. They chat idly about the art they’ve seen, about life and work and school, lapsing into comfortable silence when the trains get loud or crowded.

Bucky’s building isn’t far from the train stop, another perk of it being such an expensive place, and Steve’s a little preoccupied trying to come up with a movie for them to pretend to watch while they cuddle and maybe make out a little. It takes him a minute to notice tension creep into Bucky’s body, until his steps actually slow down.

"Bucky?" he asks, frowning when he notices the discomfort on Bucky's face and in his scent. He turns to see what’s making Bucky upset, but the only thing he can see is a man loitering in front of the entrance to Bucky's building. Bucky doesn't answer, but the man turns around after a moment and his lips twitch up a little when he notices them.

"Hey Bucky," he greets and walks towards them.

"Hi Frank," Bucky says, and Steve feels his hackles rise despite himself, and he has to resist the urge to step in front of Bucky, shield him away from the competition.

“I just buzzed your apartment, but clearly you weren’t there,” Frank says, joking lightly as his eyes flick between Bucky and Steve. He’s not posturing, or doing anything that counts as aggressive, so Steve forces himself not to instigate either, stuffs his hands into his pockets so they won’t ball into fists or curl possessively around Bucky’s wrist.

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees, and he looks awkward, uncomfortable, shrinking in on himself. “What’s up, man? What can I do for you?”

“Oh, I just… your heat’s coming up, I thought I’d check and see if you wanted help with that, but it looks like you got it covered.” Frank's eyes flick to Steve again, and Steve can’t help himself, he growls a little, possessive and challenging.

Bucky's eyes flick to Steve in surprise and his shoulders loosen a little when he looks back at Frank. "Yeah, I- Thanks for the offer, but it doesn't seem like I'll be needing your help in the foreseeable future."

"That's cool," Frank nods. "You know where to find me if things change though."

"They won't," tumbles out of Steve's mouth gruffly before he can think about it and he abruptly closes it, biting down on his tongue so he doesn't step in it again.

Frank snorts out a laugh. "Yeah, doesn't look like it. Well, I won't overstay my welcome. I wish you all the best Bucky," he says and offers him a small smile that makes another rumble start in Steve's chest.

Steve watches Frank leave, knows how hostile he looks, but he’s so focused on making sure Frank gets out of sight that he actually jumps, startled, when Bucky touches his arm.

“Let’s go inside, he’s not gonna come back,” Bucky says gently, and shame floods Steve anew at how awful he just acted. Jesus, like Bucky’s a possession he owns, like someone else was trying to play with his toy.

He follows Bucky into the apartment, eyes fixed on his feet so he doesn’t have to meet Bucky’s gaze. Once they’re inside, he swallows and says “I’m sorry, Buck, I know that was uncalled for, I know, but he just showed up and… you're not his anymore!” He grimaces, wincing once the words are out of his mouth. He meant to go much more in the way of _'I'm sorry I got possessive in front of your ex, please forgive me’_ but that wasn’t quiet what came out.

Bucky just blinks at Steve, then gets this sweet little fond smile on his face, the one that softens up his eyes with crinkles and lives in the little curls at the edges of his mouth. “Steve,” he says gently. “I was never _his_ to start with. He was never anything more than convenient. I was using him as much as he was using me, we both knew that. I’ve never been anyone’s, not really.”

And Steve knows that, he does, but he’s still struck again with the spike of sadness, for Bucky having been alone so long, and pride that he could maybe be the one Bucky chooses to belong to.

"I know, I know that, but he's had his hands on you and I don't begrudge you your past or anything, but I- I don't like it, I don't like him near you," Steve says, feeling a little lost. He's never acted like this with any of his previous partners and he can't really tell if it's because they were mostly betas or because this is Bucky.

"You want me all to yourself, huh?" Bucky asks and he doesn't sound mad, which makes Steve hopeful.

“Maybe, a little bit,” Steve admits, then gets frustrated by himself all over again. “Not that I don’t want you to have friends! Or even Alpha friends, hell, my best friend’s a beta, I know friendships across designations are easier sometimes, he just… He’s knotted you!”

And that makes Bucky laugh, startled and delighted, and Steve glares at him sourly. “Pal, if you’re only worried about me hanging out with Alpha’s who have knotted me, you don’t gotta worry much at all. I don’t even know where most of them are.”

Steve can feel another growl rumbling in his chest just at the mention of others and he grits his teeth against it, but it's audible anyway. Shame washes over him, but Bucky looks a little like Christmas has come early.

"It's not funny," he says flatly.

"It's a little bit funny," Bucky grins. "It's also a little flattering, you being all jealous."

“I’m not a jealous guy!” Steve protests, and sighs. “Protective, yes. I don’t know. You make me…” he trails off, unsure of what he’s even thinking. Bucky makes him all kinds of things, happy, excited, protective, proud, and yes, jealous. But more than anything else- “You make me feel settled, peaceful. Maybe it’s bad, but I don’t want to share that.”

“It’s not bad,” Bucky says fondly, stepping in so he can nuzzle his nose against Steve’s, tilt his face asking to be kissed. “I’m happy that you want me so much.”

“It’s not just a matter of wanting,” Steve says absently, sliding his hands to cup Bucky’s waist. “I know how to deal with wanting things I can’t have. It’s that I know that I _can_ have it, so no one else gets to think they can.”

"They don't," Bucky says softly. "We haven't knotted yet or anything, but I've pretty much decided you're who I want when I told you I'd go through my heat alone if you didn't feel ready for that yet. I have no interest in being with anyone else."

"Good," Steve says and then immediately feels contrite. Bucky reaches over and rubs his finger over the furrow in between Steve's eyebrows.

"As I said, I like knowing that you want me. No one's ever wanted me for me before. Sure, they got pissy if it looked like another alpha was trying to ruin their chances of getting some that night, but it was never like this. I don't mind it."

Steve sighs, sliding his arms around Bucky’s waist and dropping his head onto Bucky’s collarbones. “You went to all the trouble of making this a perfect day for me and all I can think about is how I want to cover you in my scent.”

Bucky’s quiet for a minute, long enough for Steve to draw back and look at him. “I wouldn’t…. consider that a bad way for the date to end?” he admits, and Steve snickers.

“Mister Barnes, was all this lovely thoughtful planning just an elaborate attempt to get into my pants?”

"Can't fault a guy for tryin'," Bucky shrugs, but his grin is almost blinding and Steve is such a goner for this man.

"Well, you did put in a lot of effort, guess that deserves some sort of reward," he says thoughtfully.

"Yeah? You got anything in mind?" Bucky asks, eyebrows raised.

"I might have an idea or two," Steve grins and goes on his toes again so he can kiss Bucky softly.  
He means it to be a brief, soft thing, but Bucky’s eager for it, hungry, chasing Steve’s mouth in a way he never does. He might be eager, but despite being the driving force behind most of their sex life, Bucky’s never been pushy. Now, he’s chasing kisses, licking fleetingly at Steve’s lips and then parting his own like he’s trying to draw Steve into him.

“What’s gotten into you?” Steve murmurs against Bucky’s lips.

“Told you,” Bucky says, and then kisses him again. “I like knowing how much you want me.”

“It turned you on,” Steve accuses, realization hitting him with a laugh. “Me being all possessive at Frank got you going, didn’t it?”

"Yeah," Bucky says, not a hint of shyness present, just open honesty and want. "It really really did."

The admission and the look on Bucky's face floor Steve. It's heady, being on the receiving end of such desire from an omega and Steve doesn't really have it in him to resist.

"Then I guess I better finish what I started, huh?" he says, his hand trailing suggestively down Bucky's chest. "Show my sweetheart a good time, make him forget there was anyone else before me."

“Believe me,” Bucky murmurs, nosing along Steve’s hairline. “They’re not memories I’m that attached to.”

Steve rubs his hands along Bucky’s chest, thumbs stroking at the scent glands under his collarbones, and Bucky moans. Arousal spikes through his scent, and Steve suddenly can’t handle the space between them anymore. He loops his arms up around Bucky’s neck, hopping up and letting Bucky catch his weight as he tugs him into a hot, slick kiss.

“Couch?” Bucky pants into his mouth, and Steve nods.

Bucky carries him over to the couch and sits down, letting Steve settle over his thighs. Steve starts trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses down Bucky's neck, stopping at a spot parallel to the bonding gland on the other side of his neck and grazes his teeth over it lightly.

"Can I leave a mark?" he asks, enjoying the way Bucky shudders under him. Usually he's not one for possessive displays like this, but a part of him is still stuck on Frank, the obvious familiarity between him and Bucky, and he just wants to leave something behind, an obvious tell that Bucky has someone now.

"Yeah, yes, please," Bucky says and tilts his head so Steve has more room, and something inside Steve purrs as he starts sucking on the spot, biting down gently.

A secret thrill rushes through him as Bucky whimpers and goes lax, responding to the teeth on skin with complete, sweet submission. It’s heady, it’s fucking _hot_ and Steve growls a little, releasing the skin to bite again, just below it.

He sucks and bites a line of bruises down Bucky’s neck, tugging at the collar of his shirt so he can get at his collarbones, at the scent gland there. Bucky’s hand closes on his neck, keeping him there, and Steve throws caution to the wins and sinks his teeth into the meat of Bucky’s shoulder.

“ _Fuck_ “ Bucky whines, and Steve can feel his cock twitch where they’re pressed together.

“Mine,” he whispers against Bucky’s skin, and Bucky’s hips snap up.

Steve grinds down, starting up a rhythm, and Bucky's hands scrabble at his back as he moves in time with him.

"I wanna take your shirt off," Steve breathes, licking over his last bite. He wants access to all that pale skin, wants to taste and mark up every inch of it. Bucky stiffens under him, not in the good way, and his scent doesn't lose the lustful edge, but something is definitely dulling it, so Steve immediately pulls back, looking at Bucky imploringly.

"I-I want to, but my arm... it's not pretty," he says hesitantly.

Steve pauses, cupping Bucky’s neck. It had genuinely slips his mind, Bucky uses his left arm pretty much as well as he uses his right, the only time he’s ever made any indication of it bothering him was when Steve had tried to give him a shoulder rub.

“Does it still hurt you?” Steve asks, concerned, and Bucky shakes his head.

“No, at least not unless I’m way over exerting myself. It just doesn’t look good. It’s not… attractive.”

Steve scowls, brings his hand up to cup Bucky’s neck, thumbing along the bruises. “Somebody tell you that? Frank tell you that?”

“No,” Bucky deflects. “He never really had to.”

Steve regards Bucky for a moment before he leans in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "I'm attracted to you, physically and mentally, and that's not going to change just because one part of you supposedly isn't aesthetically pleasing."

"You haven't seen it yet," Bucky says dubiously.

"No, but I've seen many injuries in my line of work, I don't get deterred so easily," Steve says.

Bucky still looks unsure, but he seems to come to a conclusion and sits up a little so he can pull his shirt off. He doesn't look at Steve when he tosses it to the side, so Steve allows himself a moment to look.

There’s a patch of angry red scarring running from just under Bucky’s collarbones to down the center of his left bicep. He thinks he recognizes some of the more uniform patches as what might be found in a joint replacement surgery, and the rest as the kind of scarring that might come from a burn. _Jesus_ , no wonder he’d been in the hospital for months.

Carefully, Steve leans in to kiss along the undamaged skin on the top of his shoulder, down the front where the discoloration begins.

“Tell me if I hurt you,” Steve says seriously, and hesitantly, Bucky nods.

“It honestly doesn’t hurt me that much,” he says, and Steve hums.

“Okay,” he acknowledges, and then cups Bucky’s jaw, nudging him up to meet his gaze. “I still want you. Still want you to be mine.”

Bucky lets out a shuddering breath and his eyes get a definite sheen to them, but he leans forward, catching Steve's lips in a kiss and for once, Steve's okay with letting it drop, chooses to lose himself in the kiss. His hands come up to Bucky's naked chest, fingers tracing the firm muscle, and when his thumb drags over a nipple, Bucky moans into the kiss, arching into it.

"You like that, huh?" Steve asks, teasing his thumb over the nipple again, a pleased smile on his face.

Bucky shivers and Steve leans in to lick over the bruises he left on his skin, moving downward until he can swirl his tongue around the other nipple.

Bucky’s breath punches out of him, his chest arching off the couch, pushing towards Steve’s mouth and hands. “So sensitive,” Steve praises, pulling back, rubbing at both of Bucky’s nipples with his thumbs as he meets his eyes. They’re blown black, slim rims of grey around wide pupils. “‘m I making you wet, honey?”

“Yes,” Bucky pants, hips pushing up off the couch, and Steve grins, wolfish.

“Just for me?” he asks, pinching a little, and Bucky whines, nodding. “Why’s that, huh? Why’s that, baby?"

"B-Because I'm yours," Bucky stutters out, blinking up at Steve with such adoration in his eyes, Steve can barely handle it.

"That's right, you're mine, and I am going to take such good care of you, make you feel so good sweetheart," he promises, trailing one hand down to cup Bucky's cock through the fabric of his pants.

Bucky immediately pushes up into his hand and Steve rubs at the bulge for a moment, watching as Bucky's eyes flutter shut in pleasure, his head falling back and putting the marks Steve left on his neck on display.

“God, you are beautiful,” Steve whispers, more to himself than Bucky, but he can feel the way Bucky’s cock twitches in his hand in response. He grins wolfishly, and leans down to lick at one of the bites he left. “So pretty and sweet, and all mine. Getting all wet and hard for me, so good.”

Bucky squirms, tipping his hips up and spreading his legs invitingly. It does some very interesting and mouth watering things to the muscles in his stomach, so Steve leans down to nip his teeth in there too, into the warm skin below Bucky’s belly button, biting across the line of his pants to the deep V of his pelvis.

“Want me to suck your cock, baby?” Steve asks, rubbing at it again. “This pretty little thing, so slender and sweet, bet you’d fit in my mouth real nice. Or I could lick you were you’re all wet and open and needy, make you forget any Alpha who’s not me. What do you think honey?”

"You want that? You'd really?" Bucky asks and Steve straightens up for a moment so he can look at Bucky.

"Of course I want it. I want all of you, want to taste you. Bet you taste good baby," he says and moves his hands to start unbuttoning Bucky's pants. "So which one will it be? I don't really have a preference, I just really want to get my mouth on you."

Bucky whimpers, swallowing heavily, and he looks torn, and Steve smiles.

"You want both, is that it?" he asks teasingly.

"I've never- no one's really wanted to suck my cock before," Bucky finally gets out.

Steve makes a disapproving sound, stretching up so he can kiss Bucky. Which is totally distracting, and he ends up spending a good five minutes just cradling his sweet omega’s face with his hands and kissing him. _Not even betas?_ he wants to ask, has a hard time believing no one has wanted to give Bucky pleasure this way before.

When he pulls away, thumbs brushing Bucky’s cheeks, he says seriously “I want to make you feel good every way I can. And yeah, maybe your body’s built so that having something inside you feels better than not, but you’ve got so many other experiences to have too. Besides,” he points out, sitting back and tugging at the waistband of Bucky’s pants until he lifts his hips up. “I can give you my fingers while I suck you and see how we can really get you going.”

Bucky makes an approving sound and Steve gives him another smile before he slides off the couch and moves Bucky's legs so he can pull his jeans and boxers off.

He settles in between Bucky's legs when he's finally naked, running his hands over Bucky's thighs as he takes him all in for the first time. "Look at you," he murmurs. "So gorgeous and all mine."

Bucky's already flushed from arousal, but the way he dips his head shyly is a tell that he's likely blushing as well and Steve's heart thumps in his chest at the sweetness of it all.

He leans forward to place a kiss on Bucky's inner thigh, one kiss turning into two, three, until he can lean lean in and nuzzle at Bucky's cock gently.

Bucky whimpers a little, soft, and Steve murmurs soothingly, rubbing his hands along the muscles in Bucky’s thighs. “Anything you don’t like, tell me and I’ll stop,” he says firmly, staring at Bucky until he nods. Steve grins, and then turns his attention to Bucky’s cock.

It really is as gorgeous as the rest of him, the slender, uniform shaft with it’s delicate veins, flushed red to the same shade as Bucky’s kiss-bitten lips. It’s warm and solid in his hand, without the loose skin at the base for a knot to go. It’s the perfect size to fit in Steve’s hand, longer and thicker than the last omega he’d been with, and excitement lances through Steve’s stomach. It’s been awhile since he’s done this, and he won’t even pretend that it doesn’t turn him on.

He licks over the head first, putting just the tip in his mouth, and sucks lightly. Bucky lets out a surprised moan and Steve takes it as encouragement, taking more of his cock before he slides back up, bobbing up and down slowly.

"S-Steve," Bucky whimpers, his hands scrabbling against the couch cushions, like he's not sure what to do with them, and Steve reaches out to grab one, tangles their fingers together and holds on.

His other hand is still wrapped around the base of Bucky's cock and he starts moving it in counterpoint to his mouth, trying to gauge what will feel better for Bucky.

Down here, tucked between Bucky’s thighs, he can’t help but be flooded with the warm sugary sweetness of Bucky’s scent. He can _smell_ his arousal, he can smell Bucky slicking up and getting wet, it’s making his mouth water. He wants his fingers in him, wants his cock in him, god, Steve wants to fuck this man and tie in him and make him come on his knot, it’s almost a little scary how much he wants.

“Steve,” Bucky pants again, and Steve can feel Bucky’s hand brush his shoulder like he wants to touch but doesn’t know if he can. Steve hums in encouragement, sliding his hand from around the base of Bucky’s dick to rest flat on his stomach. It’s not too hard to work up to taking Bucky’s dick all the way in his mouth, just the perfect size to sit on his tongue and nudge the back of his throat. Bucky swears a blues streak and then begs “Can I have your fingers? Please, you said I could, I’ll be good, please, can I have them?”

Steve pulls off Bucky's cock a little reluctantly and rubs at his belly soothingly when Bucky makes an unhappy noise.

"I'll get back to it sweetheart and I'll give you my fingers too, just gotta move you a little," he soothes. He hooks his arms under Bucky's thighs, pulling his ass closer to the edge of the cushion and then spreads his legs, making the soles of his feet rest against the couch so he stays spread open.

"There you go," he says, pleased. "Now I get to play with your pretty little hole," he says and reaches out, sliding a finger between Bucky's cheeks.

Bucky makes a shocked, hungry sound, as Steve’s fingers slip over his entrance, swollen blood warm and slick, and Steve’s mouth waters again. “Poor baby, you really need it don’t you?” he murmurs, leaning down to lick a stripe up Bucky’s cock, and Bucky nods vigorously.

“Need you,” Bucky agrees, hand reaching for Steve’s again, and he takes it. “‘m yours, lemme be yours, please.”

“You are,” Steve promises, and slips one finger in, easy as anything. Bucky’s back bows in response, and Steve’s cock gives its first real cry for attention, at how warm and wet and responsive his omega is. “All mine, look how good you are, getting all wet and open for me. Gonna make you come for me too.”

"Yes, please," Bucky begs and Steve carefully adds a second finger to the first, making sure Bucky is comfortable with that before he pumps them in and out experimentally.

The needy moan that tumbles out of Bucky's mouth is almost his undoing and Steve's hips twitch forward, looking for friction, any kind of relief, but he ignores it. There'll be time for that later.

Instead he looks up at Bucky, looks at his face, his dark eyes, his soft lips parted as he breathes heavily, his chest, flushed and heaving, down to his hips, thrusting down to meet his fingers helplessly and his flushed cock, standing proudly and begging for more attention.

Steve leans forward, takes Bucky’s cock into his mouth, and after dragging this out for so long, he doesn’t have it in him to tease anymore. He just focuses on the soft sounds Bucky’s making, the responses of his body as Steve fucks him with three fingers where he’s hot and open, sucking his cock with everything he’s got.

“Oh, god,” Bucky moans, head tipped all the way back, the long beautiful column of his throat on display when Steve looks up from under his lashes, and Steve is going to lose his goddamn _mind_.

It’s all a race to the finish line from that point, and he can tell the moment before Bucky’s going to come, his mouth falling open on a keen and a hot red blush staining his cheeks and chest. His hips drive up into Steve’s mouth, then down onto his fingers, clamping down hard trying to lock a knot that’s not there.

He makes a small noise as his whole body tenses up and he's spilling into Steve's mouth. Steve swallows carefully, working Bucky through it until he slumps back into the couch and then he pulls off slowly, keeping his fingers inside him. Bucky looks completely blissed out when Steve looks up at him and he can't help but feel proud that he's the one who made him that way.

He doesn't want to bring Bucky out of it yet, but his own hard on is harder to ignore now that he's not focusing on Bucky anymore, and he can't help but move a little closer, press himself against the couch as he nuzzles at Bucky's thigh.

Bucky makes a soft interrogative sound, reaching for Steve a little blissfully. "You wanna tie me?" he asks sleepily, and it's tempting, God is it tempting. He could just sink right in, bury himself into that hot sweet space and tie with this beautiful omega.

But he doesn't want it to be like this, the first time they tie, with Bucky half asleep from orgasm, and Steve jealous from another Alpha. "No, baby, I'm okay," he soothes rubbing his palms along Bucky's thighs. Bucky's gaze sharpens, looking at Steve with cautious, pointed want.

"I wanna get you off too," he says, voice sure. "I want to be as good to you as you are to me."

"You don't have to though, I can take care of myself," Steve says, and he means it. He'd happily get himself off just watching Bucky all happy and sated.

"I don't want you to," Bucky says, a stubborn edge to his voice as he tugs at Steve's shoulders. Steve doesn't really bother to resist, lets himself be pulled up and closer so Bucky can kiss him.

He means the kiss to be slow, but as soon as Bucky's mouth is on his, he's hungry for it, for Bucky's mouth, anything his omega is willing to give him. He gets so lost in it he barely notices Bucky fumbling with his pants and he lets out a low groan when Bucky wraps his fingers around his cock.

Bucky’s hand is sure, firm on him, cupping the base and working the loose skin with one hand, reaching down with the other to work the head, and Steve’s brain sort of shorts out.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, hot into Bucky’s mouth and he can feel the curl of Bucky’s smile against his lips.

“Gonna show me this knot?” Bucky breathes, and Steve moans, helpless. “Come on, Steve, I’ll hold you all nice and tight, make your knot feel so good.”

“If I come like this it’s gonna get all over you,” he pants, and it’s meant to be a warning, but it sends a curl of possessiveness down Steve’s spine, the idea of marking Bucky up like that. 

Bucky whines, and it’s probably a little bit for Steve's benefit, but his eyes are hot and his hands are tight on Steve’s cock, working it perfectly in his sure grip. He still smells like arousal, like sugar and sex, and Steve groans, gives in and buries his face in Bucky’s neck where the smell is strongest. “Please, baby, please make me smell like you,” Bucky murmurs into his ear, and that’s it, Steve’s _gone_ , orgasm rippling through through him from his toes up until his hair feels like it’s tingling.

It lasts and lasts, Bucky’s hand tight around the swell of his knot, letting it take and complete, drawing it out into the kind of orgasm that satisfies something primal in Steve. The same part of him that loves the smell of his own come dripping onto Bucky’s stomach, marking him.

It takes a moment for him to realize Bucky’s still talking, murmuring to Steve as he gentles him through it. “Such a big knot, can’t wait to have it, can’t wait to tie for real and feel it in me.”

“Soon,” Steve says dazedly, nuzzling at Bucky’s collarbones, and he can feel the vibration of Bucky laughing at him. “God, you smell good.”

“I smell like you,” Bucky says fondly, nosing at his cheek, and Steve hums happily. 

“Is it bad that I just want to lay here and be gross and scent mark you for the rest of the day,” he asks, dragging his jaw along Bucky’s collarbone again. Bucky laughs again, giving his knot one final fond squeeze before letting go. 

Steve sighs, sitting back, while Bucky reaches over and grabs his discarded under shirt, wiping away most of the mess on his stomach and between his legs. Then he flops back onto the couch, holding his arms open in obvious invitation, and Steve grins. He wiggles out of his own clothes, then crawls into Bucky’s arms, sighing happily at the feel of skin on skin.

“This has been the best day,” he says happily, and Buckys, reaching around him to grab the TV remote and flick it on. 

“It really has,” he agrees, and Steve smiles, reaches back to snag blanket off the back of the couch to stave off the cold, and settles in to enjoy the afterglow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final lap to the approaching heat begins.

Bucky tends to wear long sleeves, at least he has most of the time Steve’s known him, when the weather has been cold enough to permit it. But when he hits pre-heat, still a week or so out from the heat itself, even as his body starts giving off all the tell-tale signs of _getting ready for it_ , he meets up with Steve for a date in a loose denim button down with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. It’s probably because he’s running a little hotter than usual, but the unconscious side-effect of this is that there’s no barrier between the skin on his wrists and the air.

Steve doesn't notice it instantly, just goes in for their customary hug. It isn’t until Bucky brings his arms up around Steve’s shoulders, he's hit with a wall of pre-heat omega scent and he clutches Bucky tight instinctively, plans for their date almost forgotten in his need to take Bucky somewhere private where no one else can smell him. But even if Bucky likes him being possessive, he refuses to descend that far into dominating-alpha-madness. Besides, when he draws back Bucky’s looking a little sheepish.

“I know the scent’s probably really strong,” he says apologetically, covering his right wrist with his left hand self-consciously. “But I tried to put on a jacket when I left this morning, and I swear I felt like I was dying. I might seriously pass out on the subway if I don’t let the extra heat vent off somehow.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Steve says, concerned, sliding his hands down to feel the warm skin on his forearms. “Is it always this strong in pre-heat?”

Bucky nods. "I was kind of hoping it'd ease up once I was out of puberty, but it's the same every time. I have central air and fans at home for when the pre-heat gets really bad, but I can't really carry them around when I go out," he tries to joke.

Steve frowns. "I would've come to your place if you'd mentioned it. We could still go there now if you'd rather."

"No," Bucky shakes his head. "It's fine if I dress right and besides, I can't exactly hole up for two weeks when the time rolls around, I can deal with it."

“At least your heats are consistent?” Steve offers, sliding his hand down Bucky’s forearm to link their hands together, leading him towards the restaurant. “My ruts were really unpredictable in my early 20s. It’s leveled out, but man that was a pain.”

“Super predictable,” Bucky says, a surprising note of bitterness in his voice. “I was held up in the hospital with my arm all messed up and a head full of the last Alpha I’d had pushing me through a heat when I didn’t want it, and I still got hit. That’s the only heat I have ever spent alone, and I was on medical grade heat-reducers the whole time. It’s just a painful, lonely blur in my memory.”

Steve squeezes Bucky's hand supportively. "Our bodies sometimes don't really behave as we want them too," he says sympathetically. He doesn't say anything more as they enter the restaurant and are shown to their table. A couple of heads turn their way when they pass and Steve pushes away the gnawing in his chest that wants to make an obvious show of the fact that Bucky is his and his alone.

Bucky gives him a wry smile as they sit down, he's obviously noticed it too, and he seems apologetic about it, like it hasn't occurred to him that it might be an issue before now. "Going to a crowded restaurant probably wasn't the best idea, huh?'

“You’ve never noticed this happening before?” Steve asks, curious, because it’s not like Bucky’s intentionally scenting up the place, or even close enough to heat for it to be socially unacceptable for him to be out and about. If Steve was in public and came across someone smelling like Bucky, he’d probably simply notice it, and then move on with his life. But he would definitely notice it.

“It was never a bad thing before?” Bucky says, and he’s sounds a little guilty. “When I was younger I was looking for attention as much as the Alphas around were looking to give it to me. Recently, well… I’ve gotten better at getting rid of unwanted attention, since Brock. But if people were looking at me, it was fine. I wasn’t someone else’s omega, so no harm in being noticed. Honestly, I hate being cooped up for as long as I end up being during the heat itself. If I have to stop living my life in pre-heat, I’m gonna go nuts.”

Steve immediately reaches over the table to take hold of Bucky's hand. "I don't want you to stop living your life on my account, ever," he says honestly. "I'm not gonna pretend it doesn't bother me that other people look at you, but that's the Alpha instincts talking and I don't intend to let them take over. I'm not going to restrict you in any way, even if we become even more serious in the future, and I'm especially not going to do it over something you have no control over."

Bucky stares at him for a moment, before his lips quirk up into a smile. "You're kinda perfect, you know that?"

Steve can feel himself scowl. “Any Alpha who wouldn’t do the same isn’t worth your time. Riley would never expect that of Sam!”

“Sam’s a beta,” Bucky points out with a little laugh. “He doesn’t get heats.”

“That’s not the point and you know it.”

“I know that in your world there are Alphas who aren’t ruled by their instincts. It just seems like a fairy tale world sometimes,” Bucky says, looking down and away. Steve sighs, because they’ve run circles around this topic before, and Steve’s insistence is nothing in the face of Bucky’s lifetime of behavioral enforcement. The best he can do is keep making sure Bucky’s introduced to good people, and not get frustrated with him in the meantime.

He squeezes Bucky's hand to get him to look up and gives him a reassuring smile, and then changes the topic to the food they're going to order. They chat about about their days as they wait and things seem okay again until Steve starts noticing the guy one table away from them keeps looking at Bucky. He ignores it, just wanting a peaceful rest of the night, but it gets harder when the guy starts openly staring.

"Ignore him," Bucky says when their dessert arrives and Steve's really trying, but it's not even a matter of someone looking at his omega anymore as much as it being plain creepy and rude.

Steve grits his teeth, and tries to drag his focus away from the other Alpha. They’re sharing a slice of chocolate cake, Bucky offers him a bite off his fork, trying to be playful despite the clear lines of tension in his shoulders.

He thinks they might actually make it, finish the meal and get out of the crowd before anything escalates too far, but once Steve hands the waiter his card to pay, the other guy seems to make up his mind about something. He stands up, coming towards them, and Steve can see Bucky’s knuckles go white as he clenches his napkin in his hand.

“I hope you know you can do better,” the other Alpha sneers to Bucky and and Steve draws a deep breath in through his mouth, willing himself not to react, not to ruin Bucky’s night.

“I really don’t think I can,” Bucky says coldly, glaring at the guy.

The man snorts in disbelief. "A runt like that? You can definitely do better. Someone who can take care of you properly."

"He takes care of me fine," Bucky replies tersely as Steve can feel his hackles rising. He's been called a runt before and he'd like to say he's matured enough not to react to it anymore, but that would be a lie.

"Sure. He rich or something? He pay you to come here with him? I've been trying to wrack my brain all evening and it's the only thing that makes sense," the guy says and Steve is barely holding back from swinging at the guy.

Bucky, on the other hand, straight up laughs in the guy’s face. “It’s cute that you think I’d need him to pay for me. Real cute. I didn’t make to to 32 by relying on shitty Alphas to give me my rent money, pal. Believe me, I’ve had guys like you before, and I’ll tell you a secret. You’re all the same, and not as good as you think you are.”

Steve blinks at Bucky, floored. He’s never actually seen the other man go off at someone before, even that first night when he’d stepped in when Bucky was being bothered in the club, he’d gotten involved before Bucky’d had a chance to say much. _I’ve gotten better at getting rid of unwanted attention,_ Bucky had said. Better indeed.

“He can’t stand up for himself? Needs his omega to do it for him.”

“He’s more eloquent than I am,” Steve says magnanimously, leaning back in his chair and playing along with Bucky’s angle. “Plus, it’s not me you came over here to talk to.”

The guy looks from Bucky and then to Steve, obviously thrown by how the conversation has turned, Bucky just gives him a withering look.

"You got anything more to contribute pal?" he asks. "Because as fun as this is, I'm not suddenly gonna change my mind and throw myself at your feet, and we have after dinner plans that we'd like to get to. Plans that don't include you."

"You bitch," the guy spits and Steve sits up in case the guy suddenly turns violent. He has no doubt that Bucky could defend himself if need be, but he's not gonna sit back and let it happen if it does.

“Classic,” Bucky rolls his eyes, and Steve worries for a moment that he’s going to end up provoking the guy himself, but then he just turns back to Steve. “You’re going to tip on your card, right? We can meet the waiter at the host stand on the way out.”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees, gathering up his jacket. He still puts himself between Bucky and the other Alpha as they walk away, but the guy just mutters under his breath and lets them leave.

It’s not until they’re out in the cool night air that Steve notices the fine tremor in Bucky’s muscles, shaking so minutely it could be passed off for shivering if his skin weren’t still warm to the touch.

“Oh, baby, c’mere,” Steve whispers, horrified, going up on his toes so he can loop his arms around Bucky’s neck and draw him into a hug.

Bucky folds into him, holding on tightly as he buries his head in Steve's shoulder the best as he can.

"It's okay, it's over. You put him in his place and it's over," he says softly as he runs his fingers through Bucky's hair.

"It's never going to be over," Bucky mumbles. "There's always going to be assholes like him and I keep telling them to fuck off, but there's always one more. I'm so tired of it."

Steve swallows, heart in his throat. “Next time I can punch him for you?” he offers, and Bucky laughs weakly.

“Somehow I don’t think that would make things better.”

He’s right of course, hitting the guy in the middle of a crowded restaurant would have only escalated the situation. At best, Steve would have probably needed a trip to the hospital, at worst, gotten arrested for assault. At the very least, it would have reduced Bucky to an object to be fought over, instead of a person with agency in his own life. It’s better that it played out this way, but that doesn’t stop Steve from feeling like he failed, somehow, failed to protect Bucky from this.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart,” he whispers.

“Is it me? Is there something wrong with me that makes bad people want me?” Bucky whispers, and Jesus, he sounds like he’s crying.

"No, baby, no, there's nothing wrong with you," Steve says, holding on tighter. "You've had bad luck with people, but none of that's on you."

"Brock was," Bucky hiccups. "Everyone else could see it, but I didn't. I didn't listen and then he-" his voice breaks off and Steve shakes his head furiously.

"No. No, that wasn't your fault. You trusted him and he took advantage of that. That's not on you."

“I want to go home,” Bucky mutters, pulling away, scrubbing his hands over his face, crossing his arms defensively over his chest. “I think I need to go home. I shouldn’t have come out tonight, I’m sorry, Steve. I should have known better. But everything went fine at school, I assumed I must not be scenting too bad…”

“Good,” Steve says firmly. “I’m glad your classmates aren’t assholes. Bucky, this wasn’t your fault.”

Bucky looks down and away, still hunched defensively in on himself. Steve steps in, cupping Bucky’s cheek with one hand, his exposed wrist with the other. “I’m still sorry I ruined your night,” Bucky whispers.

“You didn’t,” Steve promises. “I’ll take you home if that’s what you want, hold you all night if that’s what you want, or leave you alone. Or we can go to the movies like we planned. Whatever you want.”

"I don't think I'm up for a movie tonight, I'm sorry," Bucky says quietly and Steve shakes his head.

"That's fine. We can go some other time, it's not that important. Come on, we'll call an Uber," he says and gently tugs Bucky down the street. Bucky follows him silently and doesn't speak even when they get into their ride. The driver luckily doesn't pay them any mind and it's an uneventful and quiet ride.

Steve thanks the driver and gets out with Bucky when they reach his building, but hesitates instead of just following Bucky inside.

"I can catch a train back to mine, I understand if you don’t feel like having company," he offers.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Bucky admits, then amends. “Unless you want to.”

The truth is, Steve would have had to drag himself away from Bucky’s place in a truly grueling exercise of willpower, if Bucky had wanted him to go. Instead, he just steps up to take Bucky’s hand and follows Bucky to his condo. It looks as neat as ever, but the fact that Bucky just kicks off his shoes in front of the door instead of putting them in the hall closet tells Steve enough about where Bucky’s head is at.

The air is chilly in the apartment, the temperature for the central air turned down, and Steve assumes that’s in deference to Bucky’s raised body temperature. He considers asking to borrow a sweater, but then decides he’d rather just steal warmth from the man himself.

He makes for the couch, but Bucky tugs on his sleeve and stops him. "I was thinking we could just go to bed?" he says a little hesitantly. "It's more comfortable than the couch."

Steve gives him a slow smile and then nods. "Lead the way," he says and follows Bucky across the living room to his bedroom door. He's never been in here before, so he takes a quick look around (the room is just as neat as the rest of the apartment), but decides to leave further investigation for later. Bucky needs him right now.

Bucky lays down on top of the covers, tugging Steve after him, and then immediately burrows into his side.

He was right that Bucky would have enough body heat to share, within minutes of settling down the last of the chill from outside has been chased away by the warm body tucked alongside his.

“You comfortable?” Steve asks, at a loss for what else to say, and Bucky just nods mutely. Steve lets him lay in silence for a couple more minutes, rubbing the warm exposed skin on Bucky’s arm with his far hand and trying to parse what Bucky’s scent is doing.

It’s a complicated mix of emotions, but more than anything he just seems sad. Steve has no idea what to do, feels utterly helpless.

"What can I do?" he asks when they've just lain in silence for a while.

"You don't have to do anything, this is enough," Bucky answers, but he can probably sense that it's not good enough for Steve. "There's nothing you can do Steve," he sighs. "It's... my life is complicated and I've learned to deal with it, but sometimes it’s just too much. And today, I've already been feeling off because of the oncoming heat and I just wanted a nice evening with you and then it all went to shit."

"I'm sorry," Steve says softly. "I know it's not really my fault, but I wanted the evening to go well too."

Bucky rubs his face against Steve’s neck, and Steve feels the damp wetness of tears against his skin. “Oh, baby,” he murmurs, rolling them over until he can snuggle close to Bucky, kiss his face.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky chokes out. “It’s the pre-heat. Every six months I pretty much start crying when I drop a spoon or whatever.”

“It’s okay,” Steve murmurs, stroking his hand through Bucky’s hair. “It’s okay. I got you, honey.”

It takes a while before Bucky is all cried out and Steve comforts him through it the best he can, holding him close, stroking his hair, placing gentle kisses on his face. When Bucky is down to occasional sniffles, he gently wipes at his cheeks and Bucky looks away, obviously embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," he says again. "I'm sure you didn't sign up for a night of me crying all over you."

"I think I kinda did when we got serious about each other," Steve says softly.

Bucky draws in a deep breath, and then blows it out, sitting up and out of Steve’s arms. “I’m going to go wash my face,” he says quietly. “You need anything? Coffee or tea or something?”

“I’m okay,” Steve assures, reaching up to brush Bucky’s hair behind his ear. Bucky smiles at him, small but sincere. He leans down, brushing a kiss against Steve’s lips, then gets up off the bed.

Stretching the kink out of his back from laying hunched over for a while, Steve sits up, taking the opportunity to glance around the room. This room is somehow less personal than the rest of the condo, without any of the posters or bookmarked books or school notebooks that you can see around the rest of the place. Bucky’s bedroom looks like it could have come from a catalogue.

He's still wondering about that when Bucky comes back, looking a little sheepish, but better than before. He plops himself back on the bed, leaning against the headboard, so Steve follows, tucking Bucky into his side.

"Thanks for... for putting up with my crying I guess," Bucky says and Steve kisses his forehead.

"Nothing to thank for, I'm here if you need me," Steve smiles and is happy to note that Bucky's scent is clearer now too, not happy, but calm.

“We can watch a movie here, if you want?” Bucky offers, nodding over to his desk where his laptop is sitting. “Just on Netflix or whatever.”

“Works for me,” Steve agrees, mostly for the background noise, for an excuse to cuddle up together so early in the evening. “Do you uh, mind if I borrow a pair of pants again?”

“Of course,” Bucky laughs. “No, you’ve gotta sleep in your jeans.”

He tosses a pair of PJ’s at Steve, light cotton in deference to the fact that he’s basically going to be cuddled up to a human space heater. Steve wriggles out of his jeans, sliding into Bucky’s PJs, and then makes grabby hands for Bucky, who laughs a little, snuggling back up to Steve’s side.

They click to some random historical drama, and Steve lets himself get lost in Bucky’s scent, the rhythm of his breath, the feel of him against his side. It’s a warm, soft weight against Steve’s body and it’s so distracting he doesn’t even try to fight it. “Hey Buck,” he whispers, and Bucky hums a soft acknowledgement. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

Bucky freezes in his arms and moves so he can look at Steve, eyes wide. "You mean that?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah," Steve smiles. "I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I know what I'm feeling and I'm falling fast, Mr. Barnes."

Bucky stares at him and his eyes are welling up again, making a spike of worry shoot through Steve regardless of the tender moment. "No one's said that to me before," Bucky whispers and a tear gets loose, running down his cheek. Steve gathers Bucky up close again and Bucky clings to him tightly.

"I think... I might-" Bucky starts, but no more words come.

"Shh, that's okay, you don't have to say anything back, I just wanted you to know," Steve says gently.

“I fucking hate heats, oh my god, I’m such a mess,” Bucky sobs into Steve’s shoulder, and Steve laughs, rubbing Bucky’s back.

“You’re allowed, your brain’s basically hormone soup at the moment,” Steve coaxes, tipping Bucky’s face up to kiss him again.

“Thank you,” Bucky sighs, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder again. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Steve promises, sliding his hand up the back of Bucky’s shirt to rest on his back, placing his palm on the soft skin.

"Mmn, that feels nice," Bucky sighs and rubs his cheek against Steve's shoulder like a cat.

"Yeah?" Steve chuckles.

"Mhmm, your hands are cold, feels good."

"I think this is the first time anyone's been glad that I have freezing hands," Steve snorts.

"'s not so nice otherwise no, but it's perfect now. 'specially if you put it on my lower back. Like that, yeah," Bucky sighs when Steve moves his hand there.

Bucky hums happily, and Steve can imagine how overheated he must feel, the skin warm and tacky with sweat. “Are you gonna be okay missing class for the heat?” he asks, because they’re close enough now that he put in a partner-accommodation request at the hospital.

“Yeah,” Bucky sighs, rubbing his face against Steve’s neck again. “There were no problems except that one teacher who hates omegas, and there’s not much he can do to give me shit besides not give me an extension on the paper we’ve got coming up and at this point, I don’t think a single week one way or the other is going to matter that much.”

“I bet he’d give an Alpha in rut an extension,” Steve mutters darkly, and Bucky laughs.

“Probably,” Bucky agrees. “Was your work okay?”

"Yeah. They don't make a fuss as long as you put in the paperwork ahead of time, so other people can be on call. If anything, everyone was super happy that I apparently have a personal life now," Steve says, slightly annoyed. You'd think for a bunch of highly trained medical professionals his coworkers would be less gossipy.

"Aww," Bucky coos. "You were all work and no play before me, huh?"

"Pretty much," Steve can't help but agree. "You know first hand how crazy my shifts can be, there's not much energy left after to go dating."

“I dunno,” Bucky says, genuinely puzzled. “I know that part of the reason it works for us is because I’m more flexible because of classes than I would be if a I had a 9-5 job. But I honestly have never felt like you don’t have time or energy for me.”

Steve’s heart flops in his chest, squeezing tight. “I’m glad. It also helps that you’ll come to the hospital if I can’t get away.”

“I’ve got to save you from hospital food. It’s my solemn duty as an escapee from extended care that I make sure you have options.”

"And I am very grateful for that," Steve chuckles. "Actually, some of the nurses at my station are totally jealous of that. They keep calling you hot sandwich guy and giving me dirty looks when I throw away the wrappers to what is obviously not hospital food."

"Hot sandwich guy? Seriously?" Bucky laughs.

"Yep. I mean, you don't always bring me sandwiches, but I think it's rather fitting," Steve says teasingly.

“Hey, I’ll take it,” Bucky grins, and his scent is losing the melancholy from earlier in the night. “I can think of worse ways to be known to your co-workers.”

“Sharon’s mostly just glad I’ve got someone, but the others are just trying to live vicariously through me. Half of them are my mom’s age and would love to have a hot guy bringing them food. Which is weird, since half of _them_ have known me since I was a kid and my mom was working in the hospital.”

Bucky squints at him. “Yeah, I can see that being weird.”

"They mean well, but I could deal with a bit less interest in my personal life," Steve sighs.

"Aww, poor Stevie," Bucky coos. "C'mere, I'll protect you from gossipy old ladies," he says and pulls Steve close.

Steve laughs. "Gonna be my big strong man?"

"Well, I already keep you in good food, might as well act as an old lady shield too," Bucky says, scenting happiness all over the place now.

They quiet down again, finally tuning back into the movie. Steve can tell that Bucky’s actually gotten sucked into it because he stops fidgeting, stops nuzzling against Steve or angling for his hands. Steve feels a swell of affection for his movie buff omega. He himself has never had more than a passing interest in film, more interested in visual art, using movies as easy entertainment and background noise. He’ll watch every movie under the sun with Bucky though, would listen to Bucky talk about cinematography for hours just to watch him light up.

He drifts a little towards the second half of the movie, having missed way too much of the plot to keep up. Instead he lets his eyes fall shut and focuses on the warmth of Bucky’s skin under his hand, the fluctuation in his scent. He starts to doze soon. Bucky's bed is soft and the man is radiating heat from where he's plastered along Steve’s body and it's hard to keep his eyes open when he feels so comfortable.

He still catches flashes of the movie, but next thing he knows, Bucky is sitting up so he can put the laptop away.

"The movie over?" Steve asks sleepily and stretches. Bucky settles back down next to him, putting a warm hand on his exposed lower belly and Steve hums as he rolls closer to him.

"Yeah," Bucky smiles. "You conked out about halfway through."

“Sorry,” he mutters sleepily, rubbing his face against Bucky chest, smearing scent. Bucky makes a happy noise, cuddling in close.

“It’s fine,” Bucky says, and he sounds honest. “You were all cuddly, it was nice.” He’s quiet for few beats, and Steve drifts back towards sleep again when Bucky says. “I like having you here.”

“Me too, baby,” Steve agrees. “Have me for a whole week during your heat.” Bucky hums happily, settling down for the night.

“I can’t wait.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for!

They’re as prepared as they can be, but without knowing the exact day the heat is going to flare to life, Steve starts going to Bucky’s condo after work instead of his own. He’s starting to pick up some of the snappishness of rut, his body getting with the program after having literally been soaked in Bucky’s hormones for days, so Sam and Riley are happy to have him out of the apartment anyway.

He gets a text from Bucky asking him to bring home ice cream at 10pm on a Thursday, and knows, just knows it’s gonna hit them tomorrow. They’ll fall asleep together tonight and wake up whenever Bucky’s body decides it’s ready to get the party started. Until then, Bucky’s just going to be an uncomfortably hot, emotional wreck, and Steve wants to be there for him more than anything in the world. There’s no way he could have not gone through this heat with him, none at all.

When he comes to Bucky's place after work, he doesn't even bother putting the ice cream in the freezer, just sets it down so he can put his jacket and shoes away and gets a spoon, carrying both items into the bedroom.

Bucky is sprawled over the bed in just his boxers, watching a movie as the fan next to bed blows cold wind over his sweaty form.

"Yes, the ice cream is here!" he says excitedly and makes grabby hands for it. Steve snorts and hands the cartoon and the spoon over.

"Hi honey, I missed you too," he says flatly, but Bucky ignores him in favor of digging into the ice cream.

"I missed you too, but I need you to shower off that scent masker before you come near me," he mumbles around the spoon.

Steve nods, because they’d figured out two days ago that this close to heat the lack of scent on Steve went from confusing to downright distressing. He has no desire to repeat that experience. “I’ll be right back,” he promises, kicking off his scrubs and walking into the bathroom in his boxers and undershirt.

He takes the fastest, most clinical shower ever, studiously ignoring the way his dick really really wants to react to the hot-sugar scent of Bucky lingering on the air. He knows his own body well enough to know that he needs to conserve strength, that even with a sympathy-rut, there is a chance he might not be able to keep up.

He ignores that thought as well, toweling off quickly and slipping into fresh underwear, then going back to Bucky. “Hey,” he says in greeting as he climbs onto the bed next to the other man, who sort of sticks his face in Steve’s armpit and moans. “I’m all yours. Claire’s taking my shift tomorrow.”

"Awesome. I think it won't be long now either," Bucky says and slithers closer, plastering himself to Steve's side. It's like stepping into a furnace and Steve runs his hand through Bucky's sweat-matted hair worriedly.

"You doing okay?" he asks. "Wanna take a shower yourself now while you still have the chance?"

Bucky shakes his head. "Took one an hour ago, it helped a little, but at this point I just gotta wait till the heat hits full force and get through it."

“Alright,” he agrees, scratching his fingers against Bucky’s scalp, making him arch and purr. “You want to eat anything besides ice cream?”

“I had some yogurt and fruit,” Bucky sighs. “Please don’t make me eat anything hot, I might die.”

“You won’t die,” Steve says fondly. “Can you do a sandwich? I want a sandwich, and then we’ll go to sleep, okay?”

“Trying to fatten me up,” Bucky complains, and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Yep, make you big and strong so I can fill you with pups.” It’s idle dirty talk, Steve knows the brand of birth control Bucky is on and it’s strong as anything, but it doesn’t stop him from smirking at the way Bucky moans, his hips flexing subconsciously.

"I'll be right back," he promises and leans down to press a quick kiss to Bucky's lips.

He's familiar enough with Bucky's kitchen by now that it doesn't take him long to find everything he needs. He makes his own sandwich quickly and puts Bucky's favorite toppings on his own, hoping it'll be enough to entice him to eat the entire thing, but he takes a few bananas with him too, in case Bucky really won't be able to stomach it.

"Made your favorite," he says when he brings the plates into the bedroom and waves the one with Bucky's sandwich in front of his face.

Bucky makes a face, but drags himself to sit up nonetheless. Steve sits cross legged across from him, their knees touching, offering up little touches of encouragement with every bite Bucky eats.

He gets down about 3/4s of the sandwich before he starts looking a little green, and Steve takes the plate away from him. He’s had enough that Steve’s not too worried about him passing out during the first six hours of the heat, when they’re going to be too caught up to stop for anything other than maybe water.

“Thank you,” he whispers, leaning forward to kiss Bucky’s forehead. “Thank you for being patient with me, I know I’m being overbearing right now.”

"It's a little annoying yeah. But it's also kinda nice," Bucky says softly, eyes averted and Steve has to swallow down his anger at all the other Alphas in Bucky's life. Taking care of an omega should always include making sure they're comfortable and ready for the heat in every way, in his opinion. He has no doubt Bucky's previous partners spared little thought for that.

"Still, you can tell me to back off, if it's too much, but I appreciate that you're letting me take care of you," he says pressing another kiss to his cheek before he gathers up all the plates and puts them away.

Bucky’s running far too hot to sleep with covers that night, and he’s restless when they try to settle down, enough so that Steve’s a little worried he won’t actually be able to get any sleep. But he settles down when Steve curls a hand around the back of his neck, firm and strong, goes easily pliant against Steve’s side. “Get some sleep,” Steve instructs, squeezing Bucky’s nape gently. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

They end up sleeping longer than he really expects them too, well into the next morning. Steve’s bladder wakes him up before Bucky does, but by the time he gets back from the bathroom, Bucky is rocking into the mattress in his sleep, making little distressed noises.

He climbs back onto the bed and runs a hand down Bucky's back, shaking him lightly. Bucky freezes for a moment as he comes awake, but the rutting doesn't really stop when he blinks up at Steve.

"Steve, Steve please, I need-" he pleads, but Steve shushes him, leans down to press a kiss to his cheek.

"I know, I know," he soothes. "I'm gonna take care of you, I promise," he says and moves away so he can take off his boxers. The sweet scent of Bucky in heat is overpowering and he can feel himself slipping, his Alpha instincts taking over.

He reaches for Bucky's underwear and Bucky helpfully lifts his hips so Steve can pull them off, and when he looks up, Bucky's already up on his knees, presenting himself.

It’s like a punch to the gut, the way Bucky looks like this, head down submissively and hips tilted up, legs apart to spread himself open. Steve groans, palming his cheeks apart so he can see where Bucky’s wet, and god, he’s not just wet, he’s _dripping_ , small rivulets of slick rolling down to his balls from where his hole is winking open.

“Look at you,” Steve murmurs, moving to thumb at the rim of Bucky’s hole. His finger sinks in with no effort at all, and Bucky moans, high and long and needy. He smells like caramel, like sex and need, and Steve’s so hard he’s dizzy with it. “Gonna give you my cock, baby. That what you need?”

“Need it,” Bucky begs, almost a slur, and Steve growls, leaning forward so he can plant one hand a the nap of Bucky’s neck, holding him down instinctively.

Bucky shudders and his hips cant up towards Steve, silently asking for his cock and how can Steve resist? He lines himself up with his free hand and pushes in slowly, though he needn't have bothered, because Bucky swallows him up without any resistance, letting him slide home in one smooth thrust.

Bucky keens when Steve’s hips are flush with the swell of his ass and Steve takes a moment to relish in the warm, wet heat of him before he pulls back and thrusts back in, setting up a nice rhythm.

"You feel so good sweetheart," he can't help but praise, running his free hand down Bucky's side. "Just like you promised, warm and tight. Could stay in you forever."

“Good for you?” Bucky asks, hips shifting until something in the angle makes him keen.

“So good for me,” Steve assures him, hands clamping down on Bucky’s hips, holding him still so Steve can chase his pleasure, find the angle that makes his beautiful omega cry out like that, and fuck right into it.

“Ohh,” Bucky moans, long and high and drawn out, and somehow he’s spreading more, riding back and tightening up, and Steve remembers what he said about being able to come on a knot. Something hot and possessive flares low in Steve’s stomach, and he growls, determined to fuck Bucky better than he’s ever been fucked before. Bucky goes utterly boneless under him at Steve’s growl.

He becomes more vocal as Steve holds him still, fucking into him hard and deep, and the sounds only serve to egg Steve on further, his knot slowly starting to swell.

Bucky's moans turn into broken whines when the knot is full enough to start catching on his rim and soon he cries out, clamping down around Steve as his first orgasm rolls through him.

"That's it sweetheart, such a good boy, coming on my knot," Steve manages to get out as he fucks him through it, chasing his own release now that his omega has had his.

Bucky whimpers, back arching as Steve fucks him through the oversensitivity, and when Steve runs his hand down Bucky’s front, jesus, he’s still hard, dick leaking. Steve groans, leaning forward to bury his nose in the hair at the base of Bucky’s skull.

“So sweet,” Steve murmurs, nosing down to lick at the bonding point at the back of Bucky’s neck. He knows they’re not ready for that yet, but the scent is calling him and the closer he gets to orgasm, the more his teeth ache to bite.

Forcing himself to mouth at Bucky’s shoulder instead, Steve curls his hand around Bucky’s wrist. Under him, Bucky’s reduced to whimpering, head tipped to the side to expose his neck.

He keeps his face tucked into Bucky's shoulder, tasting the skin as his nose fills up with Bucky's rich sweet scent, making his hips snap forward even harder. His knot is almost swollen to it's full size and he can't help but scrape his teeth over Bucky's shoulder, nowhere near the bonding gland and not really a bite either, but it makes Bucky buck under him, a startled cry tearing from his lips as another orgasm is wrung from him.

Steve bears down on him instinctively, using all of his meager bulk to press Bucky down into the mattress as he fucks into him a few more times, his knot swelling to full size and trapping them together as Steve spills inside Bucky.

Bucky keens, clenching down hard on Steve’s knot, shuddering through another orgasm. “Steve,” he whines softly, one of his fingers moving to overlap with Steve’s, the softest, sweetest gesture that Steve has ever seen.

“Shhh, baby,” Steve soothes, nudging Bucky onto his side so they can spoon together, tied together on Steve’s knot. Bucky’s shivering, his whole body pouring out heat and scent, and every time Steve shifts even a little he lets out a distressed little cry. “Shhhhh, honey, I’ve got you.”

There’s a vulnerability to Bucky like this that is making Steve feel wild with protectiveness. He’s as unguarded as Bucky is right now, but more than anything he feels a driving need to make sure Bucky’s safe, and comfortable, and happy. For him, tying with someone is asking to be exposed, like a nerve, and as much as it’s an experience he guards, he’s glad the decided to give Bucky this. To have it with him.

"You okay?" he asks softly, even though he knows Bucky might be too overwhelmed to answer. He gets a nod in return and Bucky pulls the arm Steve has over his waist even tighter around himself, like he's afraid Steve might disappear.

"I'm here sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere," he says gently, but holds Bucky as close as he wants. "You were so good for me, still are," he says, kissing Bucky's shoulder gently. "I love holding you like this, love being inside you."

Bucky makes a soft sound at the words and Steve nuzzles at the back of his neck, kisses in between his shoulder blades, showing him in any way he can that Bucky is safe and wanted.

Bucky comes back to himself as the knot starts to go down, loosing his hold on Steve’s arms. He’s still hard, and another Alpha might be able to fuck him into another knot, but Steve knows his own body, knows his refractory period, and he’s not going to be ready to rut again as soon as the knot goes down.

Bucky lets out the barest of unhappy sounds as Steve’s dick finally slips free, but then he’s rolling over and burrowing into Steve’s arms, tucking his face into Steve’s neck and clinging. “Hey, sweetheart,” Steve soothes, rubbing his back, and he can feel Bucky hard against his leg. “I’m sorry, I don’t have another knot for you yet. You wanna come or you wanna wait to tie again?”

Bucky hesitates, obviously torn and Steve runs a soothing hand down his side. "Judging by your pre-heat, this is gonna last for a while and keep coming on strong, there'll be plenty of chances for us to tie again. I can wait, but you've come three times already and you're still hard, that's gotta feel uncomfortable."

"You sure you don't mind?" Bucky asks slowly and Steve shakes his head. 

"I wouldn't have asked if I did," he answers. "I want to knot you again, I really do, but until I can again, I'll make you come as many times as you want. My fingers, my mouth, I'll give you anything you want."

From the way Bucky’s looking at him, he doesn’t think Bucky’s ever been treated like he’s the important part of a heat/rut cycle. Carefully, he rolls them over, until Bucky’s on his back looking up at Steve, perched on his thighs.

Steve reaches down to take Bucky’s cock in his hand, work up at steady rhythm that has Bucky’s mouth falling open, eyes rolling back in his head. He suspects Bucky’ll need his fingers inside before he’ll come again, but Steve wants to make him feel good.

“I’m here to take care of you,” Steve reminds him, rubbing his thumb behind the head of Bucky’s cock, watching the way Bucky arches his chest up in response. His nipples have always been sensitive, but now they’re blood red, swollen peaks and Steve reaches forward to thumb one with his free hand. Bucky moans, and Steve smiles.

Steve plays with Bucky's cock for a bit, going from steady strokes to teasing at the slit, his other hand cupping his balls and rolling them around gently. Bucky seems to enjoy it, his body going lax against the mattress, and he makes such a pretty picture, Steve can't help but hover over him and kiss him deeply.

Bucky returns the kiss like he's starved for it and Steve repositions himself slightly, so he can keep kissing him and stroke his cock comfortably. Eventually they have to part for breath and Steve moves his mouth to Bucky's neck, kissing down a trail to his nipples, licking over one slowly and he smiles when Bucky's hips stutter up into his hand from pleasure.

"Want me to knot you like this next time?" he asks. "On your back, so I can tease your pretty nipples as I fuck you?"

“ _Please/_ please, I want that,” Bucky pants, arching so prettily that Steve has to press his smile into Bucky’s skin. “Please, I want your knot. Can I have it?”

Steve tilts his head, assessing his own body. He’s been dragging it out long enough that he’s about half hard again, but not quiet enough to be able to get inside. “How about you come one more time, and then I’ll knot you again. Can you do that? Can you give me one more?”

“Yes,” Bucky says quickly, eagerly, and Steve has a brief moment of concern that he’s just mindlessly agreeing to whatever Steve is saying, but then he bites his lip and says “I need something inside. Can I have your fingers?”

Steve’s heart swells, proud. “Of course you can.”

Steve strokes in between Bucky's cheeks with the hand not holding his cock and is once again surprised to find him dripping with slick. "God baby, you're so wet," he says, dragging his fingers through it slowly. "You always slick up so nice for me, but you're working overtime now, doing so well for me," he praises and feels around carefully before sliding three fingers in at once.

Bucky keens, pressing his hips down, and god, he looks like a masterpiece like this, his head arched back, cock straining in Steve's hand and legs splayed as wide as they'll go.

"Look at you, so beautiful," Steve says reverently, a contrast to how hard and fast his hand starts working in between Bucky's legs.

It honestly takes him a minute to realize that part of the reason Bucky’s so wet inside is that Steve’s come is still leaking out of him, along with his own slick. And that makes fire roil in Steve’s belly, makes him growl with want, want to fuck Bucky again and fill him up again, knot him up again so it stops leaking out.

Bucky responds to his growl with a high keen, hands fisting in the sheets as his entire body goes tense, chasing orgasm. Steve doubles down with his fingers, finding the angle that Bucky likes and working it as fast as he can without his arm cramping.

When Bucky comes this time he sounds shocked, and then moans unhappily as he tries to clench down around a knot that isn’t there. “Please, I was good, wasn’t I? Can I have it again? Please?”

"Shh, shh, honey yes, yes of course you can," Steve soothes as he settles himself over Bucky, kissing him gently. The last few moments have definitely helped Steve along and he doesn't waste any more time, lines himself up and slides home again.

Bucky sighs in relief and looks absolutely blissful as he smiles up at Steve.

"This what you wanted?" Steve asks as he starts thrusting slowly and Bucky nods, licking his lips. 

"Love being filled," he says, almost absently, like he's not fully aware that he's talking, "Love your knot stretching me open, love the feeling when you come inside. Love the way you hold me after."

Steve sighs, clutching at Bucky’s leg, hitching it up around his waist so he can get in deeper. “Love being able to give it to you,” he replies, nuzzling at the scent gland at Bucky’s collarbones. “You’re so sweet, never had an omega as sweet as you.”

Bucky makes a happy, pleased sound, arching like he’s showing off for Steve. The movement pushes his chest up towards Steve’s mouth, and Steve takes the hint, licking and sucking at one nipple then the other until Bucky’s shaking.

It’s a slower fuck than the last time, this bout of desperation spent on both their parts, and it lets Steve be more attentive. He’s patient enough to tease Bucky, pulling his hips back until the beginnings of his knot pulls on the rim and then pops out, making Bucky whine. It’s worth it though for the sound he makes when Steve pushes back in.

Bucky's cock is straining between them and by the high pitched moans and slow tensing of Bucky's body Steve can tell he's nearing orgasm again. This time Steve wants to see it, wants to see Bucky come on his knot alone, so he sits up, takes hold of both of Bucky's thighs and holds him open as he picks up the pace.

Bucky's body bows off of the mattress as he comes, his back forming a perfect arch as his cock twitches, streaks of come painting his stomach and chest. It's the sexiest thing Steve has ever seen.

"Fuck, that's so hot," he groans, bending over to lick a few droplets off of Bucky's skin, and then continues the trail up to his mouth, giving Bucky a taste of himself.

Bucky groans, licking into Steve’s mouth and chasing the taste, and Steve nips at his lip, lets his teeth catch at Bucky’s plump lower lip. He keens, arching again, and Steve can’t think.

“You’re so fucking responsive,” he praises, trailing his hands up Bucky’s thighs. Bucky’s dick is finally, finally starting to go soft, and Steve growls. “Do you think I can make you come when I tie you again? One more for me?”

Bucky fucking sobs, clutching desperately at Steve, and he seems to have lost words, pushed to the point where all he has left is ragged breath and moaning.

"Yeah, I think you got one more," Steve says and hitches Bucky's thighs around his waist, Bucky crossing his legs over the small of Steve's back instinctively. The position changes the angle and Bucky wails as Steve sinks in a little deeper. Steve lowers himself on his elbows, his hands sneaking under Bucky's shoulder blades, hooking over Bucky's shoulders and he uses that as leverage as he thrusts hard and deep, knowing from experience now that's how Bucky loves it.

Bucky clings onto him, pressing his fingers into Steve's back and Steve's pretty certain it'll leave bruises, but he doesn't care, fully focused on the beautiful omega beneath him, completely lost to pleasure.

“Gonna fill you up and tie you up and make you mine,” he breathes into Bucky’s skin, and Bucky just clutches at him harder, clenching down.

Steve can feel it, it feels like he’s on the edge of it for hours, hanging on the crest of orgasm. When he finally does come it rocks him to his very core, feels like it’s pulling at something deep and visceral inside himself. His knot catches on the last backward pull, locking hard, and Bucky _screams_. He’s coming practically dry, nothing left in him to give, muscles clamping down so hard they’re visibly shaking.

It knocks Steve’s brain sideways, and it takes him a minute to realize he’s mouthing weakly at Bucky’s scent gland. Bucky for his part seems almost unconscious, eyes drooping shut and far away, clinging desperately to Steve as if he’s going anywhere. As if they’re not physically joined together in their most tender places.

"I'm here, baby, I'm here," he soothes, places kisses on Bucky's forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks and his nose. "You did so good for me, don't think I've ever come so hard," he praises and Bucky makes a small noise.

"You're something else, you know that?" Steve says, nuzzling at his neck. "So beautiful too, look so gorgeous when you come," he keeps talking, words spilling out of him before he can think about them too hard. Bucky deserves to hear it all.

HIs shoulders start to protest after a while, his body is spent, and so are his energy reserves. He shifts, trying to see how he can roll them sideways with the least discomfort, but Bucky pulls him forward until he's lying flush against him, Bucky's steady heartbeat thumping in his ear.

“Stay,” he gets out, and it’s slurred with sleep and sex-stupid, and Steve’s heart aches in his chest for this man. This wonderful, beautiful omega who deserves all the love in the world.

“I’m staying,” Steve promises, sliding his hands down to rest on Bucky’s hips, spread to accommodate him, stilled tied together on the knot. “You comfortable baby?”

But Bucky’s already asleep, body pliant and blood-hot around Steve, and he sighs happily, resting his head down with his ear to Bucky’s chest. He lets the steady thump-thump-thump of Bucky’s heart lull him, pull him into sleep along with his omega. The heat will wake them in a few hours. For now, they can be still.

___

Time seems to trickle and speed by Steve at the same time. He's lost count of how many times he's knotted Bucky, neither of their bodies slowing down, and even though Steve lags behind Bucky's sometimes, it never takes as long as he thinks it will to get it back up again. Bucky is a wonderful motivator.

Steve rolls over after another knot deflates, sprawling himself on his back as he slips from Bucky's body. Bucky is quick to roll after him, settling into his arms and they're both slicked with sweat and Bucky's come. Bucky still running hot, but neither of them even consider moving away.

Bucky's body has settled into the heat by now, giving them bouts of reprieve where they can both think straight.

"You need anything? Water? Something to eat?" Steve asks.

“Water,” Bucky sighs, nuzzling against Steve happily. They are both filthy, and eventually Steve is going to have to make them both shower, but right now he can’t bare the idea of washing his scent off of Bucky. “You.”

Steve laughs. “Baby, if I give you any more of me I might honestly have nothing left.”

“No,” Bucky grouses, and Steve ruffles his hair.

“That doesn’t even make sense,” he says fondly, but hums happily when Bucky licks his collarbone, completely unashamed. “If I make you eggs and toast will you eat it?”

“I suppose.”

Steve places one final kiss to the top of Bucky's head before he gets out of bed and pulls on a pair of boxers. He makes a quick stop in the bathroom to relieve himself and then heads to the kitchen to get the eggs ready. Bucky seems to have lost his appetite entirely, but he eats at least a bit of what Steve puts in front of him and Steve does his best not to push too much. It's almost like they've fallen into a pattern and the thought of it makes Steve's insides warm with contentment.

Bucky is lying in a messy heap on the bed when Steve returns with the food and he sighs heavily when he sees the plate Steve is carrying.

"Do I have to eat all of that?" he asks, put upon and Steve shakes his head.

"No, I made enough for the both of us, figured we'd share," he smiles.

“It’s like trying to eat with your nose plugged up, only not?” Bucky explains, as they pick their way through the plate of eggs and toast. “Nothing has any flavor that appeals to me. It’s not actively making me sick, there’s just no drive to eat it. You don’t get that way?”

“No,” Steve shakes his head. “Not even during a real rut. And I promise you, I’ve got much less concentration in an actual rut than in a sympathy one. My body doesn’t quite manage the hormone mimic as best as it should.”

“I got no complaints,” Bucky says with a grin, then forces himself to eat some more toast.

“I guess it makes sense,” Steve says, eyes flicking sideways towards Bucky. “Your body’s really really focused on getting pups right now. Your metabolism would probably go into overdrive if anything took.”

"Tough luck on that happening," Bucky says, but he looks a little wistful. Steve knows Bucky doesn't really want pups, not yet anyway, but he also knows his body is definitely telling him different now, so he reaches out with one hand and rubs soothingly over his shoulder.

"Someday," he says softly and Bucky nods, polishing off the last bit of toast before he calls it quits.

"God I feel so full," he groans when he flops back on the bed and Steve raises an eyebrow at him.

"Thought you liked feeling full," he says cheekily.

“Mmmmm, well, I like that kind of full,” he says, giving a luxurious stretch that shows off the muscles in his stomach, hips, thighs. He’s the sexiest thing Steve’s ever seen.

Steve moves to put the plate on the floor by the bed, and then crawls up Bucky’s body, stopping to give his soft cock an affectionate nuzzle before continuing on. That’s the thing about heats and ruts, in Steve’s experience. You spend so much time with someone else’s body that normal social taboos fall way. Bucky is fully uninhibited in his body, shameless in it, and Steve feels no qualms showering him with affection, physical and verbal alike.

He settles with his hands folded over Bucky’s heart, chin resting propped up on them to smile up at his omega. “What?” Bucky asks, and Steve thinks at any other time he might be shy. But heat has robbed Bucky of his shyness and Steve finds that he loves it.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, sincerely.

He's told him so several times during the heat, both when Bucky could barely understand and in moments like this and it never fails to get a reaction. This time, Bucky's face softens and his lips twitch up into a small smile.

"You're not so bad yourself," he says, tracing his fingers down Steve's spine, making him shiver.

"Not like you though. You're like a work of art. All sleek lines and perfect pale skin. Almost wish I had time to draw you," Steve says reverently.

"Really?" Bucky asks and Steve nods. "Well, I suppose you can if you want. When I'm not all sex crazy anymore."

“I might someday,” Steve says absently, starting to trace abstract forms onto the skin of Bucky’s chest with his finger. “You’d have to hold real still for me. Not move at all. Think you could do that? Hold perfectly still for hours while I look at your beautiful body?”

Bucky’s breath hitches, and Steve grins, trailing his finger over the pebble of Bucky’s nipple, bruised and sore looking from how much attention Steve’s paid them. His back arches, and he hisses “Yesss,” though if it’s in response to Steve’s question or the stimulation he has no idea.

“Course you would,” Steve agrees, pushing himself up to hover over Bucky, lean down so their lips brush when he speaks. “Because you are so, _so_ good for me.”

Bucky shivers, and Steve leans down to lick a hot stripe across his neck, trailing his nose down to where Bucky’s pouring out caramel scented heat pheromones. Bucky arches his back again, pressing his chest up, and Steve takes the hint, moving down to his chest.

“Gotta be getting sore,” he coos, thumbing Bucky’s nipple, and Bucky whines.

“Feels good,” he admits, and Steve’s rut brain supplies him with the image of what Bucky’s pecs would look like swollen up with milk, body ripe for tiny little pups, for _Steve’s pups._

There's a low rumble that starts up in his chest and he can't help but lean in and bite at one of Bucky's pecs gently.

Bucky makes a high pitched keening sound, so Steve continues, biting and licking at the muscle, making Bucky writhe under him.

"'s it me, or are you really more sensitive here than usual?" Steve murmurs as he nuzzles at Bucky's sternum.

"N-No, I- I usually like it, but it's- it feels really really good now," Bucky pants, shivering as Steve flicks a finger over one of the little nubs again.

“Is it always like this in heat?” he asks, curious. He leans down, latching his mouth over Bucky’s nipple and suckling, flicking his tongue, pinching the other one. Bucky’s entire body tenses, shaking a little, like it’s trying to come from this alone, and he _sobs_.

“s’like this in heat,” Bucky gets out, and it takes Steve a minute to remember the question he’d asked. Everything about Bucky’s body seems turned up to eleven with heat, stronger than any omega Steve has been with before. He banishes thoughts about how that reflects Bucky’s fertility before they even get to form, because no matter what his rut brain is thinking they’re not going to that place.

“Want your knot,” Bucky begs, and his eyes are bright fever-hot, edging up to desperate again. “Wanna come on it, wanna make you feel so good, make you shoot and lock in me. Please, can I have it, please, it’s so thick, I need it, Stevie please.”

"Shh, baby, shh, of course you can have my knot," Steve soothes, licking over Bucky's nipple one last time before he shifts, lifting Bucky's ass into his lap as he lines up, leaving the rest of Bucky’s body arched up over the mattress.

He slides in to the hilt, not giving Bucky any time to adjust as he pulls back and starts thrusting. He can't go as hard as before like this, but he makes the strokes long and deep, one of his hands settling on Bucky's hip as the other slides up his taut stomach and up to his chest.

His hand comes to rest over one of Bucky's pecs and he cups it gently, massaging at it. Bucky's not huge here (not yet, his unhelpful brain supplies), but it's enough to elicit a response in Bucky.

“Steve,” Bucky pants, keening and whimpering so sweetly it’s twisting up in Steve’s brain. He’s so open, so hot and soft and giving, and it’s making Steve crazy. He clenches his jaw against the urge to lean forward and sink his teeth into Bucky’s neck, god he wants to bite.

“Look at you,” he says in awe, rubbing his palm flat across Bucky’s chest, reaching his other hand down to cradle Bucky’s pretty little cock, slim and uniform in his hand and Bucky’s eyes roll in his head, an orgasm knocked out of him before Steve’s knot even starts to blow, painting the clenching muscles of his stomach, tightening down hard on Steve’s dick. “Oh, good boy,” he murmurs, and Bucky reacts visibly to the praise, small shivers of pleasure chasing down his spine.

“Wanna make you come,” Bucky moans, reaching for Steve weakley. “Want your knot. Want you to stay inside me forever and never leave.”

"Never want to leave sweetheart," Steve promises and bends over, Bucky's hands coming around his neck as he kisses him sweetly. Bucky returns the kiss happily, but wiggles in his lap impatiently, not happy with the lack of movement.

Steve repositions himself for better leverage, bearing down on Bucky and spreading his thighs wider as he starts to thrust again. Bucky wants his knot, so he abandons slow and deep for quick sharp thrusts, his hips snapping into Bucky forcefully as he chases his own orgasm.

He can't keep kissing Bucky in this position, so he buries his face into the crook of his neck, inhaling Bucky's scorched heat scent as Bucky's moans echo in his ears.

“Feels so good,” Bucky sobs, and his fingernails draw tracks up Steve’s back, bright hot points of sensation that just melt into everything else. “Feels so good, Steve, I can taste it.”

Steve growls, instinct tugging deep in his groin, and the desire to bite floods him, hot and sharp. “Wanna bite,” he pants, because it’s so strong his teeth ache. Bucky keens, rolling his head to the side so his neck is on display, long, beautiful pale column, bonding point towards the back but if Steve shifted up he could probably reach–

Gently as he can manage without stopping the action of his hips, Steve cups Bucky’s cheek, rolls his head to the other side and buries his face in the crook of Bucky neck. He nips lightly at the skin, and Bucky pheromones spike in reply. He’s so responsive, Steve can’t _think._

"Please, please, pleasepleaseplease," Bucky beggs and whether it's for Steve's knot or for him to bite down harder, in the end Steve gives him both, sinking his teeth into the soft skin as his knot starts to blow up, catching on Bucky's rim until it pops fully and Steve is firmly anchored inside Bucky as his cock pulses and spills inside of him.

Bucky tenses up under him and Steve is distantly aware of more wetness smearing in between them, for the moment completely lost in Bucky's heat, the way his scent screams satisfied omega.

He comes to gradually, nuzzling gently at the mark he left behind on Bucky's neck before he kisses up slowly, finding Bucky's lips.

Bucky’s purring, honest to god, happy, sweet, satisfied little omega purrs that buzz against his lips as Steve kisses him. Steve cups both sides of his neck, thumbs brushing the soft skin behind his ears, and Bucky’s eyes stay shut even after Steve draws back, everything about him communicating contentment, satisfaction.

“So good,” Steve praises, and Bucky’s hips flex instinctively, tugging a little on Steve’s knot. It punches the breath out of him, too sensitive for any more stimulation than the pressure of Bucky’s lock. He slides his hand back to grip at Bucky’s neck and that settles him, makes him unspool again into loose-limbed relaxation.

Steve feels tender, achingly exposed like this, and helplessly he kisses Bucky again. His pheromone soaked brain wants nothing more than to find a nice warm place for them and den down, keep his omega full until he’s ripe with pups, and kill anyone who even looked at them. He feels wildly possessive and a little unsteady and pulls back to bury his face in Bucky’s neck to quiet his own racing mind.

They lie like that until Steve's knot deflates, just staying close, quiet except for the soft purring that eventually peters out.

Bucky makes a noise when Steve slips out, but it's toned down, like Bucky's still not quite back to himself yet and Steve props himself up on his elbow so he can check in on him.

Bucky's eyes are still closed and there's a slight smile on his face, but Steve still needs to make sure, so he reaches out to cup Bucky's cheek. "How’re you feeling?" he asks softly.

"Like I've just had the best sex of my life," Bucky slurs a little.

Pride glows warm and bright in Steve’s chest, and he bends to kiss the base of Bucky’s throat between his collarbones. “Good,” Steve says, because he can’t quite help it, far too pleased with the idea that he’s better than the other Alphas Bucky’s had before.

Bucky hums happily, his arms coming up to wrap around Steve’s shoulders, and Steve bites back a smile. “C’mere,” he prompts, tugging Bucky a little until they can roll onto their sides, curling together with Bucky’s leg hooked over Steve’s thigh. Even with the heat satisfied for the time being, Bucky’s body is pouring out warmth, and it’s making Steve drowsy. “‘m gonna keep you,” he murmurs into Bucky’s skin, and if Bucky’s still awake to hear him, Steve drifts off into sleep before Bucky can reply.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of heat, and the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to wrap up now, unfortunately. There's one more short chapter after this, but the bulk of the story is done. We've been so appreciative of your support and feedback over the last month, thank you all so much. <3

Heat is a long, exhaustive thing, and around the halfway mark it stops being so much about pleasure as controlling pain, Bucky’s body running away with him. But in between the bouts of muscle cramps, towards the end there’s a wonderful intimacy that Steve treasures, that is the reason he won’t do this with someone he’s not close with.

The last day of the heat is the weakest, but it leaves Bucky clingy and touch-hungry, still with the glorious lack of shame from the heat, but looking now more for touch than for sex.

They'd spent the better part of the last hour just kissing lazily and now Bucky is curled into Steve's side, tracing circles into his abdomen, while Steve's hand plays with his hair softly.

"Do you need anything?" Steve asks. He sounds like a broken record by now, has probably asked that question a million times this week, but it's almost automatic, the need to make sure Bucky is okay, not wanting for anything.

"Just you," Bucky replies and hooks a leg around Steve's thigh, keeping him in place.

"I'm not going anywhere," Steve chuckles, but Bucky makes a disgruntled sound.

"So you say, but then you sneak off to the kitchen when I least want you to," he pouts.

“I will not apologize for keeping you from passing out,” Steve says loftily, and he can feel Bucky’s smile against his skin. His heart squeezes in his chest, and he could stay like this forever, he really could.

But Bucky’s scent is already returning to normal, losing the sharpness from the heat, the burned-sugar urgency. Lazily, Steve thinks he should get them both to shower, and maybe change the sheets. And probably call work and tell them he can come in tomorrow.

Bucky nuzzles a little at his neck, and Steve lets himself be sidetracked a little. “Take a bath with me?” he asks, nudging Bucky up for a kiss.

"Mmn, yes, a bath would be lovely," Bucky all but purrs, but makes an unhappy sound when Steve moves to get up.

"Baby, we are going to have to move if we wanna make that happen," Steve says, cupping Bucky's cheek and despite his words, catches himself staring for a bit. Bucky's hair is a mess, sweaty and tangled, his whole body is covered in a sheen of sweat and other things, but he's still beautiful, almost looks like he's glowing. It's captivating.

"I guess," Bucky says and reluctantly sits up, not getting up until Steve does.

Bucky’s bathroom is one of the features in his condo that betrays just how expensive it really is. While it’s by no means ostentatious, the floor is actual tile, unlike the linoleum Steve is accustomed too. It also has a shower stall separate from the bathtub, and that’s where all of Bucky’s shampoos and soaps are, leaving Steve to guess he doesn’t use the bathtub all that much.

“Usually seems like a waste of water,” Bucky admits, leaning against the counter as Steve starts to fill the tub. “I’ve never been one to take long showers or baths anyway. I think I used it once since I got the place. Bought one of those foaming bath things, but the scent was so _strong_. I didn’t feel like myself for a day.”

Steve makes a face at the idea of masking either of their scents with florals or fruits right now. Just the idea of washing his scent off Bucky makes him want to grind his teeth, but he grabs a bottle of shampoo and a simple bar of soap out of the shower stall nonetheless.

He places them on the edge of the bathtub and when the tub seems full enough, he climbs in first, settling himself against the wall before he beckons Bucky to join him. It's a big tub, so when Bucky climbs in and rests his back to Steve's chest, there's enough room for both of their legs and it doesn't feel cramped.

"Mmn, that feels good," Bucky sighs as he leans his head back against Steve's shoulders. "Didn't even notice I felt sore until now," he says as he stretches a little in the warm water.

"Nothing hurts though, right?" Steve is quick to ask. "Your arm's fine?"

"Yeah, nothing hurts, just sore muscles and a bit of a sting down there, but it'll go away soon."

Steve hums, sliding his hands down Bucky’s arms, squeezing the muscles in an absent massage. Bucky sighs, and Steve allows himself to relish in being able to touch. “Your skin is amazingly smooth,” he mutters in Bucky’s ear, moving his hands to massage the muscles in Bucky’s chest.

That makes him groan, but not the sexual kind of want Steve has gotten used too. A patch of sore muscles, he imagines. He rubs his hands down Bucky’s stomach, to the joints of his hips, liable to be sore from being spread open so much.

“Take such good care of me,” Bucky murmurs, and his eyes are closed, head resting still on Steve’s shoulder. “Never had an Alpha take care of me like you do.”

Steve's hit with a lot of emotions at once; sadness that Bucky hasn't had anyone treat him right before, anger at the Alphas for being so selfish, and a guilty sliver of pride, that he's the only one who's ever done right by Bucky, taken care of him properly. He pushes them all away in favor of kissing Bucky's temple, continuing the gentle massage.

"You deserve it," he says softly. "You're such a wonderful, beautiful person, been so strong for so long. I'm so proud to call you mine. My Bucky."

Bucky makes a small noise, all but melting in his arms. "Say it again?"

“Which part?” Steve asks, kissing Bucky’s cheekbone. “That I’m proud of you? That you’re mine?”

“I am,” Bucky says, cuddling into Steve’s arms. “I am yours. For as long as you’ll have me.”

Steve bites his lip. _I’m in love with you_ he thinks, nuzzling at the back of Bucky’s ear. _If we keep going like this I’m going to love you until my heart stops._ “I’m planning to keep you,” he says, voice tight. “Can I wash your hair?”

"Yes, please," Bucky says and lifts his head without being prompted. They both shift a little and Steve takes the bottle of shampoo, squirts some on his palm and then lathers it into Bucky's hair gently.

It's been obvious since the beginning that Bucky loves having his hair played with, but he turns into putty when Steve rubs the shampoo into his hair, making pleased sounds all the while. Steve spends a bit longer than necessary washing his hair and then has to poke Bucky into movement at the end of it.

"C'mon, we gotta rinse this off," he chuckles.

Bucky scooches forward in the tub, bracing his arms on the sides and leaning back enough so that Steve can carefully cup water in his hands and help Bucky rinse the shampoo out.

It takes a couple more careful, tender moments to get all the suds out, and then Steve finds himself just absently playing with the silky strands. Bucky’s eyes are shut, and he looks in danger of actually falling asleep in the tub, despite it being midday.

“C’mon,” Steve says gently, cupping the back of Bucky’s head to press a kiss to his forehead. “We’ll rinse off in the shower, and then go back to bed. Can you find us food while I change the sheets?”

"Think I can manage, yes," Bucky says and then clambers out of the tub a little clumsily, Steve following suit. The shower turns out to be less productive than he'd planned on, because now he has a wet, clingy Bucky in front of him and neither of them can quite bring themselves to rinse off quickly and get out.

They're both rosy cheeked with kiss-swollen lips when they finally get out of the shower, and Steve takes the time to wrap Bucky in a soft towel and pat him down a little before he gets one for himself. Bucky's looking at him, smiling a little dopily when he turns around.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm just really happy," Bucky shrugs.

“I am too,” Steve says fondly, stepping forward and cupping Bucky’s waist, going up on his toes to kiss him again. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

Bucky blushes, and that’s another point in favor of the heat ending, his shyness returning. “I didn’t get why you were so insistent before, about not doing heats or ruts with people you’re not close too. But if this is what it’s like for you every time, I get it now.”

“Not every time,” Steve admits, because this has been special. _Bucky_ is special. “But yeah. It’s never just about having fun for me.”

“Thanks for showing me,” Bucky says softly. “I didn’t think I was ever going to enjoy a heat again.”

"It wasn't good with Frank?" Steve asks before he thinks about it properly.

"Not really? I mean, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't... It was more because I didn't want to go through a heat alone than anything else. It was good in the sense that he got the job done, but it wasn't fun, there was no connection really, just working off hormones," Bucky shrugs.

Steve nods. Having seen how heat affects Bucky, it's not a surprise he'd prefer that to being alone. "I'm glad we're different," he says softly and pulls Bucky in for another kiss. "So, you're on food duty and I'll go clean up," he says when they pull apart.

They end up eating mac’n’cheese out of the pot on the floor in front of the bed, not wanting to accidentally make a mess of the new sheets. It’s the first real hot meal they’ve had since the heat began, and between that and the fact that Bucky’s scent is even clearer after the shower, Steve feels pretty confident when he says, “I think your heat’s mostly done.”

Bucky nods, scraping up some more bright orange noodles. “Yeah, probably. I mostly feel like I want to sleep for a year, so that’s a pretty good sign we’re done.”

“Well, you can sleep for a while, it’s only Thursday and you have until Monday off from class.” He bites his lip, turning over what he’s about to say in his head before he says it. “I’ll stay tonight, but I should call the hospital and see if they have a shift for me tomorrow. If you think you’re really done.”

Bucky puts his spoon down slowly, but he nods. "Yeah, makes sense," he says, but his voice sounds flat.

"I'd love to stay longer, but the more hours I have, the more money I get and I can't afford to miss too much," Steve says apologetically.

"No, it's okay, you don't have to apologise," Bucky says. "I figured you wouldn't be able to stay for much longer anyway. Would've been nice if you could, but I get it," he says and tries for a smile. It comes out a little strained.

“Hey, c’mere,” Steve says gently, holding an arm out, and Bucky goes easily, eagerly into his side. “I’ll stay tonight, wake up with you tomorrow morning and make sure you’re really okay. And then as soon as I get time off from work we’ll do something, alright? Something outside the apartment.”

“I like being inside with you,” Bucky grumbles, but he doesn’t seem too bothered, and his scent hasn’t lost it’s contented edge.

“Well, then we’ll come back after,” Steve says fondly, and kisses Bucky’s cheek. “Besides, we’ve got hours left in the day to be all cuddled up.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees happily, then says brightly. “We can watch a movie!”

Steve laughs, stealing a cheesy kiss. “We sure can, sweetie.”  
____

Steve means to check in with Bucky while he’s at the hospital, he does, but he is _so_ behind. Somehow paperwork piled up even when he wasn’t there and there’s some new equipment he needs to be trained on, and it’s a double shift so he ends up being pushed from pediatrics to ER and ER is basically a triage sprint from start to end, and he kind of accidentally ends up going off the grid for 12 hours.

He's exhausted when his turn in the ER is finally done, more than ready to just go home and sleep for a day, but he wants to check in on Bucky first, see how he's doing. He fishes his phone out of his pocket as he's gathering up his stuff from his locker and freezes when he sees he has 4 missed phone calls and a bunch of texts from Bucky. He goes for the messages first and his stomach drops.

_hey, how's your first day back going?_

_they keeping you busy, huh?_

_steve? Is everything okay?_

_i'm getting a little worried here. Hope you're okay._

_am i being annoying? Is it too much too soon? I know you only left this morning, i should probably back off a little._

_sorry, sorry, that was probably uncalled for, i'll back off. Call me when you have time._

_you know, if you only wanted the heat, you could have just said._

“Shit!” Steve squeaks out, which gets him an odd look from the guy who’s locker’s next to his, but Steve is beyond caring. He nearly drops his phone in his haste to call Bucky back, not realizing until the phone goes to voicemail that it’s nearly 1 am.

“Bucky, baby, I’m so sorry, I’ve been stuck in the ER for the last 8 hours, I didn’t even get a break. You have to know it was more than just the heat, I adore spending time with you. I’m so sorry, I hope you’re okay. Call me back?”

He hangs up the phone, going about saying the same thing in text message form. The guy next to him (Mark something? Steve thinks he’s in oncology) makes a sympathetic noise. “Needy omega?”

“ _FUCK OFF,_ ” Steve snarls, slamming his locker shut.

The guy raises his hands up in surrender, but Steve ignores him, storming out of the locker room. He's almost halfway to his subway station when he stops. He's left a voicemail and a text, but maybe... maybe he should swing by Bucky's place. Smooth things over in person. The plan had been originally for him to go back to Bucky’s condo, before the only shift available was a double and they’d decided Steve should probably just go home after. But Bucky is a night owl, he might be still up. But then why did his phone go to voicemail?

He stands there, debating what to do for a long time before he forces himself to move, continue on to his station. Bucky might be really mad at him, is at the least very upset. If he's managed to fall asleep, Steve's not going to disturb him. It'll be for the best if he swings by in the morning when they're both rested and thinking more clearly.

He plans to get some sleep, he really does, but he ends up flopping around on his bed, unable to settle. After a week in Bucky’s bed, his own feels too big, too empty…. smells wrong, smells like him alone. He tries breathing exercises, tries the meditation Bruce had tried to foist off on him in college. Nothing works, and he’s about to give it up for a bad job, just get up and slam his way through some of the paperwork he has piled up, when his phone lights up with an incoming call.

He lunges for it, pausing long enough to see Bucky’s face light up the screen, before he hits the accept call button. “Baby are you okay?” he asks in a rush, and then his heart drops when Bucky speaks.

“You should hate me,” Bucky sobs, and Steve’s heart drops. “I can’t even go a day without you. I panicked and I freaked out and then I went to the bar near my place because I was angry but none of those guys where you and I didn’t want any of them and I hate myself, Steve, you should hate me too.”

"Baby, I don't hate you," Steve says softly.

"You should!" Bucky exclaims. "I'm needy and pathetic, I let people treat me like shit because I can't be alone. My boyfriend doesn't call me for twelve hours and I go out wanting throw myself at other people, you deserve better," Bucky hiccups.

"Baby, where are you right now?" Steve asks, pushing away all the other stuff because he needs to make sure Bucky is safe first.

"At the bar. Well, in front of the bar, it's too loud inside to talk," Bucky sniffles.

"Okay and are you alone?"

"Yeah. There were these two Alphas, but I told them to fuck off."

Steve feels a flood of different emotions in such rapid succession that he feels dizzy with it. There’s the possessiveness of any other Alpha thinking they can have what’s _his_ , yes, but also an enormous swell of pride for Bucky and his strength- his ability to stand up for himself, all wrapped up in fear for Bucky’s safety.

“Can you get a cab or an uber or something? You can come here, or I can get to your place… if you don’t want to see me–“

“Always wanna see you,” Bucky mumbles. “That’s the problem.”

“It’s not a problem, sweetheart,” Steve soothes, and god, he wants to touch Bucky something awful. “You’re crashing after your heat, that’s normal enough in and of itself, to say nothing of your past.” It really is, and given the strength of Bucky’s entire cycle from pre-heat through the length of the heat itself, Steve should have expected an endorphin crash at the other end. He should have been there.

Bucky is quiet for a moment and Steve's afraid he's hung up on him, but then he can hear muffled talking and then Bucky comes back.

"I found a cab. They just dropped someone off and I asked if they were free, so I'll be there soon," he says and Steve sighs in relief. 

"Good, that's good. I'll come and wait for you downstairs," he says, already up and throwing a jacket over his sleep clothes.

"You don't have to do that," Bucky says quietly.

"I want to," Steve says, not mentioning that sitting still and waiting for Bucky to arrive will probably drive him crazy. "Do you wanna stay on the phone until you get here?"

“I don’t know what to say,” Bucky says quietly, and Steve can hear the sound of the cab pulling out into traffic. The clock on the microwave reads 3:45 as he walks through the kitchen, and he spends a moment to be grateful that he doesn’t have to be at work until 2pm the next day.

“That’s okay,” Steve assures him, and he can hear Bucky sniffle. “Do you want to talk about movies or something? Or I can just talk about work, or…. I don’t know, I can just stay on the line with you so that you know I’m here.”

“You’re being too nice,” Bucky says, his voice sounding hurt. “I went out to fuck someone else, you should be angry.”

Steve blows air out through his nose, forcing a deep breath. The idea of someone else touching Bucky does objectively make his skin crawl, but the pain and regret in Bucky’s voice would be enough to sap any anger from him, even if he didn’t know where this is coming from. “But you didn’t,” he points out calmly. “You were angry and you wanted to hurt me, but you didn’t. Baby, you didn’t, you didn’t do it, you called me to talk about it instead because even when you’re upset at me you still don’t really want to hurt me. I understand what that means, I’m not mad, I promise.”

"I couldn't," Bucky voice breaks. "I was so upset and hurt when you didn't respond to my calls and texts and I wanted you to hurt too and I wanted to stop feeling like this, but when I walked in there, I knew I couldn't do it. I didn’t want to be with someone who isn't you."

"Baby..."

"I'm sorry Steve, I'm so sorry," Bucky sobs and Steve wills the cab to go faster, for Bucky to be here so he can hold him.

The wait seems longer than it actually is and Steve is pacing in front of his building as he tries to comfort Bucky down the line, but then finally, finally the cab stops in front of him and Bucky scrambles out and into his arms.

“I got you,” Steve murmurs, holding Bucky close. “I gotcha, sweetheart.”

Bucky holds it together well enough to pay the cab driver and get into the apartment, but he collapses into fresh sobs as soon as he can get to the couch. “I’m sorry,” he sobs, and Steve shushes him, climbing into Bucky’s lap so he can tuck Bucky’s head into his shoulder, wrap his arms around his shoulders.

“I know you are, I’m not mad at you, I promise,” Steve soothes, running his hand through Bucky’s hair, wincing when he sees the light click on in Sam and Riley’s room.

Riley pokes his head out, concern etched in his eyes when they land on Steve and Bucky. “Is he okay?” he mouths and frowns when Steve shakes his head no.

"You s-should be, I tried to cheat on you," Bucky sobs, unaware of their audience. "I couldn't do it, but the intent was there, I don't- You shouldn't be nice to me."

Riley's eyes are wide when Steve looks at him again, but he gives him an understanding nod and slips back into the room.

"Then what should I do, sweetheart? Yell? Hurt you for it?" He can feel Bucky flinch in his arms, and he swallows anger, swallows every unproductive emotion wanting to bubble up. “Because I’m not gonna hurt you. And what would yelling at you accomplish if you already feel this bad about it?”

Bucky takes a couple deep, shuddering breaths, and Steve takes the opportunity to kiss across his cheek, nuzzle their noses together. “You don’t… want to punish me?” Bucky asks, and his voice is meek.

Steve swallows down more anger. “Not really my style, and even if it was, that’d be some next level consent that we would need to discuss at length, and I don’t think you really want it. So can you try to forget whoever told you that you deserve to be punished for having feelings and not knowing how to handle them?”

More tears well up and it's clear Bucky feels overwhelmed by the entire situation, so Steve doesn't make him try to talk anymore and just holds him, letting him cry himself out.

"I keep doing this, crying all over you like a baby," Bucky sniffles when the tears seem to have stopped, rubbing over his face self-consciously.

"I don't mind," Steve says softly, pushing a few stray hairs away from Bucky's face. "I'd rather you cry and let it out than keep it in and let it eat at you."

"Still, I'm sorry. Not just for this and the bar, the entire me flipping out thing. I don't- I was fine when you left, but then I just... turned into a complete mess," he sighs.

“Can you tell me why you panicked,” Steve asks, gently, even though he’s pretty sure he knows.

“I just kept thinking about Brock, about how things with him were fun until after my heat and then he just stopped talking to me. And I knew better, I swear I know better, but you just kept not answering, and I kept thinking…. what if it’s Brock all over again.”

Steve nods, placing another trail of kisses down Bucky’s nose. “It’s not. I know that it’s gonna take you a little while to believe it, but I’ll keep telling you. I’d rather be with you than not, baby, at pretty much any given point.”

"I do believe it," Bucky says softly. "When you're here, there's no doubts, but when I'm alone..."

Steve nods. "Yeah, I get that," he says and bites his lip. "I guess I should apologize too. I probably shouldn't have left so soon. Your heat was pretty intense, so some of what you're feeling is probably the abrupt lack of all those hormones too."

"Steve, we both know you had to go back to work, there's nothing to apologize for here," Bucky says.

"No, I know, but still. You needed me and I wasn't here."

“It’s okay,” Bucky says dully, and Steve tugs him close.

“I’m here now. And I don’t have to work until the afternoon tomorrow, we can stay in bed all morning.”

“You shouldn’t have to arrange your life around me!” Bucky protests, and Steve runs his fingers through Bucky’s hair, smoothing it back off his forehead.

“I’m not. That was my shift anyway, because I worked a double today. And being with you isn’t a hardship for me, honey. I want you to stay tonight. I wanted to see you today, I just couldn’t make it happen.”

Bucky leans into the touch, closing his eyes. "I still feel like I constantly keep making you adapt to me. I just want to have a good time with you, but I've got all this shit and it always rears it's head and ruins things. I feel like I keep ruining things for us," he says quietly.

"Oh honey, no," Steve says empathically. "You're not ruining anything. You have some stuff going on, sure, but it's not a bad thing."

Bucky opens his eyes to give him a dubious look and Steve sighs. "Bucky, your past, everything that you're dealing with now, it's all a part of you. And I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough to share that with me, to let me comfort you. I don't see it as a burden, and I don't sit around wishing for you to be less complicated or whatever. And it's not like I'm perfect, we all have something."

Bucky sighs. "I know it's the come down from the heat, but I feel like I should be better. A better omega for you."

Steve cups Bucky's jaw, tipping his head up. "You are exactly what I want," he says firmly, "warts and all."

Bucky snorts, nuzzling at Steve's neck. "My head hurts," he says softly.

Steve kisses his temple and sits back. "I'll get you a glass of water and painkillers and then we'll go lie down and try to get some sleep, okay?"

Bucky nods and lets Steve slide off of the couch to make the quick trip to the bathroom and kitchen. He brings Bucky the pills and water and after Bucky downs them, leads him towards his bedroom.

Steve's already dressed for bed, but Bucky takes his jeans off and then hesitates. "Do you- could we sleep without our shirts on?" he asks.

"Of course," Steve agrees, and strips his shirt over his head. Bucky's already striped down to just his boxers when Steve pulls his head out, and is hovering at the edge of the bed, like he's waiting for an invitation, or for permission.

Steve holds out his arms in offer, and Bucky smiles weakly, climbing in next to Steve.

"Missed you earlier," Steve murmurs, "couldn't fall asleep without you here."

"I always sleep better if you're with me," Bucky admits. "Even before the heat, when I used to fall asleep on you all the time... I just feel really safe and relaxed around you."

Steve tightens his hold on Bucky, feeling both elated and even more guilty for leaving Bucky so soon. "You're welcome to spend the night anytime, or ask me to come over," he says. "It might not always work out because of my work, but I'd like it if we made it a regular thing."

"I'd like it too," Bucky says softly, his voice drifting off.

Steve smiles fondly and brings his hand up to stroke Bucky's hair, listening to his breathing as it evens off and before he knows it, he's asleep too.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it guys! The last bit! Thank you so much for taking this journey with us, we appreciate every single comment and kudos we've gotten. Your love for this story has been inspiring.

It’s just edging on sunset when Steve gets to Bucky's place, and he doesn't even get a hello when he presses the buzzer, there's just the sound of the front door bolt snapping open. He raises his eyebrows in confusion as he enters and goes up to Bucky's condo. The door is unlocked, so he pushes it open, calling out for Bucky, and only gets a frustrated sigh in reply. He follows it to Bucky's bedroom and he almost laughs when he sees Bucky's usually neat bedroom in complete disarray, clothes strewn over nearly every surface, and there's Bucky in the middle, only dressed in boxers and looking utterly lost.

“What are you doing?” he asks with a laugh, looking around the room.

“Trying to find something to wear,” Bucky says in frustration, and when Steve pointedly looks around the piles of very wearable clothing, Bucky winces, scrubbing his hand through his hair. “I mean, like, the right thing. How fancy is this place again?”

Bucky turns to Steve, running a critical eye over his clothing, which is his usual ‘toe the line between hipster and grandpa’ style ensemble. “It has ‘Ale House’ in the name,” Steve reminds Bucky fondly, stepping over a few crumbled sweaters lying on the floor to go up and kiss Bucky softly. “Ties are definitely not required.”

Bucky kisses back and then rests his head on Steve's shoulder, sighing. "I want tonight to go right, I want your friends to like me."

"Aww, honey, they will," Steve soothes, bringing his arms up and around Bucky's shoulders. "Sam and Riley already like you, Sharon and Claire definitely approve of you, hot sandwich guy, and Nat's been needling for me to find someone for ages and is ecstatic that her birthday party was the reason we met. They're going to love you."

"It's good that at least one of us is optimistic about this," Bucky mumbles into his shoulder and then straightens himself up with another sigh. "Okay, so, the nice black jeans and the blue sweater?"

“Whatever you feel comfortable in,” Steve assures him, rubbing his palms up and down Bucky’s bare arms. “I love those jeans, so I’m in favor.”

“Why’s that?” Bucky asks, turning absently to start picking through the pile of sweaters, holding up two different blue ones to squint at.

“They make your ass look amazing,” Steve says with a smirk, sinking to sit on the bed as he watches Bucky blush.

“Well, if my Alpha likes them,” he says, and it’s half tease, half pleased truth.

“I like you,” Steve says fondly. “Clothes are just garnish."

"Too bad I can't just go to dinner naked," Bucky says teasingly, discarding the light blue sweater so he can pull the darker one on.

"That would be awful for several reasons," Steve says. "Mainly because despite my better judgment, I'd probably get in a fight with everyone who laid eyes on you."

Bucky shoots him a pleased grin as he moves over to a pile of pants and fishes out the right ones. "Well, lucky for everyone, I'll concede to putting on pants," he says and sits down on the bed so he can start pulling them on.

Steve scoots up behind him, thoroughly waylaying his progress by sticking his cold hands up the front of Bucky’s sweater and making him yelp. Still, he leans back into Steve’s arms, pants half way up his thighs, and Steve smiles. He turns to nuzzle the side of Bucky’s head, breathing in the scent of him. Already it feels like home.

_I love you,_ he thinks, and doesn’t say it yet, but soon. He thinks maybe Bucky can pick it up on his scent anyway, full of happiness and contentment and love, love, love.

“I thought we were gonna be late,” Bucky says, but he lays still in Steve’s arms, resting his hands over Steve’s on his stomach through the sweater, rubbing a little to warm them up.

“Nah, not yet.”

Bucky turns his head as far as he can, asking for a kiss Steve readily gives him. It's slow and sweet, not trying to be more than it is, and they lose a little time kissing softly.

They're both smiling when they pull apart and Steve presses one more kiss to Bucky's cheek before he lets him go so he can finish getting dressed.

Bucky takes a long look at himself in the mirror when he's done, running a hand through his hair consideringly.

"It looks fine, you don't have to mess with it," Steve says.

“Have you ever not thought I looked good?” Bucky asks, shooting Steve a sideways look. “Because you’re not really an objective opinion.”

“Okay, well, I think you’re adorable when you wake up with bed hair everywhere, but I wouldn’t tell you that you should meet new people like that,” Steve promises, and Bucky rolls his eyes.

He ends up throwing on one of his many leather jackets, grey tonight and lighter than the sweater. He still looks like every wet dream Steve ever had, but more than that he’s the sweetheart who curls up in Steve’s lap, who brings him food when he can’t leave work, who’s shy and lovely and so, so kind. He’s perfect.

"Guess I'm ready to go," Bucky says after he puts on his shoes. He runs his hand through his hair again, more of a nervous gesture than anything else this time, and Steve takes his other hand in his, squeezing it in assurance.

"It's gonna be fine, I promise," he smiles and Bucky takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he nods.

"Okay, let's go."

**Author's Note:**

> We're so excited to finally be able to share this fic with you guys! We hope you love it as much as we do. Here’s some visual [references](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/04/11/11/330E09CB00000578-0-image-a-59_1460369614041.jpg) for [Bucky](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/c3/90/a0/c390a02b8ccab5fee9f08b54cd8737ae.jpg) in this [fic](https://68.media.tumblr.com/71a6c1823a03d9fcbf27a44eeda50765/tumblr_o5yyapwZk61r9pt1so1_r1_500.png), because we specifically wrote this whole thing while looking at pictures of Sebastian Stan and suffering.
> 
> If you want to hang out with us on tumblr, we're [girl3wonder](http://girl3wonder.tumblr.com/) and [portraitofemmy](http://portraitofemmy.tumblr.com/). Thank you so much for reading!


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